Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Broadening the Differential: A Lesson in Agile Thinking

I've been spending time with colleagues lately exploring the concept of agility in the research literature. And as a result, I keep finding the need for it everywhere. This week alone, our house build presented a wiring issue that no longer aligned with the original lighting and door-swing plans ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2026 adaptability adaptation advocacy agility anchoring assumptions awareness bias caregiving change chaos clinical thinking collaboration communication complexity contingency curiosity decision making diagnosis efficiency execution family flexibility growth home building humility insight judgment leadership learning logistics medicine openness perspective perspective shift planning prioritization problem solving realignment reassessment recalibration reconsideration reflection reframing resilience responsiveness rethinking structure systems truth seeking uncertainty

Cognitive Dissonance (From the Archives)

Growing up, my world consisted of good kids like Spook, Ryan, Barry, Jean, and Christy. Especially Jean, she would draw fun pictures and write nice things in a note folded up for me at school: "To Tonya, my friend. From: Jean, your friend." There were bad kids like Eddie - who would come to our s...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 07, 2026 acceptance accountability ambiguity authenticity balance boundaries change character cognitive dissonance compassion compelxity complexity conflict conviction courage discernment emotional intelligence empathy ethics forgiveness grief growth humanity humility integrity judgment leadership learning loyalty maturity medicine nuance perspective physicians principles reconciliation refleciotn reflection relationships resilience respect sadness self-awareness trust understanding values wisdom

The Hidden Curriculum of a Career

Over the past several weeks, I’ve introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician struggling with a career dilemma I hear often: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel like...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 06, 2026 adaptation appreciation becoming career clarity communication community conribution culture development discernment evolution experience expertise fulfillment gratitude growth impact insight intentionality knowledge leadership learning legacy maturity meaning medicine mentorship operations perspective physicians progress purpose recognition reflection relationships renewal resilience self-awareness stewardship sustainability systems teaching teamwork transformation wisdom

John Changes the Question

A few weeks ago, I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician facing a career dilemma I hear often: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave my current o...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 29, 2026 adaptation agency alignment authenticity awareness burnout career change clarity coaching compassion connection continuity decision making direction discovery engagement fulfillment growth inquiry insight intention leadership listening meaning medicine mindset perspective physicians purpose reflection renewal resilience self-awareness sustainability teaching transformation transition trust values

Retroactive Omniscience and Having Your Own Back

Over the past few weeks, we’ve been following “John,” a fictional physician trying to sort through the emotional aftermath of multiple job changes and the growing belief that maybe he was just bad at choosing jobs. In the first edition, he recognized the story he was telling himself and how it wa...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 23, 2026 adaptability adaptation awareness career career change change clarity coaching cognition compassion confidence curiosity decision making development discernment evolution growth healthcare hindsight insight intentionality judgment leadership learning medicine mindset perspective physician psychology purpose refleciton resilience self-awareness self-doubt selftrust shame stress transitions trust wellbeing

John and the Honeymoon Effect

Last week I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician wrestling with a career dilemma I hear very frequently: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave m...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 17, 2026 adaptation awareness balance burnout career career change clarity coaching cognition compassion contentment curiosity decision making development feedback fulfillment growth healthcare identity insight intentionality leadership learning medicine mindset motivation negativity bias patterns perspective physician psychology purpose reflection relationships resilience self-assessment self-awareness systems transitions wellbeing

John's Decision

A common theme I hear from physicians is this: “I’ve lost confidence in my ability to pick a good job because I’m looking to leave…again.” And honestly, healthcare is different than it was decades ago when physicians often stayed in one practice for 30–40 years. Expectations, systems, autonomy, c...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 14, 2026 adaptation autonomy balance burnout career career change change clarity coaching cognition comparison confidence contentment decision making despair fulfillment growth healthcare insight intention job search leadership medicine mindset motivation negativity bias perspective physician psychology purpose reflection resilience self-awareness shame stress systems thought work transition values wellbeing

The Impact We Don't Always See

I came across a piece from Sahil Bloom not too long ago about the “Stonecutter Principle,” which is so relatable to the work I do. In case you’re not familiar with the story - a quick recap: three stonecutters doing the same work but describing it very differently: cutting stone, building a wall,...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 14, 2026 administration awareness burnout caregiving cathedral compassion connection documentation empathy forms fulfillment gratitude growth healing healthcare humanity impact leadership legacy meaning medicine mindset motivation patient care perspective physician purpose purposeful work quality of life reflection reframing relationships resilience service stonecutter storytelling support values

Learning As We Go

We’re in the thick of our Washington build, and I’ve lost count of how many times the plan has had to change on a dime. Not many major ones. But what feels like a near-constant set of pivots. Inspection corrections. New ideas. The domino effect of one decision making another no longer feasible. A...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 24, 2026 adaptability adjustment ai awareness balance change coaching cognition consistency decision making development education efficiency flexibility framework future growth improvement innovation insight iteration leadership learning medicine mindset planning problem solving progress reasoning reflection residency resilience skills strategy teaching technology thinking transformation

A Christmas Epiphany (From the Archives)

Early in our marriage, we lived in an ongoing renovation of a historic home. It had an entryway with stairs wrapping up to the second floor, creating the ideal spot for our Christmas tree. We would take the girls to the tree farm and pick out the largest one with near-perfect branches and set it ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 adaptation awareness balance behavior calm change clarity cognition communication conflict connection control emotion environment family growth habits holidays influence innner dialogue joy marriage mindset narrative perfectionism perspective psychology reflection regulation relationships resilience self awareness soundtracks stress thinking traditions trigger wellbeing

Two Kinds of Motivation

I had the chance to host Dr Tyra Fainstad (University of Colorado, Better Together Coaching Founder) for a group coaching session on mindset, and she opened with Self-Determination Theory (SDT). I've loved the topic of SDT since hearing Dr Richard Ryan speak at the IOC Coaching in Leadership and ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 autonomy awareness behavior burnout capability choice clarity coaching cognition competence connection development educaiton emotions engagement extrinsic focus growth habits innercritic intrinsic introjects leadership learning medicine mindset motivation performance physician psychology purpose reflection relatedness resilience self-determination thinking values wellbeing

What the Critic Taught Me

I was talking with a physician recently who started his own practice. Someone had asked about him in a local Facebook group. There were about thirty responses. Not just “he’s good,” but detailed, generous paragraphs about his skill, empathy, time, and care. And then one line: “My mom saw him and ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 adaptability attention awareness beliefs boundaries burnout coaching comparison confidence criticism delegation development emotions empathy feeback focus grace growth identity improvement interpretation leadership learning medicine mentorship mindset narrative perspective physician practice purpose reflection reputation resilience reviews selfworth trigger validation values wellbeing

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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