Meet the Coach Testimonials Physician Growth Framework Self-Coaching Program Resource Hub
← Back to all posts

Reflection: Between the Gates

by Dr. Tonya Caylor
Oct 10, 2025

On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me.

For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to another, the water levels are rarely the same. The lock closes on both ends, and the water is raised or lowered using the slow force of gravity until things are level. Only then do the gates open and the ship moves forward. Skip that pause, and the ship would be tossed in turbulent waters at risk of damage or even capsizing.

It’s a striking analogy for us in medicine. We’re often trying to get so many things done that we move immediately from one environment to the next: home to work, work to home, clinic to teaching, hospital to clinic. We expect ourselves to switch roles instantly, without giving time for the waters to level out.

I see this in coaching and in medicine all the time. Faculty feel the stress of immediately being “on” parental duty, or having a partner want needing help with home logistics and life issues as soon as they arrive home; or being pulled into troubleshooting by MAs or program staff the second they walk into the residency.

That’s where this metaphor helps. It gives language to the experience and a way to name what’s needed: a “lock-through.” The chance ask for what's needed, set boundaries, and pause.

For some, that looks like coming in early, making tea, opening the computer, and reviewing the day before it officially starts. For one resident, it was taking the long way home along the coast so she could arrive ready to be present. For another attending, it meant setting the expectation at home: “I’m going to shower first, and then I’ll be all yours.” (That shower - the first unrushed moment of the day).

These moments don’t have to be long, sometimes five minutes and a breath are enough. But they allow us to lock through, level up or down, and then be fully ready to engage and be more present.

In the middle of the gates, the ship isn’t moving forward yet. But the pause is what makes the next leg possible.

Reflection: Where might you, or those you lead, need a lock-through moment before moving on to what’s next? What would change if you saw these moments as important as the next role itself?

Responses

Join the conversation
t("newsletters.loading")
Loading...
Team Culture: Boundaries, Generosity, and Trust
For me, Fall is closely associated with sports. College football, one of the primary ones, but also volleyball after years of being a volleyball mom.   I have a few friends who find sports a bit pedestrian, too focused on competition, and something they’ve never really understood the appeal of. I sometimes wonder if they miss what I love about them.   To me, sports are this remarkable microenvi...
Brads Over Lectures
When our youngest daughter was about four, she was watching my husband rescreen a door. She stood there studying what he was doing and asked, “What’s that, Dad? Are you putting in brads, Dad?” I remember thinking, What’s a brad? She knew because she had spent a lot of time following her dad around while he built, fixed, repaired, and figured things out. He didn’t sit our daughters down for form...
Acting Out of Character
A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee. With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort. Now she is facing situations in which being heard may require her to present herself and her ideas differently. She ...

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Footer Logo
Terms Privacy Disclaimer Contact us Login Personal Code of Ethics
Powered by Kajabi

Stay Connected


Join my mailing list to receive free weekly tips and insights!