Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: reframing
Showing 12 results:
Suitcases, Constraints, and Where Possibility Lives
Last week, I wrote about a familiar moment in medicine: when you’ve used every skillful form of influence you have (data, stories, coalitions, reframing) and nothing moves. When effort stops matching outcome, (high importance, low control, and your influence stalls), there are a few ways forward....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 12, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
agency
burnout
constraint
control
creativity
energy
flexibility
impact
influence
leadership
limits
navigation
possibility
problem-solving
reframing
resilience
strategy
systems
Grateful for Rejection? A Post-Thanksgiving Reflection
If you’re feeling maxed out on gratitude messages this month, you’re not alone. The day after Thanksgiving tends to expose the gap between the gratitude we’re “supposed” to feel and how our brains actually work. That gap is where the science gets interesting. So instead of another round of holida...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
acceptance
awareness
bias
burnout
clarity
disappointment
ego
gratitude
growth
happiness
insight
mindfulness
mindset
mood
negativity
perspective
positivity
psychology
purpose
reflection
reframing
resilience
sleep
stress
Ask Responsibly
I was thinking recently about how agreeable my AI assistant, Scribbs, is with me. He’s great at coming up with answers in the direction I point him - quick to confirm, validate, or spot what might be off.
It’s a lot like those friends we turn to when we just want someone to agree with us.
But I’v...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 24, 2025
ai
alignment
assumption
awareness
bias
clarity
confirmation
connection
course-correction
criticism
curiosity
detective
dialogue
direction
excitement
exploration
feedback
growth
guidance
humility
impulsivity
inquiry
insight
intention
judgment
learning
listening
meaning-making
mindset
mirror
oversight
perspective
purpose
questions
reflection
reframing
relevance
self-talk
How We Think Shapes What We See: Story and Reflection
When I mentioned last month that I was heading to Las Vegas to see the Eagles play in the Sphere, more than one person responded with a look of surprise, post-Super Bowl: “You’re going to a football game?”
That moment—a simple case of mistaken reference—got me thinking about how our assumptions a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
alignment
assumptions
awareness
beliefs
clarity
coaching
communication
culture
development
dynamics
evaluations
expectations
feedback
frustration
growth
insight
interpretation
mindsets
modeling
perception
reflection
reframing
support
trust
understanding
Two Travelers and A Mountain: Tale and Reflection
Two explorers set out on a journey to find a hidden village high in the mountains. Both were experienced travelers, used to well-marked paths, sturdy bridges, and reliable guides.
They started on different sides of the mountain which strattled two countries. The first traveler was started in an...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
agency
awareness
calm in chaos
clarity
comparison
expectation reset
expectations
frustration
internal shift
journey
mindset
orientation
perspective
presence
privilege
purpose
reframing
resilience
resistance
surrender
systems thinking
transformation
trial and error
Reflection: What's Left?
A couple of years ago, at the BE Conference in Scottsdale, speaker and drama researcher, Cy Wakeman demonstrated a tool she called "Edit Your Story" to a room of hundreds of women physicians. She asked for show of hands of who worked with a difficult person on a regular basis. (I snapped the phot...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
agency
boundaries
choice
clarity
cognitive shift
community
compassion
decision making
detachment
drama
editing
emotional intelligence
empowerment
facts
groundedness
interpretation
mindset
narrative
next step
ownership
perception
perspective
reaction
reality
reframing
resilience
self-awareness
self-regulation
story editing
workplace
Polarities Reflection
"I can either run on time, or I can address the patient's needs"
"I can either get my work done, or build relationships with the staff."
"I can either shirk my responsibilities at work and be there for my family, or I can shirk my responsibilities for my family and be there for work."
These are o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
adapatation
all-or-nothing
balance
binary thinking
choice
collaboration
connection
creativity
curiosity
experimentation
false dichotomy
flexbility
growth
integration
intersection
mindset
perfectionism
perspective
polarity
prioritization
problem solving
reflection
reframing
resourcefulness
responsibility
scarcity
self-awareness
tension
time-management
venn-diagram
work life integration
The Dilemma: Story and Reflection
Many of you have heard me tell how being a great wife landed me in Alaska from Florida in 2007. It has been a fantastic decision. I don't often talk about the fears I had. I worried about moving an 8th grader away from good friends and the sunny beach to an unknown, cold, dark place (the story of...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
adaptation
adjustment
all-or-nothing
binary thinking
career
catastrophizing
compromise
decision making
emotional growth
expansion
fear
flexibility
gray-area
identity
mindset
narrative
opportunity
options
overthinking
parenting
perspective
problem solving
reframing
resilience
self-awareness
success
support
transition
trust
vulnerability
Ziplining Snafu: Story and Reflection
When we explored Alaska with our 13-year-old before our move from Florida 17 years ago, we made sure to make it adventurous for her.
We signed up for zip-lining in Ketchikan among the tall Western Hemlocks. I've never been a fan of heights (understatement of the year!), but I was determined. We r...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
action
adventure
agency
behavior
choice
courage
detachment
embarassment
emotion
fear
growth
identity
internalization
labeling
mindset
naming
narrative
perception
personal growth
perspective
reframing
resilience
self-awareness
self-compassion
self-definition
self-talk
shame
transformation
validation
vulnerability
"Alaskan Tough" Story and Reflection
Memorial Day weekend was the best weather we've had in Anchorage in quite some time. My friend, Kari, a lifelong Alaskan, asked if I wanted to hike Bird Ridge which starts at the Bird Creek parking lot, a popular moderate to difficult 5-mile 3400 ft elevation hike. I've never done it, although mo...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
adaptability
assumptions
attentiveness
automaticity
awareness
clarity
confirmation bias
correction
curiosity
expectation
humor
identity
insight
interpretation
language
listening
mindset
miscommunication
mistake
narrative
observation
overconfidence
perception
preparation
presence
readiness
realization
reflection
reframing
storytelling
The "Right" Tool, Story and Reflection
My husband and I enjoy our annual camping trips across South Central Alaska (Hope being a favorite). We upgraded a couple years ago from the pop-up tent to a trailer. (Yep - we are 'that age' 😉) But we have learned over the years the importance of taking a screen shelter with us - whether for bug...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
adaptability
assumptions
brainstorming
coaching
creativity
curiosity
discomfort
empowerment
experimentation
exploration
flexibility
imagination
improvisation
innovation
insight
limitations
mental agility
metaphor
mindset
obstacles
options
perseverance
perspective
problem solving
reframing
resilience
resourcefulness
self-efficacy
tools
workaround
The Tale of Two Challenges
Challenge #1 The Hike. When my kids were both back in Alaska, they insisted that we climb the frontside of Flattop one rainy day. It's a popular local hike. It's my least favorite because I loathe the "scramble" at the top, where you create your own rock climbing path up. It's not particularly st...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
acceptance
adaptability
agency
automatic thoughts
challenge
control
discomfort
emotions
experience
fear
flexibility
frustration
growth
humor
memory making
mindset
narrative
negativity
ownership
perspective
reactivity
reflection
reframing
resilience
responsibility
self-awareness
self-compasssion
self-talk
storytelling
thoughts
transformation
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
