Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: empathy

Showing 12 results:

Team Culture: Boundaries, Generosity, and Trust

For me, Fall is closely associated with sports. College football, one of the primary ones, but also volleyball after years of being a volleyball mom. I have a few friends who find sports a bit pedestrian, too focused on competition, and something they’ve never really understood the appeal of. I...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 18, 2026 accountability adaptability belonging boundaries burnout career coaching collaboration communication community competition confidence connection cooperation culture development empathy flexibility generosity growth growth mindset healthcare leadership learning medicine mentorship partnership physicians positive intent reciprocity recovery reliability residency resilience self-preservation sports sportsmanship support sustainability team culture teaming teammates teamwork trust volleyball vulnerability workload workplace

Caring Enough to Tell the Truth

I’ve been reflecting on a situation someone close to me recently faced in her work as a consultant. She was brought into a high-stakes situation by her boss, who had asked her to help a close friend. The friend believed that other people involved in an important transition were the problem. Her a...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 28, 2026 accountability advocacy boundaries candor care clinicians coaching communication compassion conflict courage development dignity education empathy evaluation expectations faculty fairness feedback growth healthcare honesty integrity leadership learning medicine mentorship patient care performance professionalism reflection relationships remediation residency residents responsibility standards supervision support teaching transparency trust truth

Pick Up the Phone

A couple of weeks ago, I was juggling multiple time-sensitive projects when someone began doing work which I felt was mine to do, that I wanted to do, and in an order that made no sense to me. I initially reacted from momentary frustration. Becoming a coach does not uninstall the old neural pathw...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 31, 2026 acceptance activation adaptability awareness breathing burnout centering compassion connection creativity curiosity emotional intelligence emotions empathy grounding growth learning mindfulness mindset nervous system neuroscience pathways patience perspective reactions reflection regulation relationships residency resilience responding self-awareness self-regulation stress transformation trust wellness

Cognitive Dissonance (From the Archives)

Growing up, my world consisted of good kids like Spook, Ryan, Barry, Jean, and Christy. Especially Jean, she would draw fun pictures and write nice things in a note folded up for me at school: "To Tonya, my friend. From: Jean, your friend." There were bad kids like Eddie - who would come to our s...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 07, 2026 acceptance accountability ambiguity authenticity balance boundaries change character cognitive dissonance compassion compelxity complexity conflict conviction courage discernment emotional intelligence empathy ethics forgiveness grief growth humanity humility integrity judgment leadership learning loyalty maturity medicine nuance perspective physicians principles reconciliation refleciotn reflection relationships resilience respect sadness self-awareness trust understanding values wisdom

The Impact We Don't Always See

I came across a piece from Sahil Bloom not too long ago about the “Stonecutter Principle,” which is so relatable to the work I do. In case you’re not familiar with the story - a quick recap: three stonecutters doing the same work but describing it very differently: cutting stone, building a wall,...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 14, 2026 administration awareness burnout caregiving cathedral compassion connection documentation empathy forms fulfillment gratitude growth healing healthcare humanity impact leadership legacy meaning medicine mindset motivation patient care perspective physician purpose purposeful work quality of life reflection reframing relationships resilience service stonecutter storytelling support values

What the Critic Taught Me

I was talking with a physician recently who started his own practice. Someone had asked about him in a local Facebook group. There were about thirty responses. Not just “he’s good,” but detailed, generous paragraphs about his skill, empathy, time, and care. And then one line: “My mom saw him and ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 adaptability attention awareness beliefs boundaries burnout coaching comparison confidence criticism delegation development emotions empathy feeback focus grace growth identity improvement interpretation leadership learning medicine mentorship mindset narrative perspective physician practice purpose reflection reputation resilience reviews selfworth trigger validation values wellbeing

Same Game, Different Frame

Two men played chess a few evenings near the main path before dinner. It was entertaining to pass by and see them deep in strategic concentration. One night, two photos were taken about twenty minutes apart from different angles. In the first, the light, sky, and ocean make it feel expansive. So ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 21, 2026 aperture awareness chess contrast curiosity discourse empathy flexibility framing gratitude growth humility insight interpretation leadership lens light love medicine metaphor mindfulness mindset narrative perception perspective presence psychology reflection relationships strategy vantage

Power of Conversation, Story and Invitation

A thoughtful reader recently wrote in and asked me: “How did you build the strong relationships you have with specialists?” At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My brain went to the tactical: referrals, shared patients, thank-yous. (These are still paramount. Doing your due diligence with worku...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 02, 2025 assumptions collaboration communication community connection consistency conversation curiosity empathy engagement fallibility grace gratitude habit humanity initiative intentionality invitation listening mindset overwhelm participation perfectionism presence professionalism reflection relationships respect support trust vulnerability

The Extra Mile - Story and Reflection

Recently, I’ve been supporting my mom from afar as she’s gone through a complicated health issue. Like many patients, she didn’t show up with a single neat explanation. She had two separate issues—Occam’s razor didn’t apply. That alone created delays and misdirection, but this story isn’t about w...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 bandwidth care care over efficiency clarity connection discernment effort empathy experience informed action family perspective generosity going above and beyond gratitude groundedness healing healing moments humanity intention leadership meaningful meaningful effort medicine pacing perspective physician humanity presence prioritization professionalism relational medicine right effort right moment silent leadership timing wisdom

Reflection: The Adventure of Conversation

I had just turned a group of faculty workshop participants loose to help each other work on short term career goals & to do so by practicing their new coaching skills with each other. I encouraged them to keep their advice-monster at bay. (See Michael Bungay Stanier's The Advice Trap). When they ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 advice trap awareness co-creation coaching communication connection curiosity discovery empathy engagement exploration facilitation growth guidance insight interaction learning listening mindset non-judgment openness pattern recognition physician habit practice presence reflection restraint storytelling transformation trust

Reflecting on Two Things

In preparing for the AMWA Evolve Leadership Course for trainees session on Difficult Conversations, I've been reflecting on principles from Crucial Conversations, Super Communicators, Non-Violent Communication, and How to Work with Almost Anyone (all highly recommended books). We often fall into ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 awareness balance binary thinking communication compassion complexity conflict resolution contradiction curiosity discernment emotional intelligence empathy fool's choice grace growth honesty kindness labeling mindset nuance overgeneralization paradox perspective polarity thinking reflection relationship self-regulation truth understanding wake

Alaskan Pause: Story and Reflection

One fall, 17 years ago, as I was driving in my new state of Alaska, I was in a bit of a hurry (as was a natural state for me at the time). So you can imagine, I was a bit annoyed when the line of cars in front of me didn't move when the light turned green. The middle lane was empty, so I decided ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adaptability assumptions attentiveness awareness behavioral patterns connection curiosity decision-making empathy growth humor impulse control interpretation learning mindfulness mindset misjudgment patience pausing perspective presence psychological safety reaction reflection restraint safety self-awareness self-regulation surprise understanding

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: empathy

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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