Seat Swapping Story and Reflection

During our 30th anniversary trip, we explored new locales and discovered fantastic small restaurants that locals were trying hard to keep off TripAdvisor. One such gem was in Mainz, a cozy outdoor setting with beautiful ivy over the brick walls and around the fencing.

If you have ever eaten out with my husband, you know he is most comfortable with his back against the wall, evidently to see all potential enemy combatants, though he's never been in the military or law enforcement. I only care about getting the comfiest seat, and after 30 years, we have a system worked out. He takes the seat against the wall unless it's a comfy bench seat with a regular chair across from it, and then I get the wall.

That's the exact set-up on the particular night in Mainz. Halfway through a very lovely and relaxing dinner, he said, "Do you want to switch seats?" It was an odd request. I wondered if his "spidey senses" were kicking in or something. I looked around and at him - he appeared calm and maybe a bit amused, so I didn't feel the need to change.

"No, I'm good." I could tell he was trying to keep a straight face at this point, but for whatever reason, I just dropped it and went on with the meal. Occasionally, I noticed he was suppressing some emotion, but couldn't tell what it was... it didn't seem like restlessness or panic. After dinner, as we were standing to leave, he said something like, "Whew. Disaster averted."

As it turned out, a little mouse had been running back and forth behind my head along the ivy-covered trellis all evening! He just knew the little creature would end up on my shoulder or head at any moment. He didn't want to say anything because he knew I'd jump-up, scream, and cause a scene. And that I HATE attention being drawn to me!

He had read the scene, knew me very well, and proceeded with the choice that held the best odds for a good outcome overall.

We often have to make tough calls where certainty doesn't exist. Many of them more consequential than a potential embarrassing scene or an encounter with Mickey's German cousin.

Though the risk may be higher, the process is the same. You tell yourself the truth about the likelihood of various outcomes, reign in the catastrophizing, gather the info you need, trust your gut, and make the best decision with the information you have at the time. And you know, no matter the outcome, you can deal with it or recruit others to help you.

Reflection. In what situations do you need to calmly make the most accurate assessments, fill the knowledge gaps possible, trust your gut, and stop spinning in indecision? Remind yourself - look for positive evidence - you're actually good at decisions and uncertainty. Decide by deciding - make the next best decision.

Speaking of decisions, I now have decided to modify the seating rule - I get the comfy seat against the wall - indoors only!