Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: grace

Showing 11 results:

The shadow side of good values in medicine... I’ve learned that even good values have edges. Justice, for me, especially. We talk a lot about values in medicine: integrity, compassion, excellence, justice. But I’ve learned that even our best values have a "shadow side". Sometimes, even justice ne...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 alignment awareness balance boundaries burnout clarity compassion control criticism discernment distortion ego evolution excellence faith grace humanity humility imbalance integrity judge judgment justice learning martyrdom outrage perfectionism perspective proportion reflection responsibility rigidity self-justification

Reflection: Between the Gates

On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me. For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 10, 2025 adaptation adjustment alignment attention awareness balance boundaries calm centering compassion connection energy equilibrium flow focus grace grounding humanity integration intention leadership mindfulness patience pause perspective preparation presence recovery reflection regulation renewal reset resilience restoration rhythm self-awareness space stillness sustainability transition

Power of Conversation, Story and Invitation

A thoughtful reader recently wrote in and asked me: “How did you build the strong relationships you have with specialists?” At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My brain went to the tactical: referrals, shared patients, thank-yous. (These are still paramount. Doing your due diligence with worku...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 02, 2025 assumptions collaboration communication community connection consistency conversation curiosity empathy engagement fallibility grace gratitude habit humanity initiative intentionality invitation listening mindset overwhelm participation perfectionism presence professionalism reflection relationships respect support trust vulnerability

The Power of a Smile: Story and Reflection

During the half-day virtual faculty development workshop that I co-led this past week, one thing stood out to me: my co-presenter, Dr. Rae Wright, was always smiling and actively present. Her smile looked so genuine—like she was truly enjoying hearing me speak and appreciating how I was presentin...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 appreciation attentiveness attunement authenticity belonging co-facilitation confidence connection culture encouragement encouragement culture energy transfer grace light micro-affirmation nonverbal communication positivity presence psychological safety renewal small gestures smile smile power support validation warmth zoom fatigue buffer

Reflecting on Two Things

In preparing for the AMWA Evolve Leadership Course for trainees session on Difficult Conversations, I've been reflecting on principles from Crucial Conversations, Super Communicators, Non-Violent Communication, and How to Work with Almost Anyone (all highly recommended books). We often fall into ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 awareness balance binary thinking communication compassion complexity conflict resolution contradiction curiosity discernment emotional intelligence empathy fool's choice grace growth honesty kindness labeling mindset nuance overgeneralization paradox perspective polarity thinking reflection relationship self-regulation truth understanding wake

Best Laid Plans: Story and Reflection

I enjoy it when people expand and contrast the meanings of words. It gives me a better grasp of various approaches. I came across a quote from Sahil Bloom that did just that: "Preparation always beats planning. Planning is based on the expectation of order. Preparation is based on the expectation...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adaptability calm control creativity emotional intelligence engagement evolution expectations flexibility foresight grace humor idealism improvisation leadership learning mindset perspective pivoting planning preparation presence problem solving recovery reflection resilience responsiveness self-regulation teaching uncertainty

Near Miss Story and Reflection

Many years ago, as a second-year medical student, I stopped by the post office on my way to pathology to mail a certified letter. I had to take a different route than usual - one I knew well because it was my evening route for my study group. It was already 90 degrees with max humidity upon my ar...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adaptation automation awareness behavior change change cognitive load compassion course correction grace growth habit humanity humility intentionality judgment learning memory mindfulness mistake neuropathways neuroplasticity patterning progress reflection resilience rewiring routine self-forgiveness self-regulation

Forced Pause Story and Reflection

My leisurely start to morning clinic with a no-show was short-lived. The kind, new MA took longer than experienced MAs to room patients, which began stacking up. I had almost caught up when I walked in to see another patient. Based on the CC, I was fairly sure this would be my opportunity to "get...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 09, 2025 acceptance burnout prevention cocreation compassion connection control disruption empathy frustration grace listening mindfulness pause perspective presence reflection reframe repair resilience systems

Worst Case, Story and Reflection

Early on, as a new physician coach, one of my first group sessions was in a Zoom breakout room with residents during their grand rounds. The main room topic, presented by another physician coach, a surgeon, was Unhealthy Perfectionism, briefly mentioning how our thoughts affect our emotions and a...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 09, 2025 assumptions avoidance awareness coaching curiosity empathy engagement grace insight intent interpretation mindset patience perception presence projection reflection silence uncertainty vulnerability

The Spectacle Reflection

Back when my youngest daughter was on the high school track team, I sat in stands cheering her team on. I was watching the guys race the 1600 meters. The front two were neck and neck on the last curve. Suddenly one collapsed. You know those times when you are thankful for a timely article or lect...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 09, 2025 accpetance awareness courage embarrassment emotion empathy grace growth humanity humor perspective presence processing recovery reflection resilience response support survival vulnerability

Edit Reflection

When we lived in Florida, we had a lab mix named Snickers. True to his breed, he loved to be right next to his people. While we were temporarily in a rental house, he had to stay outside, and he became an escape artist. One day driving home from work, I saw him happily trotting on the side of the...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 acceptance adaptability bias compassion connection forgiveness grace growth humor identity interpretation learning lightness mistakes ownership perspective redemption reframing rescue storytelling

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: grace

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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