Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: presence
Showing 12 results:
Learning to Hold the Tension
The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.”
We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched.
We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest.
We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all.
...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
acceptance
adjustment
agency
alignment
awareness
balance
boundaries
boundedness
caring
clarity
compassion
connection
courage
deliberation
disappointment
discernment
equanimity
ethics
harmony
integrity
intentionality
leadership
navigation
polarity
presence
prioritization
reflection
resilience
responsibility
restraint
self-care
tension
Endurance, Recovery, and Trust: What Medicine Can Learn from an Ironman
I logged 24,000 steps a couple of weeks ago, not competing, just spectating. Cheering at an Ironman turned out to be its own endurance event!
Somewhere between the cowbells and the cheers, I found myself thinking about what it really takes to sustain that kind of effort. Not just on race day and ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
adaptability
adaptation
awareness
balance
discipline
effort
endurance
flow
focus
integration
microbreaks
momentum
patience
persistence
preparation
presence
process
recovery
recovery load
reflection
resilience
restraint
savoring
threshold
training
trust
Reflection: Between the Gates
On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me.
For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
adaptation
adjustment
alignment
attention
awareness
balance
boundaries
calm
centering
compassion
connection
energy
equilibrium
flow
focus
grace
grounding
humanity
integration
intention
leadership
mindfulness
patience
pause
perspective
preparation
presence
recovery
reflection
regulation
renewal
reset
resilience
restoration
rhythm
self-awareness
space
stillness
sustainability
transition
Power of Conversation, Story and Invitation
A thoughtful reader recently wrote in and asked me: “How did you build the strong relationships you have with specialists?”
At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My brain went to the tactical: referrals, shared patients, thank-yous. (These are still paramount. Doing your due diligence with worku...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 02, 2025
assumptions
collaboration
communication
community
connection
consistency
conversation
curiosity
empathy
engagement
fallibility
grace
gratitude
habit
humanity
initiative
intentionality
invitation
listening
mindset
overwhelm
participation
perfectionism
presence
professionalism
reflection
relationships
respect
support
trust
vulnerability
Right Pause, Right Time Story and Reflection
Years ago, I was leading a medical team in Southeast Asia after the tsunami. Infrastructure was gone, local health workers were either missing or tending to their own communities, and our team, hosted by a local NGO, was running long, hot, and emotionally heavy days.
One morning, something was of...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 31, 2025
awareness
breath
burnout
clarity
cohesion
compassion
connection
emotion
gratitude
healing
humanity
insight
intention
leadership
listening
medicine
mindfulness
observation
pause
perspective
presence
purpose
recovery
reflection
resilience
restoration
support
sustainability
teamwork
wellbeing
Story and Reflection: What Success Really Looks Like
As a new academic year begins—fresh name badges, new roles, different rhythms—I’ve been returning to a question I first heard from Dr. Kerri Palamara, a national leader in coaching in graduate medical education and Director of the Center for Physician Well-Being at Massachusetts General Hospital....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 11, 2025
agency
alignment
aspirations
authenticity
awareness
belonging
career
clarity
coaching
compassion
connection
curiosity
fulfillment
growth
intention
meaning
navigation
pause
perspective
presence
purpose
redefinition
reflection
relationships
success
transformation
values
well-being
wholeness
The Award Not Won: Story and Reflection
It’s that season again. Graduation programs. Thank-you speeches. Awards. A flurry of new titles, public praise, and quiet appreciation.
We do this because it matters. Recognition is powerful. Appreciation even more so. But in the messiness of human systems, it doesn’t always land how we intend.
I...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 27, 2025
acknowledgment
alignment
appreciation
authenticity
belonging
care
celebration
community
compassion
connection
contribution
encouragement
equity
gratitude
humanity
humility
impact
inclusion
integrity
leadership
mentorship
mindfulness
presence
process
purpose
recognition
reflection
service
stewardship
support
systems
values
visibility
well-being
Mise en Place for the Mind
One of my coachees recently identified the missing link in his project workflow. (Thanks for the metaphor, Michael Caçoilo! - shared with permission.)
He had developed the right structure for him: breaking big tasks into smaller chunks and blocking time to get them done. But something still felt ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 21, 2025
awareness
clarity
coaching
connection
efficiency
engagement
execution
focus
habits
insight
intentionality
leadership
metaphor
mindset
mise-en-place
planning
pre-work
preparation
presence
productivity
professionalism
readiness
reflection
structure
time blocking
trust
workflow
Keep Digging (And Savor the Moments Along the Way)
Dinner was beautiful. A nice evening, bold flavors, shared stories of challenge & success, and laughter with friends who are in simlar trenches.
The meal came with this quote came tucked in tableware:
“Work. Keep digging your well. Water is there somewhere.”
It stayed with me—not just because it...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
community
connection
depth
digging
effort
endurance
flow
fulfillment
grit
grounding
hope
meaning
nourishment
patience
persistence
presence
process
resilience
savoring
season
stillness
support
uncertainty
waiting
work
Leaders and Legacy Reflection
When physicians or faculty leaders are struggling in their roles—or with certain parts of them—I often ask:
"When you think of a leader you admire, what qualities stand out?"
They usually name things such as integrity. Strength. Clinical wisdom. Courage. Kindness. Collaboration.
And almost always...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
admiration
awareness
balance
boundaries
capacity
choice
clarity
courage
decline
dedication
delegation
discomfort
expansion
growth
impact
influence
integrity
kindness
leaders
leadership
legacy
modeling
possibility
presence
purpose
rolemodeling
streamline
strength
sustainability
tension
wisdom
Story and Reflection: Mining for Value
Recently, I noticed that a member of our team had quietly pulled back. I knew she had experience—she’d been introduced as someone who had worked with universities, served as a legislative liaison, and helped stand up GME programs. She had consistently offered thoughtful perspectives, often seeing...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
awareness
confidence
confidence without arrogance
contribution over ego
curiosity
deep listening
dignity
drawing out strengths
experience
experience matters
expertise
hidden
hidden assets
hidden strength
honoring the whole person
humility
inclusive leadership
influence beyond title
invitational leadership
leadership
legacy
listening
mining
mining for gold
presence
quiet contributors
reactivation
recognition
relational leadership
respectul curiosity
storytelling
strength
team awareness
undervalued
undervalued expertise
unseen
unseen wisdom
wisdom
The Extra Mile - Story and Reflection
Recently, I’ve been supporting my mom from afar as she’s gone through a complicated health issue. Like many patients, she didn’t show up with a single neat explanation. She had two separate issues—Occam’s razor didn’t apply. That alone created delays and misdirection, but this story isn’t about w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
bandwidth
care
care over efficiency
clarity
connection
discernment
effort
empathy
experience informed action
family perspective
generosity
going above and beyond
gratitude
groundedness
healing
healing moments
humanity
intention
leadership
meaningful
meaningful effort
medicine
pacing
perspective
physician humanity
presence
prioritization
professionalism
relational medicine
right effort right moment
silent leadership
timing
wisdom
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
