Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: relationships
Showing 12 results:
Acting Out of Character
A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee.
With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort.
Now she is facin...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 04, 2026
adaptability
adaptation
alignment
authentic leadership
authenticity
awareness
behavior
boundaries
coaching
communicaiton
communication style
confidence
congruence
connection
courage
development
emotional awareness
emotional intelligence
expression
extroversion
fulfillment
growth
identity
influence
integrity
interpersonal
introversion
leadership
motivation
performance
personal growth
personality
presence
psychology
purpose
purposefulness
reflection
relationships
renewal
resilience
restoration
self-abandonment
self-acceptance
self-awareness
self-expression
teaching
temperament
values
vulnerability
wellbeing
Caring Enough to Tell the Truth
I’ve been reflecting on a situation someone close to me recently faced in her work as a consultant.
She was brought into a high-stakes situation by her boss, who had asked her to help a close friend. The friend believed that other people involved in an important transition were the problem. Her a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 28, 2026
accountability
advocacy
boundaries
candor
care
clinicians
coaching
communication
compassion
conflict
courage
development
dignity
education
empathy
evaluation
expectations
faculty
fairness
feedback
growth
healthcare
honesty
integrity
leadership
learning
medicine
mentorship
patient care
performance
professionalism
reflection
relationships
remediation
residency
residents
responsibility
standards
supervision
support
teaching
transparency
trust
truth
Friendships on Purpose
I’m writing from my kitchen counter, sitting on one of the few things not making the journey to Washington: our kitchen stools.
Behind me, three people are wrapping and taping up nearly everything we own. They start loading the truck tomorrow. We are down to one drawer, one cabinet, one coffee ma...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 14, 2026
#bemyfriend
alaska
anchorage
authenticity
ballard
belonging
community
companionship
conference
connection
courage
encouragement
friendship
friendship building
girdwood
gratitude
intentionality
invitation
kindness
medicine
memories
mentorship
moving
networking
physicians
presence
purpose
reflection
relationships
relocation
resilience
retirement
reunion
storyslam
storytelling
support
transition
vulnerability
washington
wellbeing
women
Pick Up the Phone
A couple of weeks ago, I was juggling multiple time-sensitive projects when someone began doing work which I felt was mine to do, that I wanted to do, and in an order that made no sense to me.
I initially reacted from momentary frustration.
Becoming a coach does not uninstall the old neural pathw...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 31, 2026
acceptance
activation
adaptability
awareness
breathing
burnout
centering
compassion
connection
creativity
curiosity
emotional intelligence
emotions
empathy
grounding
growth
learning
mindfulness
mindset
nervous system
neuroscience
pathways
patience
perspective
reactions
reflection
regulation
relationships
residency
resilience
responding
self-awareness
self-regulation
stress
transformation
trust
wellness
The River Gets Wider
Just prior to marrying my husband, his dad handed us an article torn from a magazine. It used the imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage.
The gist that stuck with my young mind was:1. Don’t be shocked by the rapids. They’re a natural outcome of two forces merging.2. Marriage w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 25, 2026
acceptance
adaptability
adaptation
adjustment
balance
becoming
career
change
coaching
commitment
confidence
courage
endurance
expectations
flexibility
gratitude
growth
hope
imperfection
joy
leadership
life transitions
marriage
medicine
mindset
navigation
partnership
perseverance
perspective
physicians
preparation
presence
progress
purpose
rapids
recovery
reflection
relationships
renewal
resilience
self-copmpassion
stability
strength
transformation
transition
trust
uncertainty
wellbeing
whitewater
The Penstock Paradox
I've been catching up on Lisa Rosenbaum's Not Otherwise Specified podcast series on primary care. https://not-otherwise-specified-podcast.nejm.org/e/when-no-ones-watching/
The final episode is titled When No One's Watching.
Near the end, Jonathan Han, a family physician and residency director, ta...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 23, 2026
alignment
artistry
authenticity
balance
burnout
caring
community
compassion
connection
contribution
creativity
encouragement
energy
engagement
excellence
flourishing
fulfillment
generosity
gratidtude
humanity
impact
influence
inspiration
intentionality
joy
kindness
leadership
legacy
meaning
mentorship
motivation
presence
purpose
purpose driven
regognition
rejuvenation
relationships
relection
renewal
resilience
restoration
service
significance
stewardship
sustainability
values
wellbeing
Cognitive Dissonance (From the Archives)
Growing up, my world consisted of good kids like Spook, Ryan, Barry, Jean, and Christy. Especially Jean, she would draw fun pictures and write nice things in a note folded up for me at school: "To Tonya, my friend. From: Jean, your friend." There were bad kids like Eddie - who would come to our s...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 07, 2026
acceptance
accountability
ambiguity
authenticity
balance
boundaries
change
character
cognitive dissonance
compassion
compelxity
complexity
conflict
conviction
courage
discernment
emotional intelligence
empathy
ethics
forgiveness
grief
growth
humanity
humility
integrity
judgment
leadership
learning
loyalty
maturity
medicine
nuance
perspective
physicians
principles
reconciliation
refleciotn
reflection
relationships
resilience
respect
sadness
self-awareness
trust
understanding
values
wisdom
The Hidden Curriculum of a Career
Over the past several weeks, I’ve introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with.
He’s a mid-career family physician struggling with a career dilemma I hear often: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel like...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 06, 2026
adaptation
appreciation
becoming
career
clarity
communication
community
conribution
culture
development
discernment
evolution
experience
expertise
fulfillment
gratitude
growth
impact
insight
intentionality
knowledge
leadership
learning
legacy
maturity
meaning
medicine
mentorship
operations
perspective
physicians
progress
purpose
recognition
reflection
relationships
renewal
resilience
self-awareness
stewardship
sustainability
systems
teaching
teamwork
transformation
wisdom
John and the Honeymoon Effect
Last week I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician wrestling with a career dilemma I hear very frequently: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave m...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 17, 2026
adaptation
awareness
balance
burnout
career
career change
clarity
coaching
cognition
compassion
contentment
curiosity
decision making
development
feedback
fulfillment
growth
healthcare
identity
insight
intentionality
leadership
learning
medicine
mindset
motivation
negativity bias
patterns
perspective
physician
psychology
purpose
reflection
relationships
resilience
self-assessment
self-awareness
systems
transitions
wellbeing
The Impact We Don't Always See
I came across a piece from Sahil Bloom not too long ago about the “Stonecutter Principle,” which is so relatable to the work I do.
In case you’re not familiar with the story - a quick recap: three stonecutters doing the same work but describing it very differently: cutting stone, building a wall,...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 14, 2026
administration
awareness
burnout
caregiving
cathedral
compassion
connection
documentation
empathy
forms
fulfillment
gratitude
growth
healing
healthcare
humanity
impact
leadership
legacy
meaning
medicine
mindset
motivation
patient care
perspective
physician
purpose
purposeful work
quality of life
reflection
reframing
relationships
resilience
service
stonecutter
storytelling
support
values
A Christmas Epiphany (From the Archives)
Early in our marriage, we lived in an ongoing renovation of a historic home. It had an entryway with stairs wrapping up to the second floor, creating the ideal spot for our Christmas tree. We would take the girls to the tree farm and pick out the largest one with near-perfect branches and set it ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 23, 2026
adaptation
awareness
balance
behavior
calm
change
clarity
cognition
communication
conflict
connection
control
emotion
environment
family
growth
habits
holidays
influence
innner dialogue
joy
marriage
mindset
narrative
perfectionism
perspective
psychology
reflection
regulation
relationships
resilience
self awareness
soundtracks
stress
thinking
traditions
trigger
wellbeing
Don't Game Tape Alone
Last week, I was sitting in a hotel conference room in Chicago at the AMA Precision Medicine Conference listening to Dr. Lara Varpio from the Perelman School of Medicine talk about agency. Not the vague "you have more power than you think" kind, but the research kind.
She offered four of the six ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 04, 2026
advising
agency
awareness
coaching
collaboration
communication
connection
constraints
conversation
culture
data
development
discursive
education
empowerment
faculty
feedback
growth
guidance
improvement
insight
leadership
learning
meaning
medicine
mentorship
mindset
partnership
performance
practice
reflection
relational
relationships
residency
self-awareness
support
systemic
systems
temporal
transformation
trust
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
