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What's Possible Reflection

by Dr. Tonya Caylor
Jun 09, 2025

My husband has an affinity for renovation. He's talked me into 3 major renovations over 3 decades. He's the visionary. I used to be overwhelmed walking into places and immediately discount them as hopeless. But, he would say, "It has good bones," and "I can see it in my mind."

I learned to believe in what's possible a little more after each project. I watched him reconfigure walls, move lighting, re-route plumbing, create windows, you name it.

On our third renovation, I, in the role of Designer, talked to him, as Electrician, about the light switch needing to be moved. To which he responded, "That's not possible." In my head, I heard him add, "Ma'am." So, I demanded to talk with the General Contractor. ๐Ÿ˜‚

He, as the Contractor, repeated, "It's not possible." But he added vague detail as he waved his hands around, attempting to instill confusion, about the original length of wiring and the location of junction boxes or something-another. I paused, smiled, and said, "But my husband has proven that everything is figureoutable..." There may have been a sigh. I'm sure the change order cost more money, time, and effort, but the light switch was moved to its proper place. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Now, this isn't a lesson on negotiating with your partner (because this approach hasn't consistently worked ๐Ÿ˜‰) but more on the idea that there is a solution for every obstacle. It may not be easy, free, or quick... but it's there.

Your invitation to reflect: What challenges are you facing that would benefit from airtime for brainstorming - getting past your brain's first-order answer of 'it's impossible'? Who needs to be brought in to partner uncovering strategies? Who are the ones with unique talents and perspectives that can help? What's the next small step to turning the obstacle into a strategy?

PS. One day I will read Marie Forleo's book Everything is Figureoutable - for now the title alone has been helpful.

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