Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: energy
Showing 12 results:
Suitcases, Constraints, and Where Possibility Lives
Last week, I wrote about a familiar moment in medicine: when you’ve used every skillful form of influence you have (data, stories, coalitions, reframing) and nothing moves. When effort stops matching outcome, (high importance, low control, and your influence stalls), there are a few ways forward....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 12, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
agency
burnout
constraint
control
creativity
energy
flexibility
impact
influence
leadership
limits
navigation
possibility
problem-solving
reframing
resilience
strategy
systems
When Influence Stops Influencing
Every physician leader I coach eventually reaches the same moment. They’ve done the work: gathered data, built coalitions, shared meaningful stories, aligned it to the core corporate values, used every bit of their Crucial Conversations skill set, emotionally intelligenced the nuances, and framed...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
acceptance
agency
alignment
boundaries
burnout
change
clarity
coalition
community
connection
discernment
energy
exhaustion
frustration
influence
integrity
leadership
mentorship
metrics
perspective
process
purpose
reality
reflection
regulation
resistance
strategy
systems
values
When Effort Feels Right
A couple of weeks ago, my friend, colleague, and physician advocate Dr. Sasha Shillcutt wrote something that grabbed my attention:
“Can we all stop shaming women who work hard?”
It resonated.
The pendulum has needed to swing toward rest and boundaries for a long time. We’ve finally begun to norma...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 14, 2025
agency
alignment
autonomy
awareness
balance
boundaries
burnout
choice
clarity
compassion
curiosity
discipline
effort
energy
expectations
flow
fulfillment
inquiry
insight
intention
judgment
mindfulness
obligation
overload
passion
people pleasing
perfectionism
perspective
priorities
purpose
recovery
reflection
reset
rest
self-care
shame
signals
support
sustainability
tells
validation
wellbeing
work
Reflection: Between the Gates
On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me.
For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
adaptation
adjustment
alignment
attention
awareness
balance
boundaries
calm
centering
compassion
connection
energy
equilibrium
flow
focus
grace
grounding
humanity
integration
intention
leadership
mindfulness
patience
pause
perspective
preparation
presence
recovery
reflection
regulation
renewal
reset
resilience
restoration
rhythm
self-awareness
space
stillness
sustainability
transition
Structure Creates Culture: Lessons from Launching the Alaska GME Council
Culture doesn’t just “happen.” It’s shaped — often by the structures we choose. That was clear to me during the recent launch of the Alaska GME Council, a 3½-hour sprint where structure set the tone for team identity, purpose, and action.
(And yes, it also showed up in my sleep — a classic sign o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 28, 2025
action
adoption
agreements
authenticity
charter
connection
coordination
culture
decision-making
design
energy
engagement
foundation
funding
identity
layout
leadership
meeting
officers
outcomes
ownership
principles
priorities
purpose
reflection
structure
subcommittees
team
vision
voice
Not Everyone Gets a Seat at Your Table
In clinical & academic medicine, and in leadership, “they” shows up a lot.
They’ll think I’m a joke.
They can tell I don’t belong.
They are totally judging me.
But here’s the problem: “they” rarely has a face. A faceless crowd gets invited to our mental table of influence, and suddenly we’re serv...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 29, 2025
academia
boundaries
clarity
colleagues
comparison
critics
crowd
decisions
discernment
doubt
energy
fear
feedback
growth
influence
judgment
leaders
leadership
medicine
overgeneralization
perspective
power
reflection
resilience
source
table
voices
worth
Beyond Labels: Story and Reflection
It’s not infrequent that I’m in conversation with a faculty member who’s frustrated with one or two residents they see as lazy or disengaged. Those moments take me right back to how I sometimes felt a decade ago, when I was burned out in my core faculty role. I remember the intensity of that frus...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 22, 2025
barriers
burnout
connection
conversations
criticism
curiosity
data
defesiveness
drive
efficiency
energy
engagement
exhuastion
experience
feedback
frustration
gaps
growth
immersion
interviewing
labels
language
learning
minset
motivation
nuance
patience
perspective
procrastination
quality
rapport
reflection
remediation
repitition
resources
responsibility
safety
strengths
support
trust
understanding
Winning Reflections
As we close out 2024, I want to point our minds toward the wins. What you learned, what impact you made, how you grew, etc. You all know it's one area I like to be intentional and savor.
Last week, my own coach just elevated the process for me by 1. recognizing something I was unknowingly doing a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
affirmation
awareness
celebration
coaching
communication
confidence
energy
feedback
growth
insight
intentionality
leadership
learning
mindset
positivity
preparation
process
progress
recognition
reflection
reinforcement
repeatability
rumination
savoring
self-awareness
shift
success
sustainability
team dynamics
widsom
Great Progress Reflection
What's in a subject line? Specifically an email subject line. No, this isn't a reflection on best email practices. Just the power of words.
You know how we often keep a dialog going via email by replying to the original one sent, creating a chain of emails?
Well, these past couple of weeks, I hav...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
awareness
communication
correspondence
digital dialogue
email
emotion
energy
experiment
framing
impact
influence
intention
interaction
language
messaging
mindfulness
mood
naming
narrative
perception
priming
reflection
resonance
response
subject line
tone
tone setting
word choice
VW Bug Reflection
For this week's reflection, I invite you to picture a 4-seater car. My friend, Dr Sasha Shillcutt, likes to talk about balancing/integrating life as the driver. You occupy the driver's seat (hopefully!), and then you have one other front-seat passenger and 2 back-seat passengers.
Here's my take. ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 08, 2025
awareness
balance
boundaries
capacity
choice
clarity
commitment
control
decision-making
discernment
energy
focus
integration
intentionality
mindfulness
navigation
priorities
reflection
responsibility
time
1% Reflection
I invite you this week to consider what percent of your average work week includes joy. When you drill down - what are those experiences that offer soul-satisfying glimmers?
If it's below 20% - there is some good news - slowly increasing up to 20% will be protective against burnout. If it's above...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 03, 2025
awareness
balance
burnout
connection
energy
engagement
fulfillment
gratitude
growth
incremental
inspiration
joy
mindfulness
presence
purpose
reflection
resilience
satisfaction
wellbeing
workplace
Fall Focus Reflection
"What you focus on expands." (multiple attributions)
I recalled this quote while watching my brilliant friend, Dr. Tricia James, explain how her modification of Stephen Covey's circles of influence and concern applies to us in medicine.
The outer circle applies to all of those things that are ou...
Jun 03, 2025
acceptance
attention
awareness
boundaries
control
emotions
empowerment
energy
focus
growth
influence
intention
leadership
medicine
mindset
perspective
reframing
regulation
resilience
suffering
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
