Forced Pause Story and Reflection

My leisurely start to morning clinic with a no-show was short-lived. The kind, new MA took longer than experienced MAs to room patients, which began stacking up. I had almost caught up when I walked in to see another patient. Based on the CC, I was fairly sure this would be my opportunity to "get back on track."

And, as it happened, he had much more to discuss than medical issues. He had many grievances about the clinic and had overcome many hurdles to get the appointment. It just happened to be with me, the fill-in doc, instead of with his primary. His negative encounters began a couple of years earlier but hit a boiling point one month prior to the visit when a specialist diagnosed something outside their scope. He had been scared. He left messages, and with the perfect storm of unusual circumstances, they had gone unanswered.

I thought back to Dr Kimberly Manning's poignant Twitter thread from last year. I paused, pushed the computer away, sat back, and listened. After hearing how he felt abandoned during the time of a health scare, along with other issues, I apologized. I felt I understood the system breakdowns but that me explaining them was not going to help him - and was likely to feel as if I was invalidating his experience. He hadn't asked anything that wasn't a reasonable expectation of a primary care office. We co-created a plan to reconcile his discontent. Then, we moved on to the medical issue which was equally as important. Given his previous experience, I did little charting during the visit.

After completing the visit, I rushed out to my station to complete the note. (I know it's worth the discomfort to do it between patients, even when I'm behind.) And that's when it happened -

-- the first time. I swiped my SSO badge, and the computer screen went black. 😩 I was about to express anxiety and frustration when a recent coaching encounter rang in my mind. "Hit Pause."

And so, there I was, given a gift to practice what I preach. I took a couple of deep breaths and shifted to enjoy the stillness of the moment, keeping my mind from wandering to the next patient, as the computer glitched back open. It made the internal tension fade and the note-writing much easier. Which allowed me to be more fully present with each subsequent patient. (I received the black screen "gift" between each patient the rest of the day.)

Working in almost any healthcare setting, there are things beyond our control that create hurdles for our patients and challenges for us. Allowing ourselves to automatically be frustrated by them covers up any joy to be found - but doesn't remove the challenges. (And btw, accepting the current state of healthcare, doesn't mean we endorse it. We can still lobby for change in the appropriate time and arena with the key players.)

So, I tested it out in real time for you since it had been a while. It still works. The next time you are frustrated by slower staff, computer glitches, EHR clicks, or system breakdowns, I encourage you to "Hit Pause."  Breathe.

In the end, I worked through part of lunch but caught up.