Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

I received two important pieces of advice once while taking an ocean paddle boarding course. I will cover the first of those today and the other in a future reflection. The advice: As soon as you stand upright on the board, put your paddle in the water and start moving. It's like a bike - You wou...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 action adaptability balance burnout commitment courage curiosity decision making experimentation flexbility forward motion growth imperfection learning metaphor momentum movement navigation progress purpose readiness reassessment recovery reflection rejuvenation resilience risk self-leadership timing uncertainty

Best Laid Plans: Story and Reflection

I enjoy it when people expand and contrast the meanings of words. It gives me a better grasp of various approaches. I came across a quote from Sahil Bloom that did just that: "Preparation always beats planning. Planning is based on the expectation of order. Preparation is based on the expectation...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adaptability calm control creativity emotional intelligence engagement evolution expectations flexibility foresight grace humor idealism improvisation leadership learning mindset perspective pivoting planning preparation presence problem solving recovery reflection resilience responsiveness self-regulation teaching uncertainty

Car Problems: Story and Reflection

Shortly after moving to Alaska and starting my core faculty role, I caused a traffic jam. You see, I had pulled onto the busy road in front of the residency and quickly maneuvered across three lanes of traffic to the two packed turn lanes in 5 o'clock traffic. And then --- my car died - just as t...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 awareness boundaries burnout capacity community compassion embarassment energy management gratitude habits humility learning life balance limits metaphor mindset pacing pattern priorities recovery refueling regulation resilience routine self-awareness self-care support teamwork vulnerabiulity warning signs

Reflection: What's Left?

A couple of years ago, at the BE Conference in Scottsdale, speaker and drama researcher, Cy Wakeman demonstrated a tool she called "Edit Your Story" to a room of hundreds of women physicians. She asked for show of hands of who worked with a difficult person on a regular basis. (I snapped the phot...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 agency boundaries choice clarity cognitive shift community compassion decision making detachment drama editing emotional intelligence empowerment facts groundedness interpretation mindset narrative next step ownership perception perspective reaction reality reframing resilience self-awareness self-regulation story editing workplace

The Bicycle Reflection: Teams

Dr Peter Hawkins and Dr Catherine Carr, sought-after leadership developers and creators of Systemic Team Coaching, used an analogy a couple of weeks ago in our Systemic Teams Practicioner Course that has been very useful to me. When discussing both the purpose and impact of teams, he likened them...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 accountability adaptability alignment coaching cohesion collaboration connection context coordination design dynamics function high performance impact integration intentionality interdependence leadership optimization organization purpose relational intelligence relationships structure synergy systemic thinking systems thinking team development teamwork transformation value creation

Polarities Reflection

"I can either run on time, or I can address the patient's needs" "I can either get my work done, or build relationships with the staff." "I can either shirk my responsibilities at work and be there for my family, or I can shirk my responsibilities for my family and be there for work." These are o...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adapatation all-or-nothing balance binary thinking choice collaboration connection creativity curiosity experimentation false dichotomy flexbility growth integration intersection mindset perfectionism perspective polarity prioritization problem solving reflection reframing resourcefulness responsibility scarcity self-awareness tension time-management venn-diagram work life integration

Near Miss Story and Reflection

Many years ago, as a second-year medical student, I stopped by the post office on my way to pathology to mail a certified letter. I had to take a different route than usual - one I knew well because it was my evening route for my study group. It was already 90 degrees with max humidity upon my ar...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adaptation automation awareness behavior change change cognitive load compassion course correction grace growth habit humanity humility intentionality judgment learning memory mindfulness mistake neuropathways neuroplasticity patterning progress reflection resilience rewiring routine self-forgiveness self-regulation

Performance Reflection

I often talk with residents about what I term "performance mode" and how it negatively impacts us. It's that feeling of playing a persona in order to fit the mold, earn praise, and be accepted. We are socialized as we progress through premed and medical school to look for the approval of others -...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 alignment anxiety authenticity autonomy confidence detachment empowerment essence external approval feedback growth identity impact insecurity integrity introspection medical training mindset motivation perception performance mode persona presence reflection resilience self-awareness self-trust self-worth validation worthiness

Twin Perspectives: Story and Reflection

One day a few of years ago, my husband and I started watching Medici - the historical Netflix series set in medieval Italy. The two main brothers looked so much alike during those first two episodes. I kept getting so confused. After asking Mark for the 6th time which brother was speaking, he fin...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 acceptance adjustment attentiveness awareness balance clarity confusion distortion emotional regulation focus humility insight judgment lens mindfulness mindset narrative overwhelm patience perception perspective presence proportion reframe self-awareness self-reflection storytelling strengths values zooming-out

Alaskan Pause: Story and Reflection

One fall, 17 years ago, as I was driving in my new state of Alaska, I was in a bit of a hurry (as was a natural state for me at the time). So you can imagine, I was a bit annoyed when the line of cars in front of me didn't move when the light turned green. The middle lane was empty, so I decided ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adaptability assumptions attentiveness awareness behavioral patterns connection curiosity decision-making empathy growth humor impulse control interpretation learning mindfulness mindset misjudgment patience pausing perspective presence psychological safety reaction reflection restraint safety self-awareness self-regulation surprise understanding

The Dilemma: Story and Reflection

Many of you have heard me tell how being a great wife landed me in Alaska from Florida in 2007. It has been a fantastic decision. I don't often talk about the fears I had. I worried about moving an 8th grader away from good friends and the sunny beach to an unknown, cold, dark place (the story of...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 adaptation adjustment all-or-nothing binary thinking career catastrophizing compromise decision making emotional growth expansion fear flexibility gray-area identity mindset narrative opportunity options overthinking parenting perspective problem solving reframing resilience self-awareness success support transition trust vulnerability

Ziplining Snafu: Story and Reflection

When we explored Alaska with our 13-year-old before our move from Florida 17 years ago, we made sure to make it adventurous for her. We signed up for zip-lining in Ketchikan among the tall Western Hemlocks. I've never been a fan of heights (understatement of the year!), but I was determined. We r...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 action adventure agency behavior choice courage detachment embarassment emotion fear growth identity internalization labeling mindset naming narrative perception personal growth perspective reframing resilience self-awareness self-compassion self-definition self-talk shame transformation validation vulnerability

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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