Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: communication
Showing 12 results:
A Christmas Epiphany (From the Archives)
Early in our marriage, we lived in an ongoing renovation of a historic home. It had an entryway with stairs wrapping up to the second floor, creating the ideal spot for our Christmas tree. We would take the girls to the tree farm and pick out the largest one with near-perfect branches and set it ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 23, 2026
adaptation
awareness
balance
behavior
calm
change
clarity
cognition
communication
conflict
connection
control
emotion
environment
family
growth
habits
holidays
influence
innner dialogue
joy
marriage
mindset
narrative
perfectionism
perspective
psychology
reflection
regulation
relationships
resilience
self awareness
soundtracks
stress
thinking
traditions
trigger
wellbeing
Don't Game Tape Alone
Last week, I was sitting in a hotel conference room in Chicago at the AMA Precision Medicine Conference listening to Dr. Lara Varpio from the Perelman School of Medicine talk about agency. Not the vague "you have more power than you think" kind, but the research kind.
She offered four of the six ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 04, 2026
advising
agency
awareness
coaching
collaboration
communication
connection
constraints
conversation
culture
data
development
discursive
education
empowerment
faculty
feedback
growth
guidance
improvement
insight
leadership
learning
meaning
medicine
mentorship
mindset
partnership
performance
practice
reflection
relational
relationships
residency
self-awareness
support
systemic
systems
temporal
transformation
trust
Say It Again
Recently, something happened in a meeting that used to bother me, but now I find it fascinating.
I was catching a colleague up who had missed the previous meeting. We had left one decision unresolved: where to place a particular talk. I mentioned the option we had discussed and asked for her take...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Mar 13, 2026
alignment
attention
awareness
behavior
clarity
cognition
collaboration
communication
complexity
culture
curiosity
decision making
distration
dynamics
focus
grace
group
hearing
inattention
information
insight
integration
leaders
leadership
learning
listening
management
meetings
message
messaging
miscommunication
neuroscience
patience
patterns
perception
processing
psychology
reflection
reinforcement
reminders
repetition
signals
strategy
teamwork
understanding
workplace
What Renovation Taught Me About Teams
My husband and I are back in the messy middle of building.
We are not a strangers to it. We completely renovated a historic home over seven years and our Alaskan home over ten, with my husband acting as contractor, doing the work he enjoyed and subbing the rest out.
And now, we’re building remote...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Mar 13, 2026
adaptation
alignment
behavior
building
change
clarity
co-creation
collaboration
communication
conflict
construction
creativity
decision making
development
dynamics
expectations
forming
friction
group
growth
homebuilding
innovation
leadership
learning
marriage
mindset
organization
partnership
patience
performing
problem solving
process
progress
reflection
remodel
renovation
resilience
satisfaction
storming
structure
teams
teamwork
transformation
uncertainty
vision
Tools and Strategies
Mindset
I always spend a lot of time on mindset. It is foundational and under-discussed. However, if we only change mindset without also learning strategies and new tools, many things will stay the same.
For instance, you may have a whole new outlook on your inbox. But if you want to improve comm...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Feb 27, 2026
accountability
alignment
assertiveness
awareness
boundaries
burnout
clarity
cognitive load
communication
compassion
conflict
decision making
development
efficiency
emotional intelligence
empowerment
energy management
execution
feedback
focus
growth
intentionality
kindness
leadership
mindset
ownership
perspective
prevention
prioritization
proactivity
processes
productivity
professionalism
psychological safety
reactivity
reflection
relationships
repair
resilience
respect
response
sbar
self-efficacy
self-leadership
self-regulation
strategy
structure
systems
triage
A Ditch on Each Side of the Road (and How to Avoid Them)
Leadership often feels like driving a narrow road. You’re trying to keep the vehicle moving forward, but there’s a ditch on each side that can take you out if you drift too far.
Recently I had the chance to moderate an STFM GME Leadership Panel with three seasoned leaders in academic medicine — D...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
accountability
balance
boundaries
burnout
collaboration
communication
creativity
delegation
development
discipline
efficiency
empowerment
engagement
feedback
focus
growth
leadership
longevity
mentoship
mindset
organization
oversight
perspective
prioritization
reflection
resilience
skillset
strategy
structure
support
sustainability
time
transparency
vision
Quiet Quitting, Nike’s Reframe, and the Real Risk in Medicine
Quiet quitting is no longer just a workplace buzzword. A new study in Family Medicine described how residency leaders are seeing disengagement, professionalism concerns, and strategic “time protection” among trainees. The authors traced this disengagement back to multiple causes: generational shi...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 13, 2025
burnout
challenges
collaboration
commitment
communication
cringe culture
discernment
disengagement
education
efficiency
effort
faculty
frustration
generations
growth
mentorship
motivation
patient care
professionalism
quiet quitting
rebranding
reflection
residency
selectivity
sustainability
systemic pressures
time protection
trainees
trust
work values
workplace
Power of Conversation, Story and Invitation
A thoughtful reader recently wrote in and asked me: “How did you build the strong relationships you have with specialists?”
At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My brain went to the tactical: referrals, shared patients, thank-yous. (These are still paramount. Doing your due diligence with worku...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 02, 2025
assumptions
collaboration
communication
community
connection
consistency
conversation
curiosity
empathy
engagement
fallibility
grace
gratitude
habit
humanity
initiative
intentionality
invitation
listening
mindset
overwhelm
participation
perfectionism
presence
professionalism
reflection
relationships
respect
support
trust
vulnerability
How We Think Shapes What We See: Story and Reflection
When I mentioned last month that I was heading to Las Vegas to see the Eagles play in the Sphere, more than one person responded with a look of surprise, post-Super Bowl: “You’re going to a football game?”
That moment—a simple case of mistaken reference—got me thinking about how our assumptions a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
alignment
assumptions
awareness
beliefs
clarity
coaching
communication
culture
development
dynamics
evaluations
expectations
feedback
frustration
growth
insight
interpretation
mindsets
modeling
perception
reflection
reframing
support
trust
understanding
The Draft Reflection
At the start of the pandemic, my primary role was in a private practice setting, though I still filled in as faculty at the residency (as I do now).
In our group of six physicians and one PA, we were constantly using every resource available to stay up to date on the ever-evolving science—what it...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
adaptability
advocacy
balance
bandwidth
burnout
collaboration
communication
community
drafting
educaiton
energy management
information fatigue
leadership
misinformation
overload
pacing
perspective
priorities
public health
recovery
reflection
regulation
resilience
resource sharing
solidarity
support
sustainability
teamwork
trust
uncertainty
Reflection: The Adventure of Conversation
I had just turned a group of faculty workshop participants loose to help each other work on short term career goals & to do so by practicing their new coaching skills with each other.
I encouraged them to keep their advice-monster at bay. (See Michael Bungay Stanier's The Advice Trap).
When they ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
advice trap
awareness
co-creation
coaching
communication
connection
curiosity
discovery
empathy
engagement
exploration
facilitation
growth
guidance
insight
interaction
learning
listening
mindset
non-judgment
openness
pattern recognition
physician habit
practice
presence
reflection
restraint
storytelling
transformation
trust
Reflecting on Two Things
In preparing for the AMWA Evolve Leadership Course for trainees session on Difficult Conversations, I've been reflecting on principles from Crucial Conversations, Super Communicators, Non-Violent Communication, and How to Work with Almost Anyone (all highly recommended books).
We often fall into ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
awareness
balance
binary thinking
communication
compassion
complexity
conflict resolution
contradiction
curiosity
discernment
emotional intelligence
empathy
fool's choice
grace
growth
honesty
kindness
labeling
mindset
nuance
overgeneralization
paradox
perspective
polarity thinking
reflection
relationship
self-regulation
truth
understanding
wake
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
