Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: resilience
Showing 12 results:
Suitcases, Constraints, and Where Possibility Lives
Last week, I wrote about a familiar moment in medicine: when you’ve used every skillful form of influence you have (data, stories, coalitions, reframing) and nothing moves. When effort stops matching outcome, (high importance, low control, and your influence stalls), there are a few ways forward....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 12, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
agency
burnout
constraint
control
creativity
energy
flexibility
impact
influence
leadership
limits
navigation
possibility
problem-solving
reframing
resilience
strategy
systems
Grateful for Rejection? A Post-Thanksgiving Reflection
If you’re feeling maxed out on gratitude messages this month, you’re not alone. The day after Thanksgiving tends to expose the gap between the gratitude we’re “supposed” to feel and how our brains actually work. That gap is where the science gets interesting. So instead of another round of holida...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
acceptance
awareness
bias
burnout
clarity
disappointment
ego
gratitude
growth
happiness
insight
mindfulness
mindset
mood
negativity
perspective
positivity
psychology
purpose
reflection
reframing
resilience
sleep
stress
Providing Entertainment in Lane 1
Last week a few things converged and culminated in me taking something head on that I’d been avoiding.
First, spectating an Ironman a couple weeks ago. There’s something about being around real athletes who train hard and perform at that level. Inspiring for sure. That swim tho’…
Second, planning...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
awareness
beginner
commitment
confidence
courage
discipline
discomfort
embarassment
fear
growth
humility
improvement
inspiration
integrity
learning
mindset
motivation
persistence
practice
progress
reflection
resilience
self-talk
swimming
technique
vulnerability
Learning to Hold the Tension
The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.”
We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched.
We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest.
We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all.
...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
acceptance
adjustment
agency
alignment
awareness
balance
boundaries
boundedness
caring
clarity
compassion
connection
courage
deliberation
disappointment
discernment
equanimity
ethics
harmony
integrity
intentionality
leadership
navigation
polarity
presence
prioritization
reflection
resilience
responsibility
restraint
self-care
tension
Endurance, Recovery, and Trust: What Medicine Can Learn from an Ironman
I logged 24,000 steps a couple of weeks ago, not competing, just spectating. Cheering at an Ironman turned out to be its own endurance event!
Somewhere between the cowbells and the cheers, I found myself thinking about what it really takes to sustain that kind of effort. Not just on race day and ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
adaptability
adaptation
awareness
balance
discipline
effort
endurance
flow
focus
integration
microbreaks
momentum
patience
persistence
preparation
presence
process
recovery
recovery load
reflection
resilience
restraint
savoring
threshold
training
trust
Reflection: Between the Gates
On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me.
For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
adaptation
adjustment
alignment
attention
awareness
balance
boundaries
calm
centering
compassion
connection
energy
equilibrium
flow
focus
grace
grounding
humanity
integration
intention
leadership
mindfulness
patience
pause
perspective
preparation
presence
recovery
reflection
regulation
renewal
reset
resilience
restoration
rhythm
self-awareness
space
stillness
sustainability
transition
A Ditch on Each Side of the Road (and How to Avoid Them)
Leadership often feels like driving a narrow road. You’re trying to keep the vehicle moving forward, but there’s a ditch on each side that can take you out if you drift too far.
Recently I had the chance to moderate an STFM GME Leadership Panel with three seasoned leaders in academic medicine — D...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
accountability
balance
boundaries
burnout
collaboration
communication
creativity
delegation
development
discipline
efficiency
empowerment
engagement
feedback
focus
growth
leadership
longevity
mentoship
mindset
organization
oversight
perspective
prioritization
reflection
resilience
skillset
strategy
structure
support
sustainability
time
transparency
vision
Not Everyone Gets a Seat at Your Table
In clinical & academic medicine, and in leadership, “they” shows up a lot.
They’ll think I’m a joke.
They can tell I don’t belong.
They are totally judging me.
But here’s the problem: “they” rarely has a face. A faceless crowd gets invited to our mental table of influence, and suddenly we’re serv...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 29, 2025
academia
boundaries
clarity
colleagues
comparison
critics
crowd
decisions
discernment
doubt
energy
fear
feedback
growth
influence
judgment
leaders
leadership
medicine
overgeneralization
perspective
power
reflection
resilience
source
table
voices
worth
The Power of a Pen: Story and Reflection
Sometimes autonomy doesn’t start with a policy change or a big career decision. Sometimes it starts with… a pen.
Last week, I listened to Dr. Jeff Haney, Vice Dean for Clinical Affairs at WSU Elson S. Floyd COM, share a story during a session on emotional intelligence. He described a night on cal...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 22, 2025
agency
autonomy
awareness
burnout
choice
connection
empowerment
engagement
fulfillment
identity
intentionality
mindset
resilience
well-being
Right Pause, Right Time Story and Reflection
Years ago, I was leading a medical team in Southeast Asia after the tsunami. Infrastructure was gone, local health workers were either missing or tending to their own communities, and our team, hosted by a local NGO, was running long, hot, and emotionally heavy days.
One morning, something was of...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 31, 2025
awareness
breath
burnout
clarity
cohesion
compassion
connection
emotion
gratitude
healing
humanity
insight
intention
leadership
listening
medicine
mindfulness
observation
pause
perspective
presence
purpose
recovery
reflection
resilience
restoration
support
sustainability
teamwork
wellbeing
Lessons in the Messy Middle Reflection
“Celebrate the abundance within troubles.” – Will Miller, MD, Annals of Family Medicine, 2010 📸 Thanks to Jay Fetter for the reminder and this powerful slide in Atlanta last week where the year long STFM CBME pilot project wrapped up.
The CBME pilot participants showed us what it looks like to le...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 19, 2025
abundance
adaptation
breakthrough
challenge
change
clarity
complexity
courage
culture
curiosity
design
discovery
experimentation
failure
growth
innovation
insight
leadership
learning
meaning
momentum
optimism
persistence
progress
purpose
reflection
resilience
tension
transformation
uncertainty
Keep Digging (And Savor the Moments Along the Way)
Dinner was beautiful. A nice evening, bold flavors, shared stories of challenge & success, and laughter with friends who are in simlar trenches.
The meal came with this quote came tucked in tableware:
“Work. Keep digging your well. Water is there somewhere.”
It stayed with me—not just because it...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
community
connection
depth
digging
effort
endurance
flow
fulfillment
grit
grounding
hope
meaning
nourishment
patience
persistence
presence
process
resilience
savoring
season
stillness
support
uncertainty
waiting
work
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
