Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: support
Showing 12 results:
Team Culture: Boundaries, Generosity, and Trust
For me, Fall is closely associated with sports. College football, one of the primary ones, but also volleyball after years of being a volleyball mom.
I have a few friends who find sports a bit pedestrian, too focused on competition, and something they’ve never really understood the appeal of. I...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 18, 2026
accountability
adaptability
belonging
boundaries
burnout
career
coaching
collaboration
communication
community
competition
confidence
connection
cooperation
culture
development
empathy
flexibility
generosity
growth
growth mindset
healthcare
leadership
learning
medicine
mentorship
partnership
physicians
positive intent
reciprocity
recovery
reliability
residency
resilience
self-preservation
sports
sportsmanship
support
sustainability
team culture
teaming
teammates
teamwork
trust
volleyball
vulnerability
workload
workplace
Caring Enough to Tell the Truth
I’ve been reflecting on a situation someone close to me recently faced in her work as a consultant.
She was brought into a high-stakes situation by her boss, who had asked her to help a close friend. The friend believed that other people involved in an important transition were the problem. Her a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 28, 2026
accountability
advocacy
boundaries
candor
care
clinicians
coaching
communication
compassion
conflict
courage
development
dignity
education
empathy
evaluation
expectations
faculty
fairness
feedback
growth
healthcare
honesty
integrity
leadership
learning
medicine
mentorship
patient care
performance
professionalism
reflection
relationships
remediation
residency
residents
responsibility
standards
supervision
support
teaching
transparency
trust
truth
Friendships on Purpose
I’m writing from my kitchen counter, sitting on one of the few things not making the journey to Washington: our kitchen stools.
Behind me, three people are wrapping and taping up nearly everything we own. They start loading the truck tomorrow. We are down to one drawer, one cabinet, one coffee ma...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 14, 2026
#bemyfriend
alaska
anchorage
authenticity
ballard
belonging
community
companionship
conference
connection
courage
encouragement
friendship
friendship building
girdwood
gratitude
intentionality
invitation
kindness
medicine
memories
mentorship
moving
networking
physicians
presence
purpose
reflection
relationships
relocation
resilience
retirement
reunion
storyslam
storytelling
support
transition
vulnerability
washington
wellbeing
women
The Price of Value
This week's theme comes straight from Facebook Marketplace.
My husband (who is not a social media guy) asked me to list his Kubota skid steer for "69-9."
So I did.
I had just sold his utility trailer for $2,200, so I entered all the details, uploaded the photos, and hit Publish.
Within seconds, s...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 17, 2026
abundance
advocacy
appreciation
authenticity
awareness
belief
business
compensation
confidence
contribution
courage
empowerment
encouragement
entrepreneurship
expertise
family medicine
financial health
generosity
gratitude
growth
identity
impact
influence
leadership
medicine
mentorship
mindset
negotiation
opportunity
perception
perspective
physicians
purpose
recognition
reflection
self-advocacy
self-worth
service
support
sustainability
undervaluing
validation
value
visibility
worth
worthiness
The Tyranny of the Unfamiliar
Recently, I brought a situation to my coach because I was concerned I might be facing an ethical dilemma.
As we worked through it together, it became clear I was actually on solid ground.
What I was experiencing wasn't an ethics issue. It was just discomfort.
What's interesting is that I've sat w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 26, 2026
acceptance
adaptability
adaptation
adjustment
agility
awareness
calibration
capacity
chagne
challenge
coaching
confidence
coping
courage
curiosity
development
discomfort
emotional-intelligence
endurance
enviornment
experience
familiarity
flexibility
growth
leadership
learning
mentorship
mindfulness
mindset
perseverance
perspective
planning
preparation
problem solving
progress
readiness
recovery
reflection
resilience
resourcing
self-awareness
strategy
support
sustainability
transformation
uncertainty
wellbeing
The Impact We Don't Always See
I came across a piece from Sahil Bloom not too long ago about the “Stonecutter Principle,” which is so relatable to the work I do.
In case you’re not familiar with the story - a quick recap: three stonecutters doing the same work but describing it very differently: cutting stone, building a wall,...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 14, 2026
administration
awareness
burnout
caregiving
cathedral
compassion
connection
documentation
empathy
forms
fulfillment
gratitude
growth
healing
healthcare
humanity
impact
leadership
legacy
meaning
medicine
mindset
motivation
patient care
perspective
physician
purpose
purposeful work
quality of life
reflection
reframing
relationships
resilience
service
stonecutter
storytelling
support
values
Don't Game Tape Alone
Last week, I was sitting in a hotel conference room in Chicago at the AMA Precision Medicine Conference listening to Dr. Lara Varpio from the Perelman School of Medicine talk about agency. Not the vague "you have more power than you think" kind, but the research kind.
She offered four of the six ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 04, 2026
advising
agency
awareness
coaching
collaboration
communication
connection
constraints
conversation
culture
data
development
discursive
education
empowerment
faculty
feedback
growth
guidance
improvement
insight
leadership
learning
meaning
medicine
mentorship
mindset
partnership
performance
practice
reflection
relational
relationships
residency
self-awareness
support
systemic
systems
temporal
transformation
trust
When Effort Feels Right
A couple of weeks ago, my friend, colleague, and physician advocate Dr. Sasha Shillcutt wrote something that grabbed my attention:
“Can we all stop shaming women who work hard?”
It resonated.
The pendulum has needed to swing toward rest and boundaries for a long time. We’ve finally begun to norma...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 14, 2025
agency
alignment
autonomy
awareness
balance
boundaries
burnout
choice
clarity
compassion
curiosity
discipline
effort
energy
expectations
flow
fulfillment
inquiry
insight
intention
judgment
mindfulness
obligation
overload
passion
people pleasing
perfectionism
perspective
priorities
purpose
recovery
reflection
reset
rest
self-care
shame
signals
support
sustainability
tells
validation
wellbeing
work
A Ditch on Each Side of the Road (and How to Avoid Them)
Leadership often feels like driving a narrow road. You’re trying to keep the vehicle moving forward, but there’s a ditch on each side that can take you out if you drift too far.
Recently I had the chance to moderate an STFM GME Leadership Panel with three seasoned leaders in academic medicine — D...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
accountability
balance
boundaries
burnout
collaboration
communication
creativity
delegation
development
discipline
efficiency
empowerment
engagement
feedback
focus
growth
leadership
longevity
mentoship
mindset
organization
oversight
perspective
prioritization
reflection
resilience
skillset
strategy
structure
support
sustainability
time
transparency
vision
Beyond Labels: Story and Reflection
It’s not infrequent that I’m in conversation with a faculty member who’s frustrated with one or two residents they see as lazy or disengaged. Those moments take me right back to how I sometimes felt a decade ago, when I was burned out in my core faculty role. I remember the intensity of that frus...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 22, 2025
barriers
burnout
connection
conversations
criticism
curiosity
data
defesiveness
drive
efficiency
energy
engagement
exhuastion
experience
feedback
frustration
gaps
growth
immersion
interviewing
labels
language
learning
minset
motivation
nuance
patience
perspective
procrastination
quality
rapport
reflection
remediation
repitition
resources
responsibility
safety
strengths
support
trust
understanding
Power of Conversation, Story and Invitation
A thoughtful reader recently wrote in and asked me: “How did you build the strong relationships you have with specialists?”
At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My brain went to the tactical: referrals, shared patients, thank-yous. (These are still paramount. Doing your due diligence with worku...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 02, 2025
assumptions
collaboration
communication
community
connection
consistency
conversation
curiosity
empathy
engagement
fallibility
grace
gratitude
habit
humanity
initiative
intentionality
invitation
listening
mindset
overwhelm
participation
perfectionism
presence
professionalism
reflection
relationships
respect
support
trust
vulnerability
Right Pause, Right Time Story and Reflection
Years ago, I was leading a medical team in Southeast Asia after the tsunami. Infrastructure was gone, local health workers were either missing or tending to their own communities, and our team, hosted by a local NGO, was running long, hot, and emotionally heavy days.
One morning, something was of...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 31, 2025
awareness
breath
burnout
clarity
cohesion
compassion
connection
emotion
gratitude
healing
humanity
insight
intention
leadership
listening
medicine
mindfulness
observation
pause
perspective
presence
purpose
recovery
reflection
resilience
restoration
support
sustainability
teamwork
wellbeing
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
