Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: empathy
Showing 12 results:
The Extra Mile - Story and Reflection
Recently, I’ve been supporting my mom from afar as she’s gone through a complicated health issue. Like many patients, she didn’t show up with a single neat explanation. She had two separate issues—Occam’s razor didn’t apply. That alone created delays and misdirection, but this story isn’t about w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
bandwidth
care
care over efficiency
clarity
connection
discernment
effort
empathy
experience informed action
family perspective
generosity
going above and beyond
gratitude
groundedness
healing
healing moments
humanity
intention
leadership
meaningful
meaningful effort
medicine
pacing
perspective
physician humanity
presence
prioritization
professionalism
relational medicine
right effort right moment
silent leadership
timing
wisdom
Reflection: The Adventure of Conversation
I had just turned a group of faculty workshop participants loose to help each other work on short term career goals & to do so by practicing their new coaching skills with each other.
I encouraged them to keep their advice-monster at bay. (See Michael Bungay Stanier's The Advice Trap).
When they ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
advice trap
awareness
co-creation
coaching
communication
connection
curiosity
discovery
empathy
engagement
exploration
facilitation
growth
guidance
insight
interaction
learning
listening
mindset
non-judgment
openness
pattern recognition
physician habit
practice
presence
reflection
restraint
storytelling
transformation
trust
Reflecting on Two Things
In preparing for the AMWA Evolve Leadership Course for trainees session on Difficult Conversations, I've been reflecting on principles from Crucial Conversations, Super Communicators, Non-Violent Communication, and How to Work with Almost Anyone (all highly recommended books).
We often fall into ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
awareness
balance
binary thinking
communication
compassion
complexity
conflict resolution
contradiction
curiosity
discernment
emotional intelligence
empathy
fool's choice
grace
growth
honesty
kindness
labeling
mindset
nuance
overgeneralization
paradox
perspective
polarity thinking
reflection
relationship
self-regulation
truth
understanding
wake
Alaskan Pause: Story and Reflection
One fall, 17 years ago, as I was driving in my new state of Alaska, I was in a bit of a hurry (as was a natural state for me at the time). So you can imagine, I was a bit annoyed when the line of cars in front of me didn't move when the light turned green.
The middle lane was empty, so I decided ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
adaptability
assumptions
attentiveness
awareness
behavioral patterns
connection
curiosity
decision-making
empathy
growth
humor
impulse control
interpretation
learning
mindfulness
mindset
misjudgment
patience
pausing
perspective
presence
psychological safety
reaction
reflection
restraint
safety
self-awareness
self-regulation
surprise
understanding
Seat Swapping Story and Reflection
During our 30th anniversary trip, we explored new locales and discovered fantastic small restaurants that locals were trying hard to keep off TripAdvisor. One such gem was in Mainz, a cozy outdoor setting with beautiful ivy over the brick walls and around the fencing.
If you have ever eaten out w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
adaptability
assessment
attention
awareness
boundaries
comfort
communication
composure
decision making
empathy
experience
foresight
humor
improvisation
instinct
intuition
judgment
observation
partnership
perspective
predictability
protection
relationships
restraint
risk
scenario-reading
self-knowledge
travel
trust
uncertainty
Hurricanes and Turtles, Story and well...
Our brains are pretty entertaining places - especially in the middle of the night - mine offers me random memories seemingly out of nowhere for no reason.
Last night I remembered chasing down a turtle during Hurricane Ivan in 2004 in Pensacola, FL. My husband was operating. The girls and I were h...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
animals
chaos
connection
curiosity
disaster
empathy
fear
heroism
humanity
humor
imagination
impulsivity
instincts
learning
memory
middle of the night
midnight thoughts
nature
nostalgia
parenting
perspective
playfulness
randomness
reflection
resilience
spontaneity
storytelling
surprise
unplanned
unpredictability
Running Up Mountains Story and Reflection
Have you ever been isolated during a race? Me neither, until I was. I participated in a small fundraiser weeknight race after work in late May several years back. It was my first (and last) mountain race.
It was a race up "Peak 3" in the Alaska Chugach Range, with the finish line at the top, smal...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
accomplishment
comparison
compassion
disappointment
disorientation
empathy
exhaustion
expectations
experience
fear
fear response
frustration
growth
humility
identity
isolation
journey
mentorship
metaphor
mindset
normalization
overwhelm
parallel
perseverance
reflection
resilience
self-compassion
transition
uncertainty
vulnerability
Navigation Story and Reflection
Years ago, my young nephew was carpooling to school with us in my new Honda Odyssey minivan that had my first navigation system. From the captain chair behind me, he exclaimed, "Oh COOL Aunt Tonya! You have a force field?!" It took me a minute to realize he was talking about my dashboard location...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
amygdala
analogy
boundaries
calm
childhood
control
countertransference
curiosity
detachment
emotions
empathy
forcefield
humor
imagination
inner-peace
mindset
narrative
navigation
perspective
protection
reaction
reflection
reframe
regulation
resilience
road-rage
self-awareness
triggers
understanding
visualization
wonder
Forced Pause Story and Reflection
My leisurely start to morning clinic with a no-show was short-lived. The kind, new MA took longer than experienced MAs to room patients, which began stacking up. I had almost caught up when I walked in to see another patient. Based on the CC, I was fairly sure this would be my opportunity to "get...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 09, 2025
acceptance
burnout prevention
cocreation
compassion
connection
control
disruption
empathy
frustration
grace
listening
mindfulness
pause
perspective
presence
reflection
reframe
repair
resilience
systems
Worst Case, Story and Reflection
Early on, as a new physician coach, one of my first group sessions was in a Zoom breakout room with residents during their grand rounds. The main room topic, presented by another physician coach, a surgeon, was Unhealthy Perfectionism, briefly mentioning how our thoughts affect our emotions and a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 09, 2025
assumptions
avoidance
awareness
coaching
curiosity
empathy
engagement
grace
insight
intent
interpretation
mindset
patience
perception
presence
projection
reflection
silence
uncertainty
vulnerability
The Spectacle Reflection
Back when my youngest daughter was on the high school track team, I sat in stands cheering her team on. I was watching the guys race the 1600 meters. The front two were neck and neck on the last curve. Suddenly one collapsed.
You know those times when you are thankful for a timely article or lect...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 09, 2025
accpetance
awareness
courage
embarrassment
emotion
empathy
grace
growth
humanity
humor
perspective
presence
processing
recovery
reflection
resilience
response
support
survival
vulnerability
Giving Reflection
This week, in the spirit of giving - I invite you to consider who you might gift a unique gift to.
The gift of extending positive intent is powerful.
I once coached a resident who felt a particular attending "had it out for him." He reviewed the evidence. I asked if there was any other way to see...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 08, 2025
awareness
burnout
coaching
cognitive reframing
compassion
emotional intelligence
empathy
gratitude
growth
insight
intent
leadership
medicine
mindset
perspective
perspective shift
positive intent
reflection
reframing
relationships
resilience
suffering
teaching
wellness
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
