Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

I was talking with a physician recently who started his own practice. Someone had asked about him in a local Facebook group. There were about thirty responses. Not just “he’s good,” but detailed, generous paragraphs about his skill, empathy, time, and care. And then one line: “My mom saw him and ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 adaptability attention awareness beliefs boundaries burnout coaching comparison confidence criticism delegation development emotions empathy feeback focus grace growth identity improvement interpretation leadership learning medicine mentorship mindset narrative perspective physician practice purpose reflection reputation resilience reviews selfworth trigger validation values wellbeing

Don't Game Tape Alone

Last week, I was sitting in a hotel conference room in Chicago at the AMA Precision Medicine Conference listening to Dr. Lara Varpio from the Perelman School of Medicine talk about agency. Not the vague "you have more power than you think" kind, but the research kind. She offered four of the six ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 04, 2026 advising agency awareness coaching collaboration communication connection constraints conversation culture data development discursive education empowerment faculty feedback growth guidance improvement insight leadership learning meaning medicine mentorship mindset partnership performance practice reflection relational relationships residency self-awareness support systemic systems temporal transformation trust

Back to Now: When the Clock Stops Judging You

A physician I was coaching recently brought this to a session: “I’m always running late in clinic.” If you work in medicine in this day and age, you know that reality. But as we slowed it down, she noticed something important: ‘Late’ has judgment. The actual data? She walked into the room at 10:3...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Mar 27, 2026 acceptance attention awareness balance calm clarity coaching compassion data decision making efficiency effort emotion focus healthcare insight judgment medicine mental health midnfulness observation organization overwhelm patient care perception performance perspective physician presence prioritization process productivity reflection reslience self-awareness self-compassion stress surgeon thoughts wellbeing workflow

Childhood Courage

In our early days as a family with one car, my husband's boss would pick him up for work up on a motorcycle. He kept the spare helmet at our house. Our oldest, a toddler at the time, had an instinctual and intense fear of the helmet -- even when Mark was wearing it (wise beyond her years?). This ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Mar 18, 2026 action behavior bravery breakthrough challenge change childhood coaching comfort-zone confidence courage determination development empowerment family fear fearlessness future goal-setting growth habits inspiration learning life-lessons mindfulness mindset motivation overcoming parenting personal-growth progress psychology reflection resilience reward risk self-growth storytelling success transformation vision

Say It Again

Recently, something happened in a meeting that used to bother me, but now I find it fascinating. I was catching a colleague up who had missed the previous meeting. We had left one decision unresolved: where to place a particular talk. I mentioned the option we had discussed and asked for her take...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Mar 13, 2026 alignment attention awareness behavior clarity cognition collaboration communication complexity culture curiosity decision making distration dynamics focus grace group hearing inattention information insight integration leaders leadership learning listening management meetings message messaging miscommunication neuroscience patience patterns perception processing psychology reflection reinforcement reminders repetition signals strategy teamwork understanding workplace

What Renovation Taught Me About Teams

My husband and I are back in the messy middle of building. We are not a strangers to it. We completely renovated a historic home over seven years and our Alaskan home over ten, with my husband acting as contractor, doing the work he enjoyed and subbing the rest out. And now, we’re building remote...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Mar 13, 2026 adaptation alignment behavior building change clarity co-creation collaboration communication conflict construction creativity decision making development dynamics expectations forming friction group growth homebuilding innovation leadership learning marriage mindset organization partnership patience performing problem solving process progress reflection remodel renovation resilience satisfaction storming structure teams teamwork transformation uncertainty vision

Tools and Strategies

Mindset I always spend a lot of time on mindset. It is foundational and under-discussed. However, if we only change mindset without also learning strategies and new tools, many things will stay the same. For instance, you may have a whole new outlook on your inbox. But if you want to improve comm...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 27, 2026 accountability alignment assertiveness awareness boundaries burnout clarity cognitive load communication compassion conflict decision making development efficiency emotional intelligence empowerment energy management execution feedback focus growth intentionality kindness leadership mindset ownership perspective prevention prioritization proactivity processes productivity professionalism psychological safety reactivity reflection relationships repair resilience respect response sbar self-efficacy self-leadership self-regulation strategy structure systems triage

Marine Survival Weekend (From the Archives)

As a faculty member of the Alaska Family Medicine Residency program, I had my share of teaching during our infamous Wilderness Medicine Weekend excursion. In January, it involved snow cave construction, and in May, it involved marine safety. The first spring, I participated with 2 other faculty m...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 23, 2026 accountability adaptability alaska awareness education embarassment experience growth humility insight leadership learning medicine mentorship perspective professionalism reflection reframing residency resilience responsibility safety teaching teamwork trust wilderness wisdom

Same Game, Different Frame

Two men played chess a few evenings near the main path before dinner. It was entertaining to pass by and see them deep in strategic concentration. One night, two photos were taken about twenty minutes apart from different angles. In the first, the light, sky, and ocean make it feel expansive. So ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 21, 2026 aperture awareness chess contrast curiosity discourse empathy flexibility framing gratitude growth humility insight interpretation leadership lens light love medicine metaphor mindfulness mindset narrative perception perspective presence psychology reflection relationships strategy vantage

Beauty and Belonging Discovered After Change (From the Archives)

When we moved from Florida to Alaska in 2007, it wasn't necessarily a big hit with our teenage girls. My oldest moved off to college saying she would visit us but she wasn't "moving out of the country." My youngest, was about to start 8th grade and had strong opinions about leaving her friends an...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 18, 2026 acceptance adaptation adolescence alaska awareness beauty belonging change community discovery family gratitude growth home identity impermanence intentin joy mindfulness nature perspective presence refleciton reflection resilience transformation transition

Self-induced Blindspots

One time during a record snowfall winter, we ended up with a weekend alone. Our teenage daughter had been picked up by friends for the weekend. We decided to head downtown for a nice dinner. We took my car. As I was backing up our steep long drive, looking over my shoulder, the car jolted to a su...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 09, 2026 accountability assumptions attention automation awareness bias choice cognition expectations growth habits humility identity insgiht intention learning medicine metacognition mindfulness mindset neuropathways neuroscience parallels perception presence psychology reflection safety selfworth subconcious

The Myth of Ready

This week, I tried a simple AI morning brain-warm-up experiment at the suggestion of Alex Morgan from The Neuron. I gave ChatGPT this reflective prompt: Share one interesting assumption I might hold without realizing. The response: Sometimes we assume we need clarity before we’re allowed to move....

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 06, 2026 action balance burnout clarity contribution creativity decision default mode direction equlibrium experimentation growth healing insight leadership learning metaphor mindset momentum movement neuroscience paddleboarding progress reassessment recovery reflection resilience rest strategy thinking uncertainty

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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