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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Worst Case, Story and Reflection
Early on, as a new physician coach, one of my first group sessions was in a Zoom breakout room with residents during their grand rounds. The main room topic, presented by another physician coach, a surgeon, was Unhealthy Perfectionism, briefly mentioning how our thoughts affect our emotions and a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 09, 2025 assumptions avoidance awareness coaching curiosity empathy engagement grace insight intent interpretation mindset patience perception presence projection reflection silence uncertainty vulnerability
The Spectacle Reflection
Back when my youngest daughter was on the high school track team, I sat in stands cheering her team on. I was watching the guys race the 1600 meters. The front two were neck and neck on the last curve. Suddenly one collapsed. You know those times when you are thankful for a timely article or lect...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 09, 2025 accpetance awareness courage embarrassment emotion empathy grace growth humanity humor perspective presence processing recovery reflection resilience response support survival vulnerability
What's Possible Reflection
My husband has an affinity for renovation. He's talked me into 3 major renovations over 3 decades. He's the visionary. I used to be overwhelmed walking into places and immediately discount them as hopeless. But, he would say, "It has good bones," and "I can see it in my mind." I learned to believ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 09, 2025 belief brainstorm brainstorming collaborate collaboration creativity flexibility growth innovation mindset obstacles optimism patience persistence perspective possibility renovation resourceful resourcefulness solutions strategy support vision
Accomplishing the Mission Reflection
Last June, the Titan submersive caught the attention of the world. When he described the Naval Submarine Priorities in all situations, Rear Admiral John Mauger caught my attention when he said: "Number 1 is Safety, Number 2 is maybe something along the lines of avoiding counter detection, Number ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 09, 2025 altruism boundaries intervention leadership mission overextension perspective prevention priorities proactvity recovery reflection resilience rest risk safety self-awareness sustainability warning-signs wellness
Stress Reflection
This week, I invite you to look at a particular stressor you are currently facing, just faced, or anticipate facing. At first glance, how is it a threat? When you look through this lens of what's at risk? Notice how that feels. For me, I notice an increased intensity in my heartbeat and a little ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 adaptability agency awareness breath challenge clarity empowerment mindset neurobiology presence problem-solving reframe regulation resilience resources response shift stress threat
Story Reflection
This past week, I listened to a webinar featuring Dr. Paul Chelminski from UNC - Chapel Hill (and my former faculty advisor in the CHARM GME Wellbeing Course). He stated that much of our discontent in medicine comes from taking too much refuge in the idealized version of medicine. (My interpretat...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 acceptance advocacy agency aspiration boundaries compassion connection discontent gratitude grounding idealism inspiration mindset perspective presence purpose realignment reality reflefction satisfaction
Edit Reflection
When we lived in Florida, we had a lab mix named Snickers. True to his breed, he loved to be right next to his people. While we were temporarily in a rental house, he had to stay outside, and he became an escape artist. One day driving home from work, I saw him happily trotting on the side of the...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 acceptance adaptability bias compassion connection forgiveness grace growth humor identity interpretation learning lightness mistakes ownership perspective redemption reframing rescue storytelling
The In-Between Reflection
A story with three invitations for you to reflect. A few months ago, a friend asked if I would consider a small part-time role that seemed exciting in some respects and daunting in others. (Plus, the potential to be distracting even). I quickly did the reflex thing that I rarely do - I said, "Of ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 alignment balance boundaries calling centering clarity commitment decision discernment integrity mentorship peace priorities process purpose reflection service surrender waiting wisdom
Giving Reflection
This week, in the spirit of giving - I invite you to consider who you might gift a unique gift to. The gift of extending positive intent is powerful. I once coached a resident who felt a particular attending "had it out for him." He reviewed the evidence. I asked if there was any other way to see...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 awareness burnout coaching cognitive reframing compassion emotional intelligence empathy gratitude growth insight intent leadership medicine mindset perspective perspective shift positive intent reflection reframing relationships resilience suffering teaching wellness
Question Reflection
In this week's Joy FM Snippet, I invite you to reflect on the automatic questions you ask yourself on the regular. Our brains are wired to look for and deliver answers. So if you ask things like, "What is wrong with me?" then your brain will go looking for all the answers. You likely will feel wo...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 adaptation awareness change coaching compassion curiosity empowerment growth habits insight mindset neuroscience optimism perspective positivity questions reflection reframing resilience self-talk
VW Bug Reflection
For this week's reflection, I invite you to picture a 4-seater car. My friend, Dr Sasha Shillcutt, likes to talk about balancing/integrating life as the driver. You occupy the driver's seat (hopefully!), and then you have one other front-seat passenger and 2 back-seat passengers. Here's my take. ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 awareness balance boundaries capacity choice clarity commitment control decision-making discernment energy focus integration intentionality mindfulness navigation priorities reflection responsibility time
Optional Suffering
This week I invite you to look for one area of optional suffering you may want to address. That is one in which you allow your mind to automatically go. I experienced it firsthand after a bike crash left me with broken ribs. (There's not even a cool story to go along with it - I just make a rash ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 acceptance awareness change clarity compassion discomfort distress emotion focus habits healing mindfulness perspective presence reflection regulation relief resilience suffering thoughts
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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
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