Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Responsibility Revisited: Story and Reflection
We don’t always talk about guilt in medicine unless it’s framed as toxic or as a byproduct of impossible systems. But some guilt is earned. Some of it’s useful. The kind that nudges us when we’ve strayed from our values. And some is not.
What follows is a story out of several that came to mine fr...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 08, 2025
adaptation
alignment
awareness
character
conscience
deicision
ethics
fatigue
growth
guilt
integrity
judgment
learning
medicine
observation
reflection
residency
responsibility
self-correction
values
Power of Conversation, Story and Invitation
A thoughtful reader recently wrote in and asked me: “How did you build the strong relationships you have with specialists?”
At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My brain went to the tactical: referrals, shared patients, thank-yous. (These are still paramount. Doing your due diligence with worku...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 02, 2025
assumptions
collaboration
communication
community
connection
consistency
conversation
curiosity
empathy
engagement
fallibility
grace
gratitude
habit
humanity
initiative
intentionality
invitation
listening
mindset
overwhelm
participation
perfectionism
presence
professionalism
reflection
relationships
respect
support
trust
vulnerability
Right Pause, Right Time Story and Reflection
Years ago, I was leading a medical team in Southeast Asia after the tsunami. Infrastructure was gone, local health workers were either missing or tending to their own communities, and our team, hosted by a local NGO, was running long, hot, and emotionally heavy days.
One morning, something was of...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 31, 2025
awareness
breath
burnout
clarity
cohesion
compassion
connection
emotion
gratitude
healing
humanity
insight
intention
leadership
listening
medicine
mindfulness
observation
pause
perspective
presence
purpose
recovery
reflection
resilience
restoration
support
sustainability
teamwork
wellbeing
Behind the Blame: Story and Reflection
In medicine and academic leadership, change is constant. But the kind we choose feels different than the kind we don’t. Lately, I’ve found myself thinking about what lies beneath the surface when frustration rises. Sometimes what looks like resistance or blame turns out to be something else entir...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 24, 2025
acceptance
blame
change
clarity
collaboration
conversation
frustration
grief
honesty
insight
leadership
loss
mission
purpose
reality
recognition
resistance
softening
transition
values
Story and Reflection: What Success Really Looks Like
As a new academic year begins—fresh name badges, new roles, different rhythms—I’ve been returning to a question I first heard from Dr. Kerri Palamara, a national leader in coaching in graduate medical education and Director of the Center for Physician Well-Being at Massachusetts General Hospital....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 11, 2025
agency
alignment
aspirations
authenticity
awareness
belonging
career
clarity
coaching
compassion
connection
curiosity
fulfillment
growth
intention
meaning
navigation
pause
perspective
presence
purpose
redefinition
reflection
relationships
success
transformation
values
well-being
wholeness
Freedom Reflection
As we mark Independence Day, I find myself drawn to a quieter kind of patriotism. Instead of fireworks and fanfare, the steady work of building systems where physicians and learners can thrive.
It shows up in faculty who pause long enough to ask better questions.
In leaders willing to shift from ...
Jul 11, 2025
change
coaching
compassion
connection
freedom
hope
interdependence
leadership
learning
listening
patriotism
reflection
support
systemic
truth
The Award Not Won: Story and Reflection
It’s that season again. Graduation programs. Thank-you speeches. Awards. A flurry of new titles, public praise, and quiet appreciation.
We do this because it matters. Recognition is powerful. Appreciation even more so. But in the messiness of human systems, it doesn’t always land how we intend.
I...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 27, 2025
acknowledgment
alignment
appreciation
authenticity
belonging
care
celebration
community
compassion
connection
contribution
encouragement
equity
gratitude
humanity
humility
impact
inclusion
integrity
leadership
mentorship
mindfulness
presence
process
purpose
recognition
reflection
service
stewardship
support
systems
values
visibility
well-being
Mise en Place for the Mind
One of my coachees recently identified the missing link in his project workflow. (Thanks for the metaphor, Michael Caçoilo! - shared with permission.)
He had developed the right structure for him: breaking big tasks into smaller chunks and blocking time to get them done. But something still felt ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 21, 2025
awareness
clarity
coaching
connection
efficiency
engagement
execution
focus
habits
insight
intentionality
leadership
metaphor
mindset
mise-en-place
planning
pre-work
preparation
presence
productivity
professionalism
readiness
reflection
structure
time blocking
trust
workflow
Lessons in the Messy Middle Reflection
“Celebrate the abundance within troubles.” – Will Miller, MD, Annals of Family Medicine, 2010 📸 Thanks to Jay Fetter for the reminder and this powerful slide in Atlanta last week where the year long STFM CBME pilot project wrapped up.
The CBME pilot participants showed us what it looks like to le...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 19, 2025
abundance
adaptation
breakthrough
challenge
change
clarity
complexity
courage
culture
curiosity
design
discovery
experimentation
failure
growth
innovation
insight
leadership
learning
meaning
momentum
optimism
persistence
progress
purpose
reflection
resilience
tension
transformation
uncertainty
Keep Digging (And Savor the Moments Along the Way)
Dinner was beautiful. A nice evening, bold flavors, shared stories of challenge & success, and laughter with friends who are in simlar trenches.
The meal came with this quote came tucked in tableware:
“Work. Keep digging your well. Water is there somewhere.”
It stayed with me—not just because it...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
community
connection
depth
digging
effort
endurance
flow
fulfillment
grit
grounding
hope
meaning
nourishment
patience
persistence
presence
process
resilience
savoring
season
stillness
support
uncertainty
waiting
work
Leaders and Legacy Reflection
When physicians or faculty leaders are struggling in their roles—or with certain parts of them—I often ask:
"When you think of a leader you admire, what qualities stand out?"
They usually name things such as integrity. Strength. Clinical wisdom. Courage. Kindness. Collaboration.
And almost always...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
admiration
awareness
balance
boundaries
capacity
choice
clarity
courage
decline
dedication
delegation
discomfort
expansion
growth
impact
influence
integrity
kindness
leaders
leadership
legacy
modeling
possibility
presence
purpose
rolemodeling
streamline
strength
sustainability
tension
wisdom
Confessions of a Former Night Owl: Story and Reflection on Identity, Change, and Quiet Growth
We often resist change when it feels like it threatens who we are. But not all change is self-abandonment.
Not long ago, someone shared that she felt a surprising amount of grief around changing—even when the change was meant to help a relationship work better. Authenticity was a deeply held valu...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
adaptation
adjustment
alignment
authenticity
change
commitment
curiosity
discovery
evolution
flexibility
grief
growth
habits
identity
intention
mindset
motivation
openness
patterns
resistance
selfhood
surprises
transformation
values
willingness
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
