Meet the Coach Testimonials Physician Growth Framework Self-Coaching Program Resource Hub
← Back to all posts

Story Reflection

by Dr. Tonya Caylor
Jun 08, 2025

This past week, I listened to a webinar featuring Dr. Paul Chelminski from UNC - Chapel Hill (and my former faculty advisor in the CHARM GME Wellbeing Course). He stated that much of our discontent in medicine comes from taking too much refuge in the idealized version of medicine. (My interpretation - the "should's and "should not's" as in it should be this way, it shouldn't be ike this).

Dr. Sarah Smith, rural family doc and the Charting Coach, recently offered my group a new way of viewing the shortage of time and resources to fill the needs around us. We can still have an ideal to aspire to (as opposed to being angry that we aren't already there or have left a better version in some cases).

However, redefining the ideal with the reality in which we live will help us accept what's possible right now, establish boundaries, advocate for what's necessary, find agency to experiment with our choices, and access self-compassion. (Notice you can have acceptance with advocacy). This has been a paradigm shift for several of the doctors who were in that coaching session. How can you redefine your ideal based on your current reality?

The antidote that Dr. Chelminski offered was this - return to the stories of our patients, the connections we make, and the things that we are able to do for them - this is grounding and pulls us from the discontentment that focusing on the idealized leads to.

What stories and patients come to mind that fill you with satisfaction, purpose, or honor? Where have you seen inspiration? What's made you smile (inwardly or outwardly)? How often do you make time to reflect on what you are accomplishing and connecting? How often will you commit to letting your brain marinade on these positives?

I'd love to hear what you notice and decide.

Responses

Join the conversation
t("newsletters.loading")
Loading...
Childhood Courage
In our early days as a family with one car, my husband's boss would pick him up for work up on a motorcycle. He kept the spare helmet at our house. Our oldest, a toddler at the time, had an instinctual and intense fear of the helmet -- even when Mark was wearing it (wise beyond her years?). This became a sticking point one day when we had locked ourselves out. We spied our keys on the desk thro...
Say It Again
Recently, something happened in a meeting that used to bother me, but now I find it fascinating. I was catching a colleague up who had missed the previous meeting. We had left one decision unresolved: where to place a particular talk. I mentioned the option we had discussed and asked for her take. As she began weighing the pros and cons, another member of our small group chimed in. β€œYou know wh...
What Renovation Taught Me About Teams
My husband and I are back in the messy middle of building. We are not a strangers to it. We completely renovated a historic home over seven years and our Alaskan home over ten, with my husband acting as contractor, doing the work he enjoyed and subbing the rest out. And now, we’re building remotely, which is a whole new layer of complexity. There are a lot of decisions, obstacles, differences o...

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Footer Logo
Terms Privacy Disclaimer Contact us Login Personal Code of Ethics
Powered by Kajabi

Stay Connected


Join my mailing list to receive free weekly tips and insights!