Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Keep Digging (And Savor the Moments Along the Way)
Dinner was beautiful. A nice evening, bold flavors, shared stories of challenge & success, and laughter with friends who are in simlar trenches.
The meal came with this quote came tucked in tableware:
“Work. Keep digging your well. Water is there somewhere.”
It stayed with me—not just because it...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
community
connection
depth
digging
effort
endurance
flow
fulfillment
grit
grounding
hope
meaning
nourishment
patience
persistence
presence
process
resilience
savoring
season
stillness
support
uncertainty
waiting
work
Leaders and Legacy Reflection
When physicians or faculty leaders are struggling in their roles—or with certain parts of them—I often ask:
"When you think of a leader you admire, what qualities stand out?"
They usually name things such as integrity. Strength. Clinical wisdom. Courage. Kindness. Collaboration.
And almost always...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
admiration
awareness
balance
boundaries
capacity
choice
clarity
courage
decline
dedication
delegation
discomfort
expansion
growth
impact
influence
integrity
kindness
leaders
leadership
legacy
modeling
possibility
presence
purpose
rolemodeling
streamline
strength
sustainability
tension
wisdom
Confessions of a Former Night Owl: Story and Reflection on Identity, Change, and Quiet Growth
We often resist change when it feels like it threatens who we are. But not all change is self-abandonment.
Not long ago, someone shared that she felt a surprising amount of grief around changing—even when the change was meant to help a relationship work better. Authenticity was a deeply held valu...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
adaptation
adjustment
alignment
authenticity
change
commitment
curiosity
discovery
evolution
flexibility
grief
growth
habits
identity
intention
mindset
motivation
openness
patterns
resistance
selfhood
surprises
transformation
values
willingness
How We Think Shapes What We See: Story and Reflection
When I mentioned last month that I was heading to Las Vegas to see the Eagles play in the Sphere, more than one person responded with a look of surprise, post-Super Bowl: “You’re going to a football game?”
That moment—a simple case of mistaken reference—got me thinking about how our assumptions a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
alignment
assumptions
awareness
beliefs
clarity
coaching
communication
culture
development
dynamics
evaluations
expectations
feedback
frustration
growth
insight
interpretation
mindsets
modeling
perception
reflection
reframing
support
trust
understanding
Purpose at the Crossroads: Story and Reflection
It’s at the crossroads—between opportunity and discernment—that purpose gets tested.
- A resident deciding between a desired fellowship and staying in a community they love that may not utilize that training.
- A faculty member torn between taking on a leadership role or focusing their energy on ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
alignment
authenticity
boundaries
calling
clarity
decision making
discernment
growth
humility
intentionality
leadership
long-term impact
meaning
opportunity
purpose
responsibility
self-awareness
service
sustainability
team based leadership
timing
transition
vocation
well-being
wisdom
Staying Power Reflection
A couple of weeks ago, I had the gift of facilitating a panel discussion with seasoned leaders in academic family medicine — people whose careers span decades, whose influence is immeasurable. I asked them to name a single word or phrase that captured what contributed to their longevity in this w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
belief
calling
creativity
detachment
emotional wisdom
endurance
generativity
hope
imagination
impact
inspiration
leadership
legacy
longevity
meaning
mindset
optimism
purpose
resilience
ripple effect
sustainability
trust
vision
Story and Reflection: Mining for Value
Recently, I noticed that a member of our team had quietly pulled back. I knew she had experience—she’d been introduced as someone who had worked with universities, served as a legislative liaison, and helped stand up GME programs. She had consistently offered thoughtful perspectives, often seeing...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
awareness
confidence
confidence without arrogance
contribution over ego
curiosity
deep listening
dignity
drawing out strengths
experience
experience matters
expertise
hidden
hidden assets
hidden strength
honoring the whole person
humility
inclusive leadership
influence beyond title
invitational leadership
leadership
legacy
listening
mining
mining for gold
presence
quiet contributors
reactivation
recognition
relational leadership
respectul curiosity
storytelling
strength
team awareness
undervalued
undervalued expertise
unseen
unseen wisdom
wisdom
The Extra Mile - Story and Reflection
Recently, I’ve been supporting my mom from afar as she’s gone through a complicated health issue. Like many patients, she didn’t show up with a single neat explanation. She had two separate issues—Occam’s razor didn’t apply. That alone created delays and misdirection, but this story isn’t about w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
bandwidth
care
care over efficiency
clarity
connection
discernment
effort
empathy
experience informed action
family perspective
generosity
going above and beyond
gratitude
groundedness
healing
healing moments
humanity
intention
leadership
meaningful
meaningful effort
medicine
pacing
perspective
physician humanity
presence
prioritization
professionalism
relational medicine
right effort right moment
silent leadership
timing
wisdom
The Power of a Smile: Story and Reflection
During the half-day virtual faculty development workshop that I co-led this past week, one thing stood out to me: my co-presenter, Dr. Rae Wright, was always smiling and actively present. Her smile looked so genuine—like she was truly enjoying hearing me speak and appreciating how I was presentin...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
appreciation
attentiveness
attunement
authenticity
belonging
co-facilitation
confidence
connection
culture
encouragement
encouragement culture
energy transfer
grace
light
micro-affirmation
nonverbal communication
positivity
presence
psychological safety
renewal
small gestures
smile
smile power
support
validation
warmth
zoom fatigue buffer
Residency 2.0 Story and Reflection
As most of you know, though my full-time work is in coaching within residency programs, I’ve stayed clinically active—filling in both at the Alaska Family Medicine Residency and Anchorage Neighborhood Health, our local FQHC.
Since 2007, I’ve had the privilege of watching over 200 residents grow, ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
affirmation
appreciation
belonging
calm
calm contagion
community
connection
continuity
culture
emotional contagion
gratitude
groundedness
healing environment
intentionality
joy in medicine
kindness
leadership
legacy
mentorship
organizational health
ripple effect
role modeling
support
systems thinking
workplace culture
workplace wellbeing
Waves and Wakes: Reflection
Reflections: Paddle-boarding on Waves & Wakes
Last November, I promised part 2 of my paddle-boarding lesson - so here it is. If you’ve ever been paddleboarding in the ocean, you know to expect waves. You bend your knees, stay flexible, and adjust your stance to keep your balance. It’s part of the...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
adaptability
anticipatory grace
balance
clam within chaos
core strength
emotional agility
equanimity
expectation
flexibility
grounding
inner anchor
mindset
non reactivity
perspective shift
postural awareness
preparation
purposeful adjustment
readiness
resilience
self regulation
situational awareness
turbulence
uncertainty navigation
values
values alignment
wake readiness
Story and Reflection: Foundations First
You know my husband and I have taken on quite a few renovation projects over the years. Back in medical school and residency, we bought an old historic home in a neighborhood filled with beautifully restored houses. Of course, we could only afford the fixer-upper.
It was built on piers and had pl...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
baton passing
capacity building
collaboration
collective effort
enduring value
faith in action
foundation
generativity
groundwork
infrastructure
intentional design
investment
legacy
long view
mission aligned
patience
perseverance
purpose driven
ripple impact
rootedness
servant leadership
slow growth
stewardship
structural integrity
systems building
unseen labor
vision
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
