Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: support
Showing 12 results:
When Effort Feels Right
A couple of weeks ago, my friend, colleague, and physician advocate Dr. Sasha Shillcutt wrote something that grabbed my attention:
“Can we all stop shaming women who work hard?”
It resonated.
The pendulum has needed to swing toward rest and boundaries for a long time. We’ve finally begun to norma...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 14, 2025
agency
alignment
autonomy
awareness
balance
boundaries
burnout
choice
clarity
compassion
curiosity
discipline
effort
energy
expectations
flow
fulfillment
inquiry
insight
intention
judgment
mindfulness
obligation
overload
passion
people pleasing
perfectionism
perspective
priorities
purpose
recovery
reflection
reset
rest
self-care
shame
signals
support
sustainability
tells
validation
wellbeing
work
A Ditch on Each Side of the Road (and How to Avoid Them)
Leadership often feels like driving a narrow road. You’re trying to keep the vehicle moving forward, but there’s a ditch on each side that can take you out if you drift too far.
Recently I had the chance to moderate an STFM GME Leadership Panel with three seasoned leaders in academic medicine — D...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
accountability
balance
boundaries
burnout
collaboration
communication
creativity
delegation
development
discipline
efficiency
empowerment
engagement
feedback
focus
growth
leadership
longevity
mentoship
mindset
organization
oversight
perspective
prioritization
reflection
resilience
skillset
strategy
structure
support
sustainability
time
transparency
vision
Beyond Labels: Story and Reflection
It’s not infrequent that I’m in conversation with a faculty member who’s frustrated with one or two residents they see as lazy or disengaged. Those moments take me right back to how I sometimes felt a decade ago, when I was burned out in my core faculty role. I remember the intensity of that frus...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 22, 2025
barriers
burnout
connection
conversations
criticism
curiosity
data
defesiveness
drive
efficiency
energy
engagement
exhuastion
experience
feedback
frustration
gaps
growth
immersion
interviewing
labels
language
learning
minset
motivation
nuance
patience
perspective
procrastination
quality
rapport
reflection
remediation
repitition
resources
responsibility
safety
strengths
support
trust
understanding
Power of Conversation, Story and Invitation
A thoughtful reader recently wrote in and asked me: “How did you build the strong relationships you have with specialists?”
At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My brain went to the tactical: referrals, shared patients, thank-yous. (These are still paramount. Doing your due diligence with worku...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 02, 2025
assumptions
collaboration
communication
community
connection
consistency
conversation
curiosity
empathy
engagement
fallibility
grace
gratitude
habit
humanity
initiative
intentionality
invitation
listening
mindset
overwhelm
participation
perfectionism
presence
professionalism
reflection
relationships
respect
support
trust
vulnerability
Right Pause, Right Time Story and Reflection
Years ago, I was leading a medical team in Southeast Asia after the tsunami. Infrastructure was gone, local health workers were either missing or tending to their own communities, and our team, hosted by a local NGO, was running long, hot, and emotionally heavy days.
One morning, something was of...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 31, 2025
awareness
breath
burnout
clarity
cohesion
compassion
connection
emotion
gratitude
healing
humanity
insight
intention
leadership
listening
medicine
mindfulness
observation
pause
perspective
presence
purpose
recovery
reflection
resilience
restoration
support
sustainability
teamwork
wellbeing
Freedom Reflection
As we mark Independence Day, I find myself drawn to a quieter kind of patriotism. Instead of fireworks and fanfare, the steady work of building systems where physicians and learners can thrive.
It shows up in faculty who pause long enough to ask better questions.
In leaders willing to shift from ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 11, 2025
change
coaching
compassion
connection
freedom
hope
interdependence
leadership
learning
listening
patriotism
reflection
support
systemic
truth
The Award Not Won: Story and Reflection
It’s that season again. Graduation programs. Thank-you speeches. Awards. A flurry of new titles, public praise, and quiet appreciation.
We do this because it matters. Recognition is powerful. Appreciation even more so. But in the messiness of human systems, it doesn’t always land how we intend.
I...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 27, 2025
acknowledgment
alignment
appreciation
authenticity
belonging
care
celebration
community
compassion
connection
contribution
encouragement
equity
gratitude
humanity
humility
impact
inclusion
integrity
leadership
mentorship
mindfulness
presence
process
purpose
recognition
reflection
service
stewardship
support
systems
values
visibility
well-being
Keep Digging (And Savor the Moments Along the Way)
Dinner was beautiful. A nice evening, bold flavors, shared stories of challenge & success, and laughter with friends who are in simlar trenches.
The meal came with this quote came tucked in tableware:
“Work. Keep digging your well. Water is there somewhere.”
It stayed with me—not just because it...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
community
connection
depth
digging
effort
endurance
flow
fulfillment
grit
grounding
hope
meaning
nourishment
patience
persistence
presence
process
resilience
savoring
season
stillness
support
uncertainty
waiting
work
How We Think Shapes What We See: Story and Reflection
When I mentioned last month that I was heading to Las Vegas to see the Eagles play in the Sphere, more than one person responded with a look of surprise, post-Super Bowl: “You’re going to a football game?”
That moment—a simple case of mistaken reference—got me thinking about how our assumptions a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
alignment
assumptions
awareness
beliefs
clarity
coaching
communication
culture
development
dynamics
evaluations
expectations
feedback
frustration
growth
insight
interpretation
mindsets
modeling
perception
reflection
reframing
support
trust
understanding
The Power of a Smile: Story and Reflection
During the half-day virtual faculty development workshop that I co-led this past week, one thing stood out to me: my co-presenter, Dr. Rae Wright, was always smiling and actively present. Her smile looked so genuine—like she was truly enjoying hearing me speak and appreciating how I was presentin...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
appreciation
attentiveness
attunement
authenticity
belonging
co-facilitation
confidence
connection
culture
encouragement
encouragement culture
energy transfer
grace
light
micro-affirmation
nonverbal communication
positivity
presence
psychological safety
renewal
small gestures
smile
smile power
support
validation
warmth
zoom fatigue buffer
Residency 2.0 Story and Reflection
As most of you know, though my full-time work is in coaching within residency programs, I’ve stayed clinically active—filling in both at the Alaska Family Medicine Residency and Anchorage Neighborhood Health, our local FQHC.
Since 2007, I’ve had the privilege of watching over 200 residents grow, ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
affirmation
appreciation
belonging
calm
calm contagion
community
connection
continuity
culture
emotional contagion
gratitude
groundedness
healing environment
intentionality
joy in medicine
kindness
leadership
legacy
mentorship
organizational health
ripple effect
role modeling
support
systems thinking
workplace culture
workplace wellbeing
The Draft Reflection
At the start of the pandemic, my primary role was in a private practice setting, though I still filled in as faculty at the residency (as I do now).
In our group of six physicians and one PA, we were constantly using every resource available to stay up to date on the ever-evolving science—what it...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
adaptability
advocacy
balance
bandwidth
burnout
collaboration
communication
community
drafting
educaiton
energy management
information fatigue
leadership
misinformation
overload
pacing
perspective
priorities
public health
recovery
reflection
regulation
resilience
resource sharing
solidarity
support
sustainability
teamwork
trust
uncertainty
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
