Developing awareness that the repeated negative things you think of yourself are not actual facts is the first step in of quieting the inner critic. In this video, I give you a sneak peek inside my brain .  (More detail is given in my written blog.)

Enjoy!  Tonya

Check out my 6-week reset for a resident or faculty in difficulty here

Last week we discussed the art of listening well, which is a huge part of clear, effective communication.

A good rule to start is even before you utter a word, do 2 things: 1. Check-in with yourself briefly. What’s the real intent behind your communication? – Are you happy with it? 2. Check your stress level.

We want to come with a clean mindset when we communicate all the time, but in higher stakes communication with patients, staff, colleagues, consultants,...

George Bernard Shaw once said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

It's so true. We email someone, text someone, say something, and then are shocked when the person feels we didn't communicate.  And at other times, people expect that we know something because they're under the false assumption we are in the loop.

We can only be responsible for our own part of communicating. So let's zero in on a couple...

Last week, we discussed what the  Inner Critic is and how to develop an awareness of its presence and its damage.  This week, we move on to the next steps of quieting your inner critic.

Step 1 –Awareness as discussed last week.

Step 2 – Get a clear picture of your critic.  In your mind or via some art form, put a face to your inner critic. Does it look like some form of yourself, a drill sergeant, your dismissive stoic teacher with her glasses...

We all have an inner critic.

What is an inner critic? The inner critic is that voice inside our heads that spews negative self-talk to us from time to time, or maybe all the time.  It criticizes, judges, and shames us. It reminds us of failures over and over. It paints us in the harshest light. 

When it speaks, it usually says things like “You aren’t _______enough” fill in the blank – good enough, smart enough, tall enough, confident...

Self-care isn't going to remove all the various external difficulties in the system, but it will bolster your natural resilience and renew your energy for the tasks at hand. 

Recognize that you need to recharge regularly. You will have more energy and presence in all other areas of your life. It is not selfish. Pick one area you know you'd benefit from if done regularly.

1. Prioritize it and put it on the schedule.

2. Keep your promise to yourself.

3. Have fun rediscovering what is...

This week we will conclude our series on coping. The first week, we discussed some positive external methods to cope, along with a list of resources.  Last week, we discussed internal mechanisms of coping.  And finally, we tackle the cliff-hanger of sitting with your emotion and processing it. 

Part of healthy coping involves processing emotions. As physicians, we often distance emotions. That serves us well in times of emergency to stay focused. It is also helpful when...

Last week we discussed the net-negative effect of poor coping mechanisms and positive external alternatives.  Today, we go a bit deeper into internal coping strategies. 

We are human, and as such, will experience the full range of human emotions. We need practical ways of dealing with the negative and stressful ones.

When you are on the verge of an emotional outburst or inburst, utilize a quick grounding or centering exercise. There are several out there.  Sit...

We've talked a bit in the past about coping with COVID19. I want to expand to discuss how we as physicians can deal with everyday stressors.

It's not news to say being a physician, especially a family physician, especially a resident or faculty physician, especially in a pandemic, can be stressful.  The question is, what do you do with that stress?  And what result is your coping mechanism leaving you with? We have previously discussed moral injury and closing the stress cycle, but...