Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: presence

Showing 12 results:

Two men played chess a few evenings near the main path before dinner. It was entertaining to pass by and see them deep in strategic concentration. One night, two photos were taken about twenty minutes apart from different angles. In the first, the light, sky, and ocean make it feel expansive. So ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 21, 2026 aperture awareness chess contrast curiosity discourse empathy flexibility framing gratitude growth humility insight interpretation leadership lens light love medicine metaphor mindfulness mindset narrative perception perspective presence psychology reflection relationships strategy vantage

Beauty and Belonging Discovered After Change (From the Archives)

When we moved from Florida to Alaska in 2007, it wasn't necessarily a big hit with our teenage girls. My oldest moved off to college saying she would visit us but she wasn't "moving out of the country." My youngest, was about to start 8th grade and had strong opinions about leaving her friends an...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 18, 2026 acceptance adaptation adolescence alaska awareness beauty belonging change community discovery family gratitude growth home identity impermanence intentin joy mindfulness nature perspective presence refleciton reflection resilience transformation transition

Self-induced Blindspots

One time during a record snowfall winter, we ended up with a weekend alone. Our teenage daughter had been picked up by friends for the weekend. We decided to head downtown for a nice dinner. We took my car. As I was backing up our steep long drive, looking over my shoulder, the car jolted to a su...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 09, 2026 accountability assumptions attention automation awareness bias choice cognition expectations growth habits humility identity insgiht intention learning medicine metacognition mindfulness mindset neuropathways neuroscience parallels perception presence psychology reflection safety selfworth subconcious

Holding Pattern

This is Week 4 of a 5-part series exploring those moments when you care deeply about an issue, and nothing you do seems to move the needle. So far, we’ve looked at three different approaches to that situation: • Week 1: Redefining success when outcomes aren’t changing • Week 2: Navigating real co...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jan 09, 2026 academia agency alignment ambiguity becoming belonging calling choice clarity coaching dignity discernment endurance engagement equilibrium fulfillment holding identity leadership liminality maturity meaning medicine middle patience physicians presence process purpose resilience restraint steadiness tension threshold timing transition uncertainty urgency values wisdom worth

Learning to Hold the Tension

The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.” We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched. We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest. We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all. ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 07, 2025 acceptance adjustment agency alignment awareness balance boundaries boundedness caring clarity compassion connection courage deliberation disappointment discernment equanimity ethics harmony integrity intentionality leadership navigation polarity presence prioritization reflection resilience responsibility restraint self-care tension

Endurance, Recovery, and Trust: What Medicine Can Learn from an Ironman

I logged 24,000 steps a couple of weeks ago, not competing, just spectating. Cheering at an Ironman turned out to be its own endurance event! Somewhere between the cowbells and the cheers, I found myself thinking about what it really takes to sustain that kind of effort. Not just on race day and ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 07, 2025 adaptability adaptation awareness balance discipline effort endurance flow focus integration microbreaks momentum patience persistence preparation presence process recovery recovery load reflection resilience restraint savoring threshold training trust

Reflection: Between the Gates

On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me. For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 10, 2025 adaptation adjustment alignment attention awareness balance boundaries calm centering compassion connection energy equilibrium flow focus grace grounding humanity integration intention leadership mindfulness patience pause perspective preparation presence recovery reflection regulation renewal reset resilience restoration rhythm self-awareness space stillness sustainability transition

Power of Conversation, Story and Invitation

A thoughtful reader recently wrote in and asked me: “How did you build the strong relationships you have with specialists?” At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My brain went to the tactical: referrals, shared patients, thank-yous. (These are still paramount. Doing your due diligence with worku...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 02, 2025 assumptions collaboration communication community connection consistency conversation curiosity empathy engagement fallibility grace gratitude habit humanity initiative intentionality invitation listening mindset overwhelm participation perfectionism presence professionalism reflection relationships respect support trust vulnerability

Right Pause, Right Time Story and Reflection

Years ago, I was leading a medical team in Southeast Asia after the tsunami. Infrastructure was gone, local health workers were either missing or tending to their own communities, and our team, hosted by a local NGO, was running long, hot, and emotionally heavy days. One morning, something was of...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 31, 2025 awareness breath burnout clarity cohesion compassion connection emotion gratitude healing humanity insight intention leadership listening medicine mindfulness observation pause perspective presence purpose recovery reflection resilience restoration support sustainability teamwork wellbeing

Story and Reflection: What Success Really Looks Like

As a new academic year begins—fresh name badges, new roles, different rhythms—I’ve been returning to a question I first heard from Dr. Kerri Palamara, a national leader in coaching in graduate medical education and Director of the Center for Physician Well-Being at Massachusetts General Hospital....

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 11, 2025 agency alignment aspirations authenticity awareness belonging career clarity coaching compassion connection curiosity fulfillment growth intention meaning navigation pause perspective presence purpose redefinition reflection relationships success transformation values well-being wholeness

The Award Not Won: Story and Reflection

It’s that season again. Graduation programs. Thank-you speeches. Awards. A flurry of new titles, public praise, and quiet appreciation. We do this because it matters. Recognition is powerful. Appreciation even more so. But in the messiness of human systems, it doesn’t always land how we intend. I...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 27, 2025 acknowledgment alignment appreciation authenticity belonging care celebration community compassion connection contribution encouragement equity gratitude humanity humility impact inclusion integrity leadership mentorship mindfulness presence process purpose recognition reflection service stewardship support systems values visibility well-being

Mise en Place for the Mind

One of my coachees recently identified the missing link in his project workflow. (Thanks for the metaphor, Michael Caçoilo! - shared with permission.) He had developed the right structure for him: breaking big tasks into smaller chunks and blocking time to get them done. But something still felt ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 21, 2025 awareness clarity coaching connection efficiency engagement execution focus habits insight intentionality leadership metaphor mindset mise-en-place planning pre-work preparation presence productivity professionalism readiness reflection structure time blocking trust workflow

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: presence

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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