Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: reflection

Showing 12 results:

I was recently talking with a leader who had navigated a complex, high-stakes situation. We discussed the stress she had experienced. I asked if in the midst of it, she had also felt energized by the challenge. I saw a little twinkle in her eye as she said, “a little.” And so, no surprise, that g...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 30, 2026 adaptability adrenaline appraisal awareness capacity challenge challenge response cognitive flexbility cohesion collaboration complexity confidence coping cortisol crisis decision making dhea discomfort dopamine education emotional intelligence empowerment engagement fight or flight figureoutable flexbility fulfillment growth healthcare leadership leadership development learning medicine mentoring mindset motivation neuroscience perception performance physiology pressure prioritization problem-solving psychology recovery reflection reframing residency resilience resourcefulness satisfaction strategy stress stress management teaching teamwork thriving uncertainty

Asking a Better Question

One of the most powerful things we can learn is that the way we think about a situation shapes how we experience it. The facts of a situation may be outside our control. (Other people certainly are.) But between what happens and how we respond, our brains are busy making meaning – it automaticall...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 23, 2026 acceptance accountability adaptability agency authenticity behavior beliefs change coaching communication confidence courage curiosity emotional intelligence emotions empathy empowerments graciousness growth identity influence intention judgment leadership mindfulness mindset personal growth perspective processing professionalism purpose reflection relationships resilience response self-awareness self-development self-judgment thoughts transformation values

Called Up

Not too long ago, I was coaching a resident who had been struggling. Over the course of our work together, we unpacked a lot. On the last session, she said something that I will carry forward from here on out. When I asked what she was taking away from our coaching, she told me she had remembered...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 16, 2026 accountability advocacy behavior belief change coaching compassion confidence development emotional intelligence empathy empowerment encouragement expectations faculty development feedback growith mindset growth human potential identity kindness leadership leadership coaching leadership development learning medical education mentoring mentorship mindset opportunity patience personal growth perspective possibiity potential professional growth professionalism psychological safety reflection relationships resident coaching resilience self-awareness self-compassion servant leadership strengths transformation trust understanding

Part Two: Damage and Discovery

Among the casualties of our move was a beautiful glass hourglass that normally sits on my desk. It was a small, beautiful thing, given to me by a friend and doing exactly what it was supposed to do – beautifully measure time. I think it's great comedic timing that the (now shattered) hourglass sh...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 09, 2026 acceptance adaptability aftermath balance caregiving challenges change chaos collaboration community construction damage delegation discovery disruption endurance exhaustion family flexibility gratitude healing imperfection leadership life logistics moving opportunity organization overwhelm patience perseverance perspective planning preparation priorities productivity recovery reflection relocation resilience setbacks stress support teamwor time trtansition uncertainty work

Preparing for Storms, Part 1

I’m writing this on Tuesday morning, September 22, before the storm hits. To be clear, the actual weather here in Central Washington is supposed to be pretty perfect. I mean all the things. Tuesday night: Husband arrives from Alaska. Furniture moving and construction-site Tetris begins. Wednesday...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 02, 2026 acceptance adaptability change chaos construction control courage endurance expectations faith family flexibility furniture growth home hope hurricane imperfection letting-go moving overwhelm patience perseverance perspective planning plywood preparation preparedness priorities readiness reality reflection relocation resilience resourcefulness responsibility storms supplkies surrender transition trust uncertainty unpacking vulnerability

Where Does the Time Go?

Monday was one of those days: meeting after meeting after meeting after meeting. Seriously. Plus no space between them. One room to another, to virtual, back to the other room. No space to do a quick prep review before any but the first. There was no time to process what we'd just discussed, thin...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 25, 2026 access administration appointments boundaries burnout calendars capacity care coordination complexity documentation efficiency follow-up fte healthcare healthcare systems inbox leadership medicine meetings messaging patient care physician wellbeing physicians preparation primary care productivity reflection resilience resources scheduling staffing sustainability systems change teamwork technology time transition work-life balance workflow workload

Brads Over Lectures

When our youngest daughter was about four, she was watching my husband rescreen a door. She stood there studying what he was doing and asked, “What’s that, Dad? Are you putting in brads, Dad?” I remember thinking, What’s a brad? She knew because she had spent a lot of time following her dad aroun...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 11, 2026 adaptability apprenticeship coaching collaboration confidence creativity curiosity development discovery education engagement experience exploration figureoutable gme growth healthcare independence initiative inquiry leadership learning learning by doing medicine mentorship modeling observation parenting persistence physicians practice problem solving reflection residency resilience resourcefulness teaching training

Acting Out of Character

A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee. With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort. Now she is facin...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 04, 2026 adaptability adaptation alignment authentic leadership authenticity awareness behavior boundaries coaching communicaiton communication style confidence congruence connection courage development emotional awareness emotional intelligence expression extroversion fulfillment growth identity influence integrity interpersonal introversion leadership motivation performance personal growth personality presence psychology purpose purposefulness reflection relationships renewal resilience restoration self-abandonment self-acceptance self-awareness self-expression teaching temperament values vulnerability wellbeing

Caring Enough to Tell the Truth

I’ve been reflecting on a situation someone close to me recently faced in her work as a consultant. She was brought into a high-stakes situation by her boss, who had asked her to help a close friend. The friend believed that other people involved in an important transition were the problem. Her a...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 28, 2026 accountability advocacy boundaries candor care clinicians coaching communication compassion conflict courage development dignity education empathy evaluation expectations faculty fairness feedback growth healthcare honesty integrity leadership learning medicine mentorship patient care performance professionalism reflection relationships remediation residency residents responsibility standards supervision support teaching transparency trust truth

When an Unexpected Next Step is the Right One

When I began telling people I was considering becoming the Founding Program Director of a new family medicine residency in rural Eastern Washington, the responses were not exactly subtle. “Are you nuts?” “Do you need me to say WTF, Tonya?!” And, perhaps most thoughtfully: “This doesn’t seem align...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 19, 2026 access accreditation alignment building calling career change coaching collaboration commitment community courage culture curriculum decisions development discernment education faculty family gme growth healthcare impact innovation intention leadership medicine mentorship mission moses lake opportunity physicians primary care purpose reflection residency residents resilience rural samaritan service sustainability systems teaching teams throughline training transformation transition trust washington workforce wsu wwami

Friendships on Purpose

I’m writing from my kitchen counter, sitting on one of the few things not making the journey to Washington: our kitchen stools. Behind me, three people are wrapping and taping up nearly everything we own. They start loading the truck tomorrow. We are down to one drawer, one cabinet, one coffee ma...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 14, 2026 #bemyfriend alaska anchorage authenticity ballard belonging community companionship conference connection courage encouragement friendship friendship building girdwood gratitude intentionality invitation kindness medicine memories mentorship moving networking physicians presence purpose reflection relationships relocation resilience retirement reunion storyslam storytelling support transition vulnerability washington wellbeing women

Planning the Unpredictable

As my move out of Alaska gets closer, I find myself increasingly reflective. There is something to the saying that life is what happens while we’re making plans. Nineteen years ago, I finally gave in to my husband’s persistent suggestion that we go “look” at Alaska. We stepped off the plane, fel...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 07, 2026 adventure alaska belonging change clarity community decisions faith family family medicine grandchildren gratitude growth home journey legacy moving next chapter northwest planning priorities purpose reflection residency resilience retirement transition vision washington wenatchee

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: reflection

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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