Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

In preparing for the AMWA Evolve Leadership Course for trainees session on Difficult Conversations, I've been reflecting on principles from Crucial Conversations, Super Communicators, Non-Violent Communication, and How to Work with Almost Anyone (all highly recommended books). We often fall into ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 awareness balance binary thinking communication compassion complexity conflict resolution contradiction curiosity discernment emotional intelligence empathy fool's choice grace growth honesty kindness labeling mindset nuance overgeneralization paradox perspective polarity thinking reflection relationship self-regulation truth understanding wake

All That Jazz Story and Reflection

I'm going to give away one of the truths that throws people off when I play two truths and a lie. I learned to tap dance and even performed on stage after I was a practicing physician. I know, I know - hard to picture. 😉 My daughter was taking violin lessons in a studio that had just started offe...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 all-or-nothing awkwardness challenge control creativity discomfort encouragement expectations feedback fun growth mindset inspiration learning letting go mastery mindset motivation patience perfectionism performance perseverance personal growth practice reflection reframe resilience role modeling self-awareness self-compassion vulnerability

Winning Reflections

As we close out 2024, I want to point our minds toward the wins. What you learned, what impact you made, how you grew, etc. You all know it's one area I like to be intentional and savor. Last week, my own coach just elevated the process for me by 1. recognizing something I was unknowingly doing a...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 affirmation awareness celebration coaching communication confidence energy feedback growth insight intentionality leadership learning mindset positivity preparation process progress recognition reflection reinforcement repeatability rumination savoring self-awareness shift success sustainability team dynamics widsom

Story and Reflection: Lessons from Strife

During my part of my time as core faculty, I gained many humorous memories and more valuable (even if somewhat unorthodox) lessons. We were a large group (12 in all), and for a short while, the makeup of personalities and dynamics created some unruly situations. Many memorable and laughable lesso...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adaptability agreement collaboration communication conflict consensus culture decision making emotional intelligence emotional regulation facilitation feedback group dynamics humanity humor leadership lessons perspective process productivity psychological safety reflection regulation relationship preservation repetition resolution self-awareness strategy strife systems teamwork yes-and

Reflection: Game Tape

One small aspect of the culture I grew up in centered around College Football. (Stick with me, non-sports fans) As we soon head into the College Football Playoffs, watching Sports Center Game Day with retired coach Nick Saban and former players Des Howard and Kirk Herbstreet is entertaining and i...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adaptation adult learning analysis clinical reasoning coaching cognition decision making execution feedback flexibility growth improvement insight intentionality learning metacognition minfulness non-judgment observation pattern recognition performance practice productivity recognition reflect-in reflect-on reflection rumination self-awareness situatinal awareness

Balancing Reflection

I received two important pieces of advice once while taking an ocean paddle boarding course. I will cover the first of those today and the other in a future reflection. The advice: As soon as you stand upright on the board, put your paddle in the water and start moving. It's like a bike - You wou...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 action adaptability balance burnout commitment courage curiosity decision making experimentation flexbility forward motion growth imperfection learning metaphor momentum movement navigation progress purpose readiness reassessment recovery reflection rejuvenation resilience risk self-leadership timing uncertainty

Best Laid Plans: Story and Reflection

I enjoy it when people expand and contrast the meanings of words. It gives me a better grasp of various approaches. I came across a quote from Sahil Bloom that did just that: "Preparation always beats planning. Planning is based on the expectation of order. Preparation is based on the expectation...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adaptability calm control creativity emotional intelligence engagement evolution expectations flexibility foresight grace humor idealism improvisation leadership learning mindset perspective pivoting planning preparation presence problem solving recovery reflection resilience responsiveness self-regulation teaching uncertainty

Car Problems: Story and Reflection

Shortly after moving to Alaska and starting my core faculty role, I caused a traffic jam. You see, I had pulled onto the busy road in front of the residency and quickly maneuvered across three lanes of traffic to the two packed turn lanes in 5 o'clock traffic. And then --- my car died - just as t...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 awareness boundaries burnout capacity community compassion embarassment energy management gratitude habits humility learning life balance limits metaphor mindset pacing pattern priorities recovery refueling regulation resilience routine self-awareness self-care support teamwork vulnerabiulity warning signs

Reflection: What's Left?

A couple of years ago, at the BE Conference in Scottsdale, speaker and drama researcher, Cy Wakeman demonstrated a tool she called "Edit Your Story" to a room of hundreds of women physicians. She asked for show of hands of who worked with a difficult person on a regular basis. (I snapped the phot...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 agency boundaries choice clarity cognitive shift community compassion decision making detachment drama editing emotional intelligence empowerment facts groundedness interpretation mindset narrative next step ownership perception perspective reaction reality reframing resilience self-awareness self-regulation story editing workplace

The Bicycle Reflection: Teams

Dr Peter Hawkins and Dr Catherine Carr, sought-after leadership developers and creators of Systemic Team Coaching, used an analogy a couple of weeks ago in our Systemic Teams Practicioner Course that has been very useful to me. When discussing both the purpose and impact of teams, he likened them...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 accountability adaptability alignment coaching cohesion collaboration connection context coordination design dynamics function high performance impact integration intentionality interdependence leadership optimization organization purpose relational intelligence relationships structure synergy systemic thinking systems thinking team development teamwork transformation value creation

Polarities Reflection

"I can either run on time, or I can address the patient's needs" "I can either get my work done, or build relationships with the staff." "I can either shirk my responsibilities at work and be there for my family, or I can shirk my responsibilities for my family and be there for work." These are o...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adapatation all-or-nothing balance binary thinking choice collaboration connection creativity curiosity experimentation false dichotomy flexbility growth integration intersection mindset perfectionism perspective polarity prioritization problem solving reflection reframing resourcefulness responsibility scarcity self-awareness tension time-management venn-diagram work life integration

Near Miss Story and Reflection

Many years ago, as a second-year medical student, I stopped by the post office on my way to pathology to mail a certified letter. I had to take a different route than usual - one I knew well because it was my evening route for my study group. It was already 90 degrees with max humidity upon my ar...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adaptation automation awareness behavior change change cognitive load compassion course correction grace growth habit humanity humility intentionality judgment learning memory mindfulness mistake neuropathways neuroplasticity patterning progress reflection resilience rewiring routine self-forgiveness self-regulation

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Stay Connected