Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Reflection: Passing it On
This past week, I had the great honor of sitting in a (virtual) room with five individuals who have dedicated decades of their careers to leadership in graduate medical education (GME).
The idea for this gathering started one morning when I woke up thinking about how tough leading in GME can be. ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
collaborative growth
collective wisdom
community
connection
cultivation
honoring
humility
impact
influence
inspiration
intergenerational learning
knowledge transfer
leadership
legacy
longevity
meaning making
mentorship
reflective practice
ripple effect
slow leadership
stewardship
storytelling
transparency
vision casting
vulnerability
wisdom
Two Travelers and A Mountain: Tale and Reflection
Two explorers set out on a journey to find a hidden village high in the mountains. Both were experienced travelers, used to well-marked paths, sturdy bridges, and reliable guides.
They started on different sides of the mountain which strattled two countries. The first traveler was started in an...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
agency
awareness
calm in chaos
clarity
comparison
expectation reset
expectations
frustration
internal shift
journey
mindset
orientation
perspective
presence
privilege
purpose
reframing
resilience
resistance
surrender
systems thinking
transformation
trial and error
Wake Up Call in Paradise: Story and Reflection
In 2018, our annual mid-winter break took us to Hawaii with our adult daughters and our one grand-little at the time. We stayed together in an Airbnb, soaking up the warmth and beauty of the islands.
One morning, I took the grand in the stroller while the others split into two groups of runners h...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
acceptance
calm in chaos
clarity
composure
detachment
emergency
faith
false alarm
family
gratitude
grounding
instinct
legacy
meaning
mindfulness
mindset
perspective
presence
priority reset
reflection
resilience
surrealism
surrender
uncertainty
value alignment
The Helper's Fine Line: Story and Reflection
I usually received good grades and positive comments on my report cards as a kid. However, I received one remark from my first-grade teacher that I wasn't sure how to take. She wrote, "Tonya is sometimes too helpful to her neighbors."
Being helpful is good, right?
I mean, Dawn was struggling with...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
autonomy
boundaries
burnout
capacity building
coaching
developmental struggle
discomfort
enablement
expectations
growth
growth mindset
helicoptering
independence
intention
learning
mental muscle
mentoring
modeling
overhelping
pause
rescuing
role clarity
self-efficacy
supportive leadership
trust
Time Hack and Emotions: Story and Reflection
Time Hack - I'm modeling scheduled rest and boundaries, so I got creative with scheduling this week's reflection. 😊 Time-hack - make your work count twice. I'm working smarter not harder - linking you to the reflection from my blog rather than writing something new while I'm off.
The story: I'm o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
automation
balance
boundaries
creativity
delegation
efficiency
emotional awareness
flexibility
intentionality
off-grid
pacing
prioritization
reflection
rest
self-care
self-permission
simplicity
smart working
sustainability
time management
The Draft Reflection
At the start of the pandemic, my primary role was in a private practice setting, though I still filled in as faculty at the residency (as I do now).
In our group of six physicians and one PA, we were constantly using every resource available to stay up to date on the ever-evolving science—what it...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
adaptability
advocacy
balance
bandwidth
burnout
collaboration
communication
community
drafting
educaiton
energy management
information fatigue
leadership
misinformation
overload
pacing
perspective
priorities
public health
recovery
reflection
regulation
resilience
resource sharing
solidarity
support
sustainability
teamwork
trust
uncertainty
Filtering Voices: Story and Reflection
Like many medical students, I went back and forth on what specialty I really loved. OB/GYN? Sports Medicine? Internal Medicine? Rheum? Endocrine? Psychiatry? Adolescent Medicine? (Yes, all of them!)
I also had a fantastic role model in my dad, an outpatient family doc beloved by his patients. And...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
affirmation
belonging
choice
clarity
compassion
confidence
courage
decision making
doubt
encouragement
identity
influence
insecurity
integrity
internal guidance
judgment
medical culture
mentorship
perception
power dynamics
purpose
reassurance
reflection
respect
self-trust
soundtracks
validation
values
voice
wisdom
Reflection: The Adventure of Conversation
I had just turned a group of faculty workshop participants loose to help each other work on short term career goals & to do so by practicing their new coaching skills with each other.
I encouraged them to keep their advice-monster at bay. (See Michael Bungay Stanier's The Advice Trap).
When they ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
advice trap
awareness
co-creation
coaching
communication
connection
curiosity
discovery
empathy
engagement
exploration
facilitation
growth
guidance
insight
interaction
learning
listening
mindset
non-judgment
openness
pattern recognition
physician habit
practice
presence
reflection
restraint
storytelling
transformation
trust
Blindfolds: Story and Reflection
For better or worse (mostly better), I'm partly the result of having an older sister.
When we were kids, she had brilliant ideas for games. One of her favorites? A blindfolded taste test.
She claimed it was all in good fun—but let’s be honest, it was her sneaky way of trying to cure my “ridiculou...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
agency
autonomy
boundaries
childhood
coaching
competence
control
curiosity
empowerment
encouragement
experimentation
growth
humor
individuality
insight
learning
memory
non-judgment
persuasion
playfulness
psychological safety
reflection
relatedness
resilience
resistance
self-discovery
skepticism
support
trial and error
trust
Word of the Year Reflection
Choosing a word of the year provides a simple yet powerful compass that can guide your decisions, actions, and mindset throughout the year. It's like a quick check-in on your purpose statement focused on 2025.
As we step into a new year, take 15 minutes to sit quietly with yourself and reflect. A...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
adaptability
alignment
amalgamation
blending
choice
clarity
coaching
decision making
direction
empowerment
flexibility
focus
guidance
identity
integration
intention
leadership
mentoring
mindfulness
personal growth
purpose
reflection
resilience
roles
self-awareness
strength
transformation
transition
values
word of the year
Reflecting on Two Things
In preparing for the AMWA Evolve Leadership Course for trainees session on Difficult Conversations, I've been reflecting on principles from Crucial Conversations, Super Communicators, Non-Violent Communication, and How to Work with Almost Anyone (all highly recommended books).
We often fall into ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
awareness
balance
binary thinking
communication
compassion
complexity
conflict resolution
contradiction
curiosity
discernment
emotional intelligence
empathy
fool's choice
grace
growth
honesty
kindness
labeling
mindset
nuance
overgeneralization
paradox
perspective
polarity thinking
reflection
relationship
self-regulation
truth
understanding
wake
All That Jazz Story and Reflection
I'm going to give away one of the truths that throws people off when I play two truths and a lie. I learned to tap dance and even performed on stage after I was a practicing physician. I know, I know - hard to picture. 😉
My daughter was taking violin lessons in a studio that had just started offe...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
all-or-nothing
awkwardness
challenge
control
creativity
discomfort
encouragement
expectations
feedback
fun
growth mindset
inspiration
learning
letting go
mastery
mindset
motivation
patience
perfectionism
performance
perseverance
personal growth
practice
reflection
reframe
resilience
role modeling
self-awareness
self-compassion
vulnerability
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections