Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.” We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched. We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest. We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all. ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 07, 2025 acceptance adjustment agency alignment awareness balance boundaries boundedness caring clarity compassion connection courage deliberation disappointment discernment equanimity ethics harmony integrity intentionality leadership navigation polarity presence prioritization reflection resilience responsibility restraint self-care tension

Endurance, Recovery, and Trust: What Medicine Can Learn from an Ironman

I logged 24,000 steps a couple of weeks ago, not competing, just spectating. Cheering at an Ironman turned out to be its own endurance event! Somewhere between the cowbells and the cheers, I found myself thinking about what it really takes to sustain that kind of effort. Not just on race day and ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 07, 2025 adaptability adaptation awareness balance discipline effort endurance flow focus integration microbreaks momentum patience persistence preparation presence process recovery recovery load reflection resilience restraint savoring threshold training trust

Ask Responsibly

I was thinking recently about how agreeable my AI assistant, Scribbs, is with me. He’s great at coming up with answers in the direction I point him - quick to confirm, validate, or spot what might be off. It’s a lot like those friends we turn to when we just want someone to agree with us. But I’v...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 ai alignment assumption awareness bias clarity confirmation connection course-correction criticism curiosity detective dialogue direction excitement exploration feedback growth guidance humility impulsivity inquiry insight intention judgment learning listening meaning-making mindset mirror oversight perspective purpose questions reflection reframing relevance self-talk

When Justice Meets the Judge

The shadow side of good values in medicine... I’ve learned that even good values have edges. Justice, for me, especially. We talk a lot about values in medicine: integrity, compassion, excellence, justice. But I’ve learned that even our best values have a "shadow side". Sometimes, even justice ne...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 alignment awareness balance boundaries burnout clarity compassion control criticism discernment distortion ego evolution excellence faith grace humanity humility imbalance integrity judge judgment justice learning martyrdom outrage perfectionism perspective proportion reflection responsibility rigidity self-justification

Reflection: Between the Gates

On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me. For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 10, 2025 adaptation adjustment alignment attention awareness balance boundaries calm centering compassion connection energy equilibrium flow focus grace grounding humanity integration intention leadership mindfulness patience pause perspective preparation presence recovery reflection regulation renewal reset resilience restoration rhythm self-awareness space stillness sustainability transition

A Ditch on Each Side of the Road (and How to Avoid Them)

Leadership often feels like driving a narrow road. You’re trying to keep the vehicle moving forward, but there’s a ditch on each side that can take you out if you drift too far. Recently I had the chance to moderate an STFM GME Leadership Panel with three seasoned leaders in academic medicine — D...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 10, 2025 accountability balance boundaries burnout collaboration communication creativity delegation development discipline efficiency empowerment engagement feedback focus growth leadership longevity mentoship mindset organization oversight perspective prioritization reflection resilience skillset strategy structure support sustainability time transparency vision

Story and Reflection: What Story are You Telling?

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk The Danger of a Single Story is one of my all-time favorites. She warns how a narrow narrative can distort the way we see people, cultures, even whole countries. But the danger of a single story doesn’t stop there. It shows up in how we see ourselves. The Singl...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 28, 2025 advocacy belonging coaching confidence doubt event evidence growth humility identity judgment lens meaning medicine narrative perception perspective proof reassurance reflection resident retelling story strengths stress supervisor

Structure Creates Culture: Lessons from Launching the Alaska GME Council

Culture doesn’t just “happen.” It’s shaped — often by the structures we choose. That was clear to me during the recent launch of the Alaska GME Council, a 3½-hour sprint where structure set the tone for team identity, purpose, and action. (And yes, it also showed up in my sleep — a classic sign o...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 28, 2025 action adoption agreements authenticity charter connection coordination culture decision-making design energy engagement foundation funding identity layout leadership meeting officers outcomes ownership principles priorities purpose reflection structure subcommittees team vision voice

Quiet Quitting, Nike’s Reframe, and the Real Risk in Medicine

Quiet quitting is no longer just a workplace buzzword. A new study in Family Medicine described how residency leaders are seeing disengagement, professionalism concerns, and strategic “time protection” among trainees. The authors traced this disengagement back to multiple causes: generational shi...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 13, 2025 burnout challenges collaboration commitment communication cringe culture discernment disengagement education efficiency effort faculty frustration generations growth mentorship motivation patient care professionalism quiet quitting rebranding reflection residency selectivity sustainability systemic pressures time protection trainees trust work values workplace

The Farmer's Table: Rethinking Stewardship in Medicine

When we talk about stewardship in medicine, it usually means handling precious resources wisely: Blood bank stewardship (don’t squander that O-negative so it’s there in a crisis) Antibiotic stewardship (use the narrowest spectrum possible, so we don’t fuel resistance) Resource stewardship (choo...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 12, 2025 balance boundaries burnout care clinic costs efficiency generosity inboxes listening medicine notes patients reflection resources shortages stewardship strain sustainability time tradeoffs well-being workforce

Not Everyone Gets a Seat at Your Table

In clinical & academic medicine, and in leadership, “they” shows up a lot. They’ll think I’m a joke. They can tell I don’t belong. They are totally judging me. But here’s the problem: “they” rarely has a face. A faceless crowd gets invited to our mental table of influence, and suddenly we’re serv...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 29, 2025 academia boundaries clarity colleagues comparison critics crowd decisions discernment doubt energy fear feedback growth influence judgment leaders leadership medicine overgeneralization perspective power reflection resilience source table voices worth

The Power of a Pen: Story and Reflection

Sometimes autonomy doesn’t start with a policy change or a big career decision. Sometimes it starts with… a pen. Last week, I listened to Dr. Jeff Haney, Vice Dean for Clinical Affairs at WSU Elson S. Floyd COM, share a story during a session on emotional intelligence. He described a night on cal...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 22, 2025 agency autonomy awareness burnout choice connection empowerment engagement fulfillment identity intentionality mindset resilience well-being

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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