Last week we looked at the natural progression of confidence. However, we all know confidence doesn't always follow the expected course, and often even when it's high, something knocks it down. So, this week, we look at why that happens.

There are at least six common sappers of confidence. 1. Unhealthy perfectionism. 2. An overly boisterous inner critic.  3. Impostor Phenomenon. 4. Comparison. 5. Over-reliance on external validation. 6. Projected Judgment. Many of these are...

We all have areas we are more confident in than other areas of our lives. It's natural. Overcoming insecurities is a powerful thing that takes dedication and trust. In the coming weeks, we will uncover the issues that get in the way of this process and open a dialogue about having self-confidence when doing something new. Today we dig into the typical process of growing in confidence.

Merriam-Webster gives the essential definition of confidence as "a feeling or belief that you...

Our brains naturally focus on the negatives and when we are stressed, that is even more true.  Gratefulness practices help us right-size it. 

Have a joy-filled week! Tonya

Now is a great time to see how I partner with family medicine residency programs to help physicians enjoy their chosen careers. Learn more here. 

Week 3 Resolving Decisions

Two weeks ago, we looked at issues around making personal decisions, and last week we addressed targeting those issues. This week, I will offer tools and strategies compiled from many mentors and sources that I find helpful over the years. 

Kristina Guo, Chair of the Division of Public Administration at the University of Hawaii, designed the DECIDE model for healthcare managers. The anacronym breaks the process down to (1) D = define the problem,...

Last week we reviewed issues that arise around making personal decisions. This week, I’m offering you some steps to deal with the issues raised last week. Then, next week, we will dive into specific actions I find most useful.

Since we identified common procrastination as a barrier to making a decision – let’s talk about overcoming it. First, the “I’m too busy” root of procrastination - learning to carve out time for your priorities is a life skill...

As physicians, we are trained to make dozens of decisions quickly each day. Yet, we aren't necessarily taught how to translate those methods into our personal lives. There are many methods, tools, and techniques out there that help business leaders make decisions. Some are very applicable to the personal world, and others- not so much.

Before I launch into my techniques for decision-making, compiled from many mentors over the years, I want to explore the issues around decisions first.

Begin recognizing your automatic stories that include fact and assumptions. This creates room for you to break common thought distortions. And shift your perspective towards one that serves you better. 

Have a joy-filled month - Tonya

Our 12-week course for individual physicians walks you through detailed steps of ditching of how our thoughts work. You learn how to decrease unnecessary suffering, protecting and increasing your energy, and fostering your ideal future. 

Let’s explore external validation. I believe it’s an important topic since it, along with unhealthy perfectionism and a couple of other issues, played a role in my burnout story. Residents, and faculty alike, often fall prey to an unhealthy desire for others' approval.

The satisfaction of external validation is not, in and of itself, a bad thing. It’s a natural occurrence with some adaptive consequences historically.  Wanting to belong and a desire for external...

Oh, the elusive yet promising search for work-life balance. I hear people say it's not possible. I listen to others proclaim it is absolutely possible.  Once I found a few different ways to view it – I learned I lean more toward the latter camp than the former.  I offer you the three ways of viewing it that have helped me.  Two of which appear in my brain as novel thoughts (though it's possible it's not original – my brain is funny that way) and one which I...

I first heard this great concept of developing your own personal board of directors from Dr. Sasha Shillcutt, who accomplishes more than most people on any given day. If you think of your life as an extraordinary company that can impact the world – and you as its CEO, great benefit can be uncovered by developing your own board of directors that help guide you forward to thrive.

When I had the opportunity, early in my career, to help develop and become the medical director for a...