Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

In clinical & academic medicine, and in leadership, “they” shows up a lot. They’ll think I’m a joke. They can tell I don’t belong. They are totally judging me. But here’s the problem: “they” rarely has a face. A faceless crowd gets invited to our mental table of influence, and suddenly we’re serv...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 29, 2025 academia boundaries clarity colleagues comparison critics crowd decisions discernment doubt energy fear feedback growth influence judgment leaders leadership medicine overgeneralization perspective power reflection resilience source table voices worth

The Power of a Pen: Story and Reflection

Sometimes autonomy doesn’t start with a policy change or a big career decision. Sometimes it starts with… a pen. Last week, I listened to Dr. Jeff Haney, Vice Dean for Clinical Affairs at WSU Elson S. Floyd COM, share a story during a session on emotional intelligence. He described a night on cal...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 22, 2025 agency autonomy awareness burnout choice connection empowerment engagement fulfillment identity intentionality mindset resilience well-being

Beyond Labels: Story and Reflection

It’s not infrequent that I’m in conversation with a faculty member who’s frustrated with one or two residents they see as lazy or disengaged. Those moments take me right back to how I sometimes felt a decade ago, when I was burned out in my core faculty role. I remember the intensity of that frus...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 22, 2025 barriers burnout connection conversations criticism curiosity data defesiveness drive efficiency energy engagement exhuastion experience feedback frustration gaps growth immersion interviewing labels language learning minset motivation nuance patience perspective procrastination quality rapport reflection remediation repitition resources responsibility safety strengths support trust understanding

Responsibility Revisited: Story and Reflection

We don’t always talk about guilt in medicine unless it’s framed as toxic or as a byproduct of impossible systems. But some guilt is earned. Some of it’s useful. The kind that nudges us when we’ve strayed from our values. And some is not. What follows is a story out of several that came to mine fr...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 08, 2025 adaptation alignment awareness character conscience deicision ethics fatigue growth guilt integrity judgment learning medicine observation reflection residency responsibility self-correction values

Power of Conversation, Story and Invitation

A thoughtful reader recently wrote in and asked me: “How did you build the strong relationships you have with specialists?” At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My brain went to the tactical: referrals, shared patients, thank-yous. (These are still paramount. Doing your due diligence with worku...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 02, 2025 assumptions collaboration communication community connection consistency conversation curiosity empathy engagement fallibility grace gratitude habit humanity initiative intentionality invitation listening mindset overwhelm participation perfectionism presence professionalism reflection relationships respect support trust vulnerability

Right Pause, Right Time Story and Reflection

Years ago, I was leading a medical team in Southeast Asia after the tsunami. Infrastructure was gone, local health workers were either missing or tending to their own communities, and our team, hosted by a local NGO, was running long, hot, and emotionally heavy days. One morning, something was of...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 31, 2025 awareness breath burnout clarity cohesion compassion connection emotion gratitude healing humanity insight intention leadership listening medicine mindfulness observation pause perspective presence purpose recovery reflection resilience restoration support sustainability teamwork wellbeing

Behind the Blame: Story and Reflection

In medicine and academic leadership, change is constant. But the kind we choose feels different than the kind we don’t. Lately, I’ve found myself thinking about what lies beneath the surface when frustration rises. Sometimes what looks like resistance or blame turns out to be something else entir...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 24, 2025 acceptance blame change clarity collaboration conversation frustration grief honesty insight leadership loss mission purpose reality recognition resistance softening transition values

Story and Reflection: What Success Really Looks Like

As a new academic year begins—fresh name badges, new roles, different rhythms—I’ve been returning to a question I first heard from Dr. Kerri Palamara, a national leader in coaching in graduate medical education and Director of the Center for Physician Well-Being at Massachusetts General Hospital....

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 11, 2025 agency alignment aspirations authenticity awareness belonging career clarity coaching compassion connection curiosity fulfillment growth intention meaning navigation pause perspective presence purpose redefinition reflection relationships success transformation values well-being wholeness

Freedom Reflection

As we mark Independence Day, I find myself drawn to a quieter kind of patriotism. Instead of fireworks and fanfare, the steady work of building systems where physicians and learners can thrive. It shows up in faculty who pause long enough to ask better questions. In leaders willing to shift from ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 11, 2025 change coaching compassion connection freedom hope interdependence leadership learning listening patriotism reflection support systemic truth

The Award Not Won: Story and Reflection

It’s that season again. Graduation programs. Thank-you speeches. Awards. A flurry of new titles, public praise, and quiet appreciation. We do this because it matters. Recognition is powerful. Appreciation even more so. But in the messiness of human systems, it doesn’t always land how we intend. I...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 27, 2025 acknowledgment alignment appreciation authenticity belonging care celebration community compassion connection contribution encouragement equity gratitude humanity humility impact inclusion integrity leadership mentorship mindfulness presence process purpose recognition reflection service stewardship support systems values visibility well-being

Mise en Place for the Mind

One of my coachees recently identified the missing link in his project workflow. (Thanks for the metaphor, Michael Caçoilo! - shared with permission.) He had developed the right structure for him: breaking big tasks into smaller chunks and blocking time to get them done. But something still felt ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 21, 2025 awareness clarity coaching connection efficiency engagement execution focus habits insight intentionality leadership metaphor mindset mise-en-place planning pre-work preparation presence productivity professionalism readiness reflection structure time blocking trust workflow

Lessons in the Messy Middle Reflection

“Celebrate the abundance within troubles.” – Will Miller, MD, Annals of Family Medicine, 2010 📸 Thanks to Jay Fetter for the reminder and this powerful slide in Atlanta last week where the year long STFM CBME pilot project wrapped up. The CBME pilot participants showed us what it looks like to le...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 19, 2025 abundance adaptation breakthrough challenge change clarity complexity courage culture curiosity design discovery experimentation failure growth innovation insight leadership learning meaning momentum optimism persistence progress purpose reflection resilience tension transformation uncertainty

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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