A story with three invitations for you to reflect. A few months ago, a friend asked if I would consider a small part-time role that seemed exciting in some respects and daunting in others. (Plus, the potential to be distracting even). I quickly did the reflex thing that I rarely do - I said, "Of course." I know plenty of people who reflexively say yes - but that's not typical for me. So, I reflected afterward to find the reasons behind that.
My perspective was my friend was stepping up to take on a challenge for the greater good. She's an inspiration. At the same time, it was going to cost her, and it seemed like she was asking if I'd help bear the cost by allowing her to offload the role. It also is a greater good that I care about deeply. So it boiled down to service. Not people-pleasing. And felt healthier than a rescuer role.
However, I hadn't taken the time to weigh the costs and decide where it belongs in the circle graph below. In the center, you choose what the MOST important things (MIT) are in work and life; all other things - even good ones - can be viewed as threatening your MIT. Reflection 1: What is/are your MIT? What things need to be viewed as in the outer ring? What boundaries do you need?
Would I be willing to put the role at the center of my priorities, or would it be better classified in the outer ring. I did gain clarity that if I took it on, it would have to be added to the center to do it justice. So, I spent a great deal of time contemplating and discussing it with my husband. I also called 2 mentors and 2 friends who had a lot of insight into the role. I found myself feeling very grounded and excited about the role. And when I listened to Dr. Renee Crichlow, president of STFM, recount this quote:
"You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it," it resonated deeply - even though my context was different. Reflection 2: Where does this quote hit you?
And so, I confirmed my decision and level of commitment. And then, I waited - I am waiting. The decision wasn't up to my friend. And the decision-makers are working through the long process.
And that's where things stand - where I stand - in the "in-between." And I'm at complete peace either way. As I see it, if it's meant to be, I'll take it on; if not, I'll let it go. I'll count either outcome as celebration-worthy. The exercise to get here was fruitful either way. And that impactful quote won't be wasted.
Reflection 3: What approach helps you make decisions and achieve peace in the waiting? I'd love to hear.
Responses