Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Costly Lunch Laughs, Story and Reflection
Back in 2003, I was with four friends in Germany. We ducked into a diner for lunch. The two guys were just hilarious. Their dry sense of humor and perfect timing had us laughing so hard we could barely catch our breaths - literally for my friend Cheryl. 😳
She inhaled food upon laughing, and then ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
action
adrenaline
amygdala
bravery
compassion
courage
decision making
discomfort
doubt
fear
freeze response
growth
hesitation
humor
inner conflict
instinct
intuition
knowing
leadership
ownership
paradox
presene
pressure
reaction
reflection
rescue
responsibility
self-trust
urgency
vulnerability
Anniversaries and Analogies Reflection
Just prior to marrying the man in this photo (throwback to big hair 😂), his dad handed us an article torn out of a magazine. It used comparative imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage. The takeaway gist in my young mind was 1. Don't be shocked by the rapids, which are a natura...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
celebration
challenge
change
curiosity
emotions
endurance
evolution
forewarning
growth
imposter syndrome
journey
marriage
metaphor
mindset
navigation
partnership
perspective
phases
preparation
reflection
relationships
resilience
self-doubt
support
transformation
transition
uncertainty
whitewater
What's Missing Reflection
You know those times when two clothing items randomly end up next to each other in the laundry, and you see a new outfit? No, just me?
Well, anyway, I had a similar thing happen as three situations juxtaposed together to open up my thinking. The first one involved a couple of group sessions in w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
automatic thoughts
awareness
bias
circumstance
clarity
coaching
confidence
distortion
empowerment
evidence
facts
filtering
insight
internal dialogue
juxtaposition
mindset
minset shift
narrative
perception
positivity
reflection
reframing
self-perception
self-talk
self-worth
storylines
thought distortions
truth telling
validation
value
Laughs and Confidence, Story and Reflection
I was recently discussing confidence in the lecture setting with a few faculty physicians, and it brought up some memories.
One of the first didactics I taught as a new faculty member was 9 years out of residency. (Actual photo around that time of me as new faculty, 2007-2008 above.) I was presen...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
adaptability
authenticity
confidence
connection
courage
credibility
didactic
education
expertise
growth mindset
humility
humor
identity
imperfection
imposter-phenomenon
insecurity
learning
mentorship
partnership
presence
presentation
reflection
relatability
resilience
self-acceptance
support
teaching
teamwork
transparency
vulnerability
Navigation Story and Reflection
Years ago, my young nephew was carpooling to school with us in my new Honda Odyssey minivan that had my first navigation system. From the captain chair behind me, he exclaimed, "Oh COOL Aunt Tonya! You have a force field?!" It took me a minute to realize he was talking about my dashboard location...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
amygdala
analogy
boundaries
calm
childhood
control
countertransference
curiosity
detachment
emotions
empathy
forcefield
humor
imagination
inner-peace
mindset
narrative
navigation
perspective
protection
reaction
reflection
reframe
regulation
resilience
road-rage
self-awareness
triggers
understanding
visualization
wonder
Runners Mindset: Story and Reflection
I took training very seriously for my first 1/2 marathon (the Mayor's half in Anchorage) back in 2016. My friend Lana (wearing the blue tank) was a seasoned runner who thought my schedule was overly structured and intense. She'd run several halves and a few marathons. Still, I insisted, that we s...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
accountability
assumptions
comparison
discipline
encouragement
endurance
frustration
half-marathon
inspiration
intensity
intention
mindset
miscommunication
misunderstanding
motivation
overthinking
partnership
perception
persistence
perspective
positivity
research
resilience
self-doubt
setback
stamina
structure
success
support
teamwork
training
The Snapshot: Story and Reflection
One day around 30 years ago or so, my husband, a 3rd year medical student had the weekend off and I, a 2nd year, had no upcoming exams. So, we drove an hour to visit family. We, including our 4 year old, wanted to show off how our newborn had grown.
I had taken a whopping 1-week off for maternity...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
balance
belonging
clarity
connection
default-mode
family
gratitude
intention
joy
legacy
meaning
memory
mindfulness
perspective
presence
purpose
reflection
simplicity
values
Unconventional, Story and Reflection
Many of you know that my husband and I had our kids during training. It was most definitely not common in the 90's to do so, especially with both of us in medical school and residency. But, hey, we embraced the unconventional.
Our girls learned to march to their own tunes as well. Especially the ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
adaptability
confidence
courage
creativity
curiosity
experimentation
fearlessness
growth
humor
innovation
inspiration
nourishment
parenthood
possibility
redesign
resilience
risk-taking
support
training
unconventional
Boundaries and Antics, Story and Reflection
Many of you know I recommend Brave Boundaries, a book by Dr. Sasha Shillcutt. After she co-hosted a group session for residents and faculty last year, I saw Aardvark (that's our pet-name for our older style Roomba vacuum) and his virtual barrier shown in the photo in a new light. That little cont...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
awareness
boundaries
consequences
experience
growth
humor
instinct
intuition
judgment
learning
planning
protection
reflection
reflex
resilience
risk
safety
self-preservation
vulnerability
wisdom
Synergy - Story and Reflection
After residency training, my first job was back in my hometown. My dad, also a family doc, worked in the same healthcare system but in a different office - until his office was closed and he moved into mine. We actually shared a patient care hallway for a couple of years.
We had vastly different ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
appreciation
collaboration
complementarity
confidence
contribution
experience
family
growth
humility
knowledge
legacy
mentorship
perspective
respect
self-doubt
style
synergy
teamwork
value
wisdom
When the Jacket Fits, Story and Reflection
Once upon a time, as core faculty with various leadership roles, I was unexpectedly summoned to meet with the program director. He said he wanted to discuss my attitude with me. "MY attitude??!!" I thought. I was busting my tail to make the program better. What could possibly be wrong with my att...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
attitude
awareness
blindspots
burnout
change
coaching
collaboration
communication
courage
criticism
ego
emotional intelligence
feedback
growth
humility
insight
leadership
mindset
ownership
partnership
recalibration
recovery
reflection
self-reflection
Spring Outside Story and Reflection
On March 6, my husband said - let's run tomorrow night. Our local running store offers unofficial community runs each week. Normally, I'm the least spontaneous person I know - maybe it was his enthusiasm or the sun shining through my Alaskan window. I was like, "Let's do it!"
It was a fabulous ru...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
adaptation
appreciation
awareness
change
community
gratitude
growth
hope
humor
identity
joy
light
optimism
perspective
privilege
reflection
reframing
resilience
seasons
spontaneity
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
