Meet the Coach Testimonials Physician Growth Framework Self-Coaching Program Resource Hub
← Back to all posts

What's Possible Reflection

by Dr. Tonya Caylor
Jun 09, 2025

My husband has an affinity for renovation. He's talked me into 3 major renovations over 3 decades. He's the visionary. I used to be overwhelmed walking into places and immediately discount them as hopeless. But, he would say, "It has good bones," and "I can see it in my mind."

I learned to believe in what's possible a little more after each project. I watched him reconfigure walls, move lighting, re-route plumbing, create windows, you name it.

On our third renovation, I, in the role of Designer, talked to him, as Electrician, about the light switch needing to be moved. To which he responded, "That's not possible." In my head, I heard him add, "Ma'am." So, I demanded to talk with the General Contractor. 😂

He, as the Contractor, repeated, "It's not possible." But he added vague detail as he waved his hands around, attempting to instill confusion, about the original length of wiring and the location of junction boxes or something-another. I paused, smiled, and said, "But my husband has proven that everything is figureoutable..." There may have been a sigh. I'm sure the change order cost more money, time, and effort, but the light switch was moved to its proper place. 😊

Now, this isn't a lesson on negotiating with your partner (because this approach hasn't consistently worked 😉) but more on the idea that there is a solution for every obstacle. It may not be easy, free, or quick... but it's there.

Your invitation to reflect: What challenges are you facing that would benefit from airtime for brainstorming - getting past your brain's first-order answer of 'it's impossible'? Who needs to be brought in to partner uncovering strategies? Who are the ones with unique talents and perspectives that can help? What's the next small step to turning the obstacle into a strategy?

PS. One day I will read Marie Forleo's book Everything is Figureoutable - for now the title alone has been helpful.

Responses

Join the conversation
t("newsletters.loading")
Loading...
The Penstock Paradox
I've been catching up on Lisa Rosenbaum's Not Otherwise Specified podcast series on primary care. https://not-otherwise-specified-podcast.nejm.org/e/when-no-ones-watching/ The final episode is titled When No One's Watching. Near the end, Jonathan Han, a family physician and residency director, talks about the kinds of things that rarely are captured by metrics: the relationship-building, the mo...
Broadening the Differential: A Lesson in Agile Thinking
I've been spending time with colleagues lately exploring the concept of agility in the research literature. And as a result, I keep finding the need for it everywhere. This week alone, our house build presented a wiring issue that no longer aligned with the original lighting and door-swing plans just as sheetrock was about to go up, so we adjusted to the next-best option. A role-play script for...
Cognitive Dissonance (From the Archives)
Growing up, my world consisted of good kids like Spook, Ryan, Barry, Jean, and Christy. Especially Jean, she would draw fun pictures and write nice things in a note folded up for me at school: "To Tonya, my friend. From: Jean, your friend." There were bad kids like Eddie - who would come to our street and try to bully the guys. (I had to stand up for them and ran him off our street on more than...

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Footer Logo
Terms Privacy Disclaimer Contact us Login Personal Code of Ethics
Powered by Kajabi

Stay Connected


Join my mailing list to receive free weekly tips and insights!