Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
The Myth of Ready
This week, I tried a simple AI morning brain-warm-up experiment at the suggestion of Alex Morgan from The Neuron.
I gave ChatGPT this reflective prompt: Share one interesting assumption I might hold without realizing.
The response: Sometimes we assume we need clarity before we’re allowed to move....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Feb 06, 2026
action
balance
burnout
clarity
contribution
creativity
decision
default mode
direction
equlibrium
experimentation
growth
healing
insight
leadership
learning
metaphor
mindset
momentum
movement
neuroscience
paddleboarding
progress
reassessment
recovery
reflection
resilience
rest
strategy
thinking
uncertainty
The Casting Room
I’ve been reflecting on how easily past training experiences (or any experience for that matter) can be oversimplified by those who didn’t live them.
It took me a minute to understand why that bothered me. It's because those oversimplified accounts tell a very narrow story of some of the very exp...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 31, 2026
burnout
compassion
grace
healing
healthcare
humanity
humility
kindness
medicine
mentorship
perfectionism
professionalism
reflection
residency
resilience
stress
suffering
surgery
training
trauma
vulnerability
witnessing
Progress Through Process
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately in complex work with many moving parts: helping design a longitudinal faculty coach training with the STFM CBME Faculty Coach Training initiative, and collaborating with colleagues through an AMA-funded Precision Medicine education grant with GAFP. In both ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 28, 2026
adaptability
attention
chunking
coaching
development
discipline
discomfort
focus
growth
improvement
incremental
integration
learning
mastery
mindfulness
observation
patience
persistence
planning
practice
process
progression
reflection
resilience
skillbuilding
Story and Reflection: By the Book
A lighter note for today. I thought it’d be fun to share a story about what happens when my rule-follower tendencies show up at the exact moment my plan stops matching reality.
Not too long ago, while traveling with multiple stops, airline changes, and short layovers, I was determined to fit ever...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 28, 2026
acceptance
adaptability
control
determination
flexibility
frustration
humility
humor
improvisation
mindfulness
partnership
patience
perseverance
perspective
planning
problem-solving
reflection
resilience
rules
travel
What’s Your Fuel Level?
It’s the start of a new year, and for many of us, change is on the horizon.
Sometimes that change is self-initiated. Sometimes it’s suggested by others. Sometimes it’s formally required. In medicine and academic life, change often shows up wrapped in goals, milestones, improvement plans, or feedb...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 09, 2026
academia
agency
alignment
autonomy
behavior
beliefs
change
coaching
compliance
confidence
defensiveness
discipline
education
emotions
feedback
fuel
goals
growth
identity
importance
integrity
leadership
learning
meaning
medicine
motivation
needs
ownership
process
purpose
readiness
reflection
reframing
resistance
sustainability
thinking
transformation
values
The Emerging Choice: Staying for the Long Game or Moving On Gracefully
And just like that, it’s 2026!
The perfect time for the final piece in a five-part series exploring what helps when you care deeply about something, your influence no longer influences, and meaningful change seems unlikely.
Over the past several weeks, I’ve shared a few different approaches to ha...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 09, 2026
abundance
academia
agency
alignment
calling
choice
clarity
coaching
commitment
completion
culture
departure
discernment
equanimity
fulfillment
hope
identity
influence
integrity
leadership
legacy
maturity
meaning
medicine
ownership
patience
physicians
purpose
renewal
resilience
scarcity
stewardship
sustainability
systems
timing
transition
values
wellbeing
wisdom
Holding Pattern
This is Week 4 of a 5-part series exploring those moments when you care deeply about an issue, and nothing you do seems to move the needle.
So far, we’ve looked at three different approaches to that situation: • Week 1: Redefining success when outcomes aren’t changing • Week 2: Navigating real co...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 09, 2026
academia
agency
alignment
ambiguity
becoming
belonging
calling
choice
clarity
coaching
dignity
discernment
endurance
engagement
equilibrium
fulfillment
holding
identity
leadership
liminality
maturity
meaning
medicine
middle
patience
physicians
presence
process
purpose
resilience
restraint
steadiness
tension
threshold
timing
transition
uncertainty
urgency
values
wisdom
worth
When Influence Stops Working: Acceptance Without Endorsement
This is Part 3 of a 5-part series exploring what helps when influence has stopped working. Nothing moves. No matter how much skill, strategy, data, coalition-building, or heart you bring. And it’s something you care deeply about.
Earlier pieces focused on redefining success and navigating constra...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 09, 2026
academia
acceptance
adaptation
agency
alignment
boundaries
bureaucracy
burnout
clarity
coaching
constraint
control
detachment
discernment
dynamics
dysfunction
emotionality
endorsement
energy
equanimity
expectations
frustration
influence
leadership
letting go
maturity
medicine
ownership
predictability
prioritization
reafctivity
reality
regulation
resilience
sobriety
stewardship
sustainability
systems
tolerance
wisdom
The Hallway Experience (From the Archives)
I recently heard the phrase “hallway experience.” It resonated with me.
The hallway represents the waiting period after the quintessential 'one door closes' and before 'another one opens.' For me, the hallway period began somewhat nebulously between the pandemic start and formal coach certific...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 17, 2025
agency
alignment
calling
co-creation
coaching
fulfillment
growth
identity
liminality
meaning
medicine
purpose
reinvention
transition
uncertainty
Suitcases, Constraints, and Where Possibility Lives
Last week, I wrote about a familiar moment in medicine: when you’ve used every skillful form of influence you have (data, stories, coalitions, reframing) and nothing moves. When effort stops matching outcome, (high importance, low control, and your influence stalls), there are a few ways forward....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 12, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
agency
burnout
constraint
control
creativity
energy
flexibility
impact
influence
leadership
limits
navigation
possibility
problem-solving
reframing
resilience
strategy
systems
When Influence Stops Influencing
Every physician leader I coach eventually reaches the same moment. They’ve done the work: gathered data, built coalitions, shared meaningful stories, aligned it to the core corporate values, used every bit of their Crucial Conversations skill set, emotionally intelligenced the nuances, and framed...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
acceptance
agency
alignment
boundaries
burnout
change
clarity
coalition
community
connection
discernment
energy
exhaustion
frustration
influence
integrity
leadership
mentorship
metrics
perspective
process
purpose
reality
reflection
regulation
resistance
strategy
systems
values
Grateful for Rejection? A Post-Thanksgiving Reflection
If you’re feeling maxed out on gratitude messages this month, you’re not alone. The day after Thanksgiving tends to expose the gap between the gratitude we’re “supposed” to feel and how our brains actually work. That gap is where the science gets interesting. So instead of another round of holida...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
acceptance
awareness
bias
burnout
clarity
disappointment
ego
gratitude
growth
happiness
insight
mindfulness
mindset
mood
negativity
perspective
positivity
psychology
purpose
reflection
reframing
resilience
sleep
stress
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
