Burger Surprise: Story and Reflection

As many of you know, my husband loves to cook and is quite good at it. I had learned to make only two meals before marriage (I avoided the kitchen despite my mom's pleading). But I was suddenly eager to impress my husband with my expanding culinary feats. In those early days of wedding bliss, there were two creative meals I excitedly made for him that led to, well, shall we say, the loss of his culinary trust.

I'll only tell you of the first (yes, the second is that bad 😆). The first I called Surprise Burger Night! Doesn't it sound fun?! I had heard women at work talking about making mini medallion burgers and how you could choose whatever spice to add unique flavors.

Well, we received one of those turntable spice racks as a wedding gift... (you see where this is going?)  So, knowing absolutely nothing about spices, I put a different 'surprise spice' - two or three - in each small patty. (I may also not have known to add salt 🤷). I'm not really a hamburger lover, so I didn't plan on eating them but sat to watch his expression with each one.

He wanted to avoid hurting my feelings, so he tried to keep a brave face. After the third quarter-sized one, he said, "Thank you, I'm done." I was kind of shocked since they were so small, and I knew he loved hamburgers.

I finally asked, “So, which was your favorite?” He said after a long pause, "Uh, do me a favor, and let's not put surprise burgers on the menu anymore."

Later, when he knew I could handle it, he told me how truly awful they were - no salt, WAY too many random spices that didn't go together, though he really appreciated the thought and effort behind it.

That was over 30 years ago, and we still laugh about it. 😂 I guess there are 2 take-home points.

1. Being open, kind, and honest is a good thing. Can you imagine if he led me to believe I'd pulled off a gourmet meal?! He would have continued to have to choke those suckers down every 4th night! 😳 And while I was disappointed it hadn't turned out like I had imagined, I would rather know the truth.
2. The second is to never give up—persevere in learning. I have grown tremendously with my gastronomic prowess- ha. Though he still remains the primary chef, I have been promoted to sous chef; we love cooking together and eating.

It took practice and educated experimentation, but now, I'm pretty darn good at knowing what spices go together and how much to mix and match with foods (and that a little salt is helpful 😉).

Reflection: In what situations do you need to accept that someone may be disappointed, but it's better to be open, kind, and honest? What skill set(s) are you giving up on, accepting limiting beliefs, and choosing to stay in a fixed mindset? How can you challenge it? And what's the first step you need to take? How can you see it as the beginning of a PDSA cycle?

Also, an announcement: (Shh! 🤫 My husband doesn't know it yet). Now that I've grown in my confidence in the kitchen - I am bringing back Surprise Burger Night 🎉 😂