Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: perspective

Showing 12 results:

Mindset I always spend a lot of time on mindset. It is foundational and under-discussed. However, if we only change mindset without also learning strategies and new tools, many things will stay the same. For instance, you may have a whole new outlook on your inbox. But if you want to improve comm...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 27, 2026 accountability alignment assertiveness awareness boundaries burnout clarity cognitive load communication compassion conflict decision making development efficiency emotional intelligence empowerment energy management execution feedback focus growth intentionality kindness leadership mindset ownership perspective prevention prioritization proactivity processes productivity professionalism psychological safety reactivity reflection relationships repair resilience respect response sbar self-efficacy self-leadership self-regulation strategy structure systems triage

Marine Survival Weekend (From the Archives)

As a faculty member of the Alaska Family Medicine Residency program, I had my share of teaching during our infamous Wilderness Medicine Weekend excursion. In January, it involved snow cave construction, and in May, it involved marine safety. The first spring, I participated with 2 other faculty m...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 23, 2026 accountability adaptability alaska awareness education embarassment experience growth humility insight leadership learning medicine mentorship perspective professionalism reflection reframing residency resilience responsibility safety teaching teamwork trust wilderness wisdom

Same Game, Different Frame

Two men played chess a few evenings near the main path before dinner. It was entertaining to pass by and see them deep in strategic concentration. One night, two photos were taken about twenty minutes apart from different angles. In the first, the light, sky, and ocean make it feel expansive. So ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 21, 2026 aperture awareness chess contrast curiosity discourse empathy flexibility framing gratitude growth humility insight interpretation leadership lens light love medicine metaphor mindfulness mindset narrative perception perspective presence psychology reflection relationships strategy vantage

Beauty and Belonging Discovered After Change (From the Archives)

When we moved from Florida to Alaska in 2007, it wasn't necessarily a big hit with our teenage girls. My oldest moved off to college saying she would visit us but she wasn't "moving out of the country." My youngest, was about to start 8th grade and had strong opinions about leaving her friends an...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 18, 2026 acceptance adaptation adolescence alaska awareness beauty belonging change community discovery family gratitude growth home identity impermanence intentin joy mindfulness nature perspective presence refleciton reflection resilience transformation transition

Story and Reflection: By the Book

A lighter note for today. I thought it’d be fun to share a story about what happens when my rule-follower tendencies show up at the exact moment my plan stops matching reality. Not too long ago, while traveling with multiple stops, airline changes, and short layovers, I was determined to fit ever...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jan 28, 2026 acceptance adaptability control determination flexibility frustration humility humor improvisation mindfulness partnership patience perseverance perspective planning problem-solving reflection resilience rules travel

When Influence Stops Influencing

Every physician leader I coach eventually reaches the same moment. They’ve done the work: gathered data, built coalitions, shared meaningful stories, aligned it to the core corporate values, used every bit of their Crucial Conversations skill set, emotionally intelligenced the nuances, and framed...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 10, 2025 acceptance agency alignment boundaries burnout change clarity coalition community connection discernment energy exhaustion frustration influence integrity leadership mentorship metrics perspective process purpose reality reflection regulation resistance strategy systems values

Grateful for Rejection? A Post-Thanksgiving Reflection

If you’re feeling maxed out on gratitude messages this month, you’re not alone. The day after Thanksgiving tends to expose the gap between the gratitude we’re “supposed” to feel and how our brains actually work. That gap is where the science gets interesting. So instead of another round of holida...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 10, 2025 acceptance awareness bias burnout clarity disappointment ego gratitude growth happiness insight mindfulness mindset mood negativity perspective positivity psychology purpose reflection reframing resilience sleep stress

When Effort Feels Right

A couple of weeks ago, my friend, colleague, and physician advocate Dr. Sasha Shillcutt wrote something that grabbed my attention: “Can we all stop shaming women who work hard?” It resonated. The pendulum has needed to swing toward rest and boundaries for a long time. We’ve finally begun to norma...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 14, 2025 agency alignment autonomy awareness balance boundaries burnout choice clarity compassion curiosity discipline effort energy expectations flow fulfillment inquiry insight intention judgment mindfulness obligation overload passion people pleasing perfectionism perspective priorities purpose recovery reflection reset rest self-care shame signals support sustainability tells validation wellbeing work

Ask Responsibly

I was thinking recently about how agreeable my AI assistant, Scribbs, is with me. He’s great at coming up with answers in the direction I point him - quick to confirm, validate, or spot what might be off. It’s a lot like those friends we turn to when we just want someone to agree with us. But I’v...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 ai alignment assumption awareness bias clarity confirmation connection course-correction criticism curiosity detective dialogue direction excitement exploration feedback growth guidance humility impulsivity inquiry insight intention judgment learning listening meaning-making mindset mirror oversight perspective purpose questions reflection reframing relevance self-talk

When Justice Meets the Judge

The shadow side of good values in medicine... I’ve learned that even good values have edges. Justice, for me, especially. We talk a lot about values in medicine: integrity, compassion, excellence, justice. But I’ve learned that even our best values have a "shadow side". Sometimes, even justice ne...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 alignment awareness balance boundaries burnout clarity compassion control criticism discernment distortion ego evolution excellence faith grace humanity humility imbalance integrity judge judgment justice learning martyrdom outrage perfectionism perspective proportion reflection responsibility rigidity self-justification

Reflection: Between the Gates

On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me. For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 10, 2025 adaptation adjustment alignment attention awareness balance boundaries calm centering compassion connection energy equilibrium flow focus grace grounding humanity integration intention leadership mindfulness patience pause perspective preparation presence recovery reflection regulation renewal reset resilience restoration rhythm self-awareness space stillness sustainability transition

A Ditch on Each Side of the Road (and How to Avoid Them)

Leadership often feels like driving a narrow road. You’re trying to keep the vehicle moving forward, but there’s a ditch on each side that can take you out if you drift too far. Recently I had the chance to moderate an STFM GME Leadership Panel with three seasoned leaders in academic medicine — D...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 10, 2025 accountability balance boundaries burnout collaboration communication creativity delegation development discipline efficiency empowerment engagement feedback focus growth leadership longevity mentoship mindset organization oversight perspective prioritization reflection resilience skillset strategy structure support sustainability time transparency vision

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: perspective

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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