Reflections in medicine to shift out of acting mode.
Oct 15, 2022
This week I am offering some reflective thoughts to shift you out of actor/actress mode that we discussed last week and into owning and being proud of who you are and how you conduct yourself. This way of being, honors your genuine self and decreases the emphasis on vying for others' approval.
It will be a concise read, but I invite you to spend at least 5 minutes getting granular with your answers. Bonus points for writing them out – which
- Moves things to the verbal cortex for processing and remembering.
- Gives you more of the objective observer perspective to gain clarity.
- Provides yourself with important reminders to reference in the future.
- Who are "they" when you think of what "they" think of you? Get specific – list their names and titles. It's much harder to confront an obscure challenger.
- Who are the individuals with whom you really value their opinions of you? Please let go of concerns about others' opinions that do not make this list.
- As to "But what if they are responsible for my promotions, evaluations, etc.?" What if being your favorite version of yourself is enough to get the desired promotions and evaluations? (shout out to Dr Melissa Parsons for the verbage from "best" self to "favorite.")
- What is more damaging in the long run – constantly striving to be who others want you to be or being yourself and taking a chance they get it wrong?
- Why do you care about the opinions of your respected individuals on the list?
- What do you want them to think about you?
- What are your top values? Why are these important to you?
- What do YOU want to think about YOURSELF?
- How is this already partially, if not entirely, believable?
- What would happen if you allowed people the grace to be wrong about you?
Once clear on these questions, it's much easier to right-size your reliance on external validation, performing, and hustling for your self-worth. Then when you do receive accolades, you can enjoy them and not fear they will be short-lived. You continue the work you desire in order to serve your purpose from your individual strengths and unique experiences.
Be gentle with yourself, friend. You have enough challenges in this noble work. Be as supportive of your own efforts as you are of your best friends and loved ones.
Have a joy-filled week! Tonya
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