Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Winning Reflections
As we close out 2024, I want to point our minds toward the wins. What you learned, what impact you made, how you grew, etc. You all know it's one area I like to be intentional and savor.
Last week, my own coach just elevated the process for me by 1. recognizing something I was unknowingly doing a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
affirmation
awareness
celebration
coaching
communication
confidence
energy
feedback
growth
insight
intentionality
leadership
learning
mindset
positivity
preparation
process
progress
recognition
reflection
reinforcement
repeatability
rumination
savoring
self-awareness
shift
success
sustainability
team dynamics
widsom
Story and Reflection: Lessons from Strife
During my part of my time as core faculty, I gained many humorous memories and more valuable (even if somewhat unorthodox) lessons. We were a large group (12 in all), and for a short while, the makeup of personalities and dynamics created some unruly situations. Many memorable and laughable lesso...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
adaptability
agreement
collaboration
communication
conflict
consensus
culture
decision making
emotional intelligence
emotional regulation
facilitation
feedback
group dynamics
humanity
humor
leadership
lessons
perspective
process
productivity
psychological safety
reflection
regulation
relationship preservation
repetition
resolution
self-awareness
strategy
strife
systems
teamwork
yes-and
Reflection: Game Tape
One small aspect of the culture I grew up in centered around College Football. (Stick with me, non-sports fans) As we soon head into the College Football Playoffs, watching Sports Center Game Day with retired coach Nick Saban and former players Des Howard and Kirk Herbstreet is entertaining and i...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
adaptation
adult learning
analysis
clinical reasoning
coaching
cognition
decision making
execution
feedback
flexibility
growth
improvement
insight
intentionality
learning
metacognition
minfulness
non-judgment
observation
pattern recognition
performance
practice
productivity
recognition
reflect-in
reflect-on
reflection
rumination
self-awareness
situatinal awareness
Balancing Reflection
I received two important pieces of advice once while taking an ocean paddle boarding course. I will cover the first of those today and the other in a future reflection.
The advice: As soon as you stand upright on the board, put your paddle in the water and start moving. It's like a bike - You wou...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
action
adaptability
balance
burnout
commitment
courage
curiosity
decision making
experimentation
flexbility
forward motion
growth
imperfection
learning
metaphor
momentum
movement
navigation
progress
purpose
readiness
reassessment
recovery
reflection
rejuvenation
resilience
risk
self-leadership
timing
uncertainty
Best Laid Plans: Story and Reflection
I enjoy it when people expand and contrast the meanings of words. It gives me a better grasp of various approaches. I came across a quote from Sahil Bloom that did just that:
"Preparation always beats planning. Planning is based on the expectation of order. Preparation is based on the expectation...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
adaptability
calm
control
creativity
emotional intelligence
engagement
evolution
expectations
flexibility
foresight
grace
humor
idealism
improvisation
leadership
learning
mindset
perspective
pivoting
planning
preparation
presence
problem solving
recovery
reflection
resilience
responsiveness
self-regulation
teaching
uncertainty
Car Problems: Story and Reflection
Shortly after moving to Alaska and starting my core faculty role, I caused a traffic jam. You see, I had pulled onto the busy road in front of the residency and quickly maneuvered across three lanes of traffic to the two packed turn lanes in 5 o'clock traffic.
And then --- my car died - just as t...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
awareness
boundaries
burnout
capacity
community
compassion
embarassment
energy management
gratitude
habits
humility
learning
life balance
limits
metaphor
mindset
pacing
pattern
priorities
recovery
refueling
regulation
resilience
routine
self-awareness
self-care
support
teamwork
vulnerabiulity
warning signs
Reflection: What's Left?
A couple of years ago, at the BE Conference in Scottsdale, speaker and drama researcher, Cy Wakeman demonstrated a tool she called "Edit Your Story" to a room of hundreds of women physicians. She asked for show of hands of who worked with a difficult person on a regular basis. (I snapped the phot...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
agency
boundaries
choice
clarity
cognitive shift
community
compassion
decision making
detachment
drama
editing
emotional intelligence
empowerment
facts
groundedness
interpretation
mindset
narrative
next step
ownership
perception
perspective
reaction
reality
reframing
resilience
self-awareness
self-regulation
story editing
workplace
The Bicycle Reflection: Teams
Dr Peter Hawkins and Dr Catherine Carr, sought-after leadership developers and creators of Systemic Team Coaching, used an analogy a couple of weeks ago in our Systemic Teams Practicioner Course that has been very useful to me.
When discussing both the purpose and impact of teams, he likened them...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
accountability
adaptability
alignment
coaching
cohesion
collaboration
connection
context
coordination
design
dynamics
function
high performance
impact
integration
intentionality
interdependence
leadership
optimization
organization
purpose
relational intelligence
relationships
structure
synergy
systemic thinking
systems thinking
team development
teamwork
transformation
value creation
Polarities Reflection
"I can either run on time, or I can address the patient's needs"
"I can either get my work done, or build relationships with the staff."
"I can either shirk my responsibilities at work and be there for my family, or I can shirk my responsibilities for my family and be there for work."
These are o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
adapatation
all-or-nothing
balance
binary thinking
choice
collaboration
connection
creativity
curiosity
experimentation
false dichotomy
flexbility
growth
integration
intersection
mindset
perfectionism
perspective
polarity
prioritization
problem solving
reflection
reframing
resourcefulness
responsibility
scarcity
self-awareness
tension
time-management
venn-diagram
work life integration
Near Miss Story and Reflection
Many years ago, as a second-year medical student, I stopped by the post office on my way to pathology to mail a certified letter. I had to take a different route than usual - one I knew well because it was my evening route for my study group. It was already 90 degrees with max humidity upon my ar...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
adaptation
automation
awareness
behavior change
change
cognitive load
compassion
course correction
grace
growth
habit
humanity
humility
intentionality
judgment
learning
memory
mindfulness
mistake
neuropathways
neuroplasticity
patterning
progress
reflection
resilience
rewiring
routine
self-forgiveness
self-regulation
Performance Reflection
I often talk with residents about what I term "performance mode" and how it negatively impacts us. It's that feeling of playing a persona in order to fit the mold, earn praise, and be accepted.
We are socialized as we progress through premed and medical school to look for the approval of others -...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
alignment
anxiety
authenticity
autonomy
confidence
detachment
empowerment
essence
external approval
feedback
growth
identity
impact
insecurity
integrity
introspection
medical training
mindset
motivation
perception
performance mode
persona
presence
reflection
resilience
self-awareness
self-trust
self-worth
validation
worthiness
Twin Perspectives: Story and Reflection
One day a few of years ago, my husband and I started watching Medici - the historical Netflix series set in medieval Italy. The two main brothers looked so much alike during those first two episodes. I kept getting so confused.
After asking Mark for the 6th time which brother was speaking, he fin...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
acceptance
adjustment
attentiveness
awareness
balance
clarity
confusion
distortion
emotional regulation
focus
humility
insight
judgment
lens
mindfulness
mindset
narrative
overwhelm
patience
perception
perspective
presence
proportion
reframe
self-awareness
self-reflection
storytelling
strengths
values
zooming-out
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
