Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: presence
Showing 12 results:
Acting Out of Character
A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee.
With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort.
Now she is facin...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 04, 2026
adaptability
adaptation
alignment
authentic leadership
authenticity
awareness
behavior
boundaries
coaching
communicaiton
communication style
confidence
congruence
connection
courage
development
emotional awareness
emotional intelligence
expression
extroversion
fulfillment
growth
identity
influence
integrity
interpersonal
introversion
leadership
motivation
performance
personal growth
personality
presence
psychology
purpose
purposefulness
reflection
relationships
renewal
resilience
restoration
self-abandonment
self-acceptance
self-awareness
self-expression
teaching
temperament
values
vulnerability
wellbeing
Friendships on Purpose
I’m writing from my kitchen counter, sitting on one of the few things not making the journey to Washington: our kitchen stools.
Behind me, three people are wrapping and taping up nearly everything we own. They start loading the truck tomorrow. We are down to one drawer, one cabinet, one coffee ma...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 14, 2026
#bemyfriend
alaska
anchorage
authenticity
ballard
belonging
community
companionship
conference
connection
courage
encouragement
friendship
friendship building
girdwood
gratitude
intentionality
invitation
kindness
medicine
memories
mentorship
moving
networking
physicians
presence
purpose
reflection
relationships
relocation
resilience
retirement
reunion
storyslam
storytelling
support
transition
vulnerability
washington
wellbeing
women
The River Gets Wider
Just prior to marrying my husband, his dad handed us an article torn from a magazine. It used the imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage.
The gist that stuck with my young mind was:1. Don’t be shocked by the rapids. They’re a natural outcome of two forces merging.2. Marriage w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 25, 2026
acceptance
adaptability
adaptation
adjustment
balance
becoming
career
change
coaching
commitment
confidence
courage
endurance
expectations
flexibility
gratitude
growth
hope
imperfection
joy
leadership
life transitions
marriage
medicine
mindset
navigation
partnership
perseverance
perspective
physicians
preparation
presence
progress
purpose
rapids
recovery
reflection
relationships
renewal
resilience
self-copmpassion
stability
strength
transformation
transition
trust
uncertainty
wellbeing
whitewater
The Penstock Paradox
I've been catching up on Lisa Rosenbaum's Not Otherwise Specified podcast series on primary care. https://not-otherwise-specified-podcast.nejm.org/e/when-no-ones-watching/
The final episode is titled When No One's Watching.
Near the end, Jonathan Han, a family physician and residency director, ta...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 23, 2026
alignment
artistry
authenticity
balance
burnout
caring
community
compassion
connection
contribution
creativity
encouragement
energy
engagement
excellence
flourishing
fulfillment
generosity
gratidtude
humanity
impact
influence
inspiration
intentionality
joy
kindness
leadership
legacy
meaning
mentorship
motivation
presence
purpose
purpose driven
regognition
rejuvenation
relationships
relection
renewal
resilience
restoration
service
significance
stewardship
sustainability
values
wellbeing
Back to Now: When the Clock Stops Judging You
A physician I was coaching recently brought this to a session:
“I’m always running late in clinic.”
If you work in medicine in this day and age, you know that reality.
But as we slowed it down, she noticed something important:
‘Late’ has judgment.
The actual data?
She walked into the room at 10:3...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Mar 27, 2026
acceptance
attention
awareness
balance
calm
clarity
coaching
compassion
data
decision making
efficiency
effort
emotion
focus
healthcare
insight
judgment
medicine
mental health
midnfulness
observation
organization
overwhelm
patient care
perception
performance
perspective
physician
presence
prioritization
process
productivity
reflection
reslience
self-awareness
self-compassion
stress
surgeon
thoughts
wellbeing
workflow
Same Game, Different Frame
Two men played chess a few evenings near the main path before dinner. It was entertaining to pass by and see them deep in strategic concentration.
One night, two photos were taken about twenty minutes apart from different angles.
In the first, the light, sky, and ocean make it feel expansive. So ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Feb 21, 2026
aperture
awareness
chess
contrast
curiosity
discourse
empathy
flexibility
framing
gratitude
growth
humility
insight
interpretation
leadership
lens
light
love
medicine
metaphor
mindfulness
mindset
narrative
perception
perspective
presence
psychology
reflection
relationships
strategy
vantage
Beauty and Belonging Discovered After Change (From the Archives)
When we moved from Florida to Alaska in 2007, it wasn't necessarily a big hit with our teenage girls. My oldest moved off to college saying she would visit us but she wasn't "moving out of the country." My youngest, was about to start 8th grade and had strong opinions about leaving her friends an...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Feb 18, 2026
acceptance
adaptation
adolescence
alaska
awareness
beauty
belonging
change
community
discovery
family
gratitude
growth
home
identity
impermanence
intentin
joy
mindfulness
nature
perspective
presence
refleciton
reflection
resilience
transformation
transition
Self-induced Blindspots
One time during a record snowfall winter, we ended up with a weekend alone. Our teenage daughter had been picked up by friends for the weekend. We decided to head downtown for a nice dinner. We took my car. As I was backing up our steep long drive, looking over my shoulder, the car jolted to a su...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Feb 09, 2026
accountability
assumptions
attention
automation
awareness
bias
choice
cognition
expectations
growth
habits
humility
identity
insgiht
intention
learning
medicine
metacognition
mindfulness
mindset
neuropathways
neuroscience
parallels
perception
presence
psychology
reflection
safety
selfworth
subconcious
Holding Pattern
This is Week 4 of a 5-part series exploring those moments when you care deeply about an issue, and nothing you do seems to move the needle.
So far, we’ve looked at three different approaches to that situation: • Week 1: Redefining success when outcomes aren’t changing • Week 2: Navigating real co...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 09, 2026
academia
agency
alignment
ambiguity
becoming
belonging
calling
choice
clarity
coaching
dignity
discernment
endurance
engagement
equilibrium
fulfillment
holding
identity
leadership
liminality
maturity
meaning
medicine
middle
patience
physicians
presence
process
purpose
resilience
restraint
steadiness
tension
threshold
timing
transition
uncertainty
urgency
values
wisdom
worth
Learning to Hold the Tension
The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.”
We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched.
We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest.
We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all.
...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
acceptance
adjustment
agency
alignment
awareness
balance
boundaries
boundedness
caring
clarity
compassion
connection
courage
deliberation
disappointment
discernment
equanimity
ethics
harmony
integrity
intentionality
leadership
navigation
polarity
presence
prioritization
reflection
resilience
responsibility
restraint
self-care
tension
Endurance, Recovery, and Trust: What Medicine Can Learn from an Ironman
I logged 24,000 steps a couple of weeks ago, not competing, just spectating. Cheering at an Ironman turned out to be its own endurance event!
Somewhere between the cowbells and the cheers, I found myself thinking about what it really takes to sustain that kind of effort. Not just on race day and ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
adaptability
adaptation
awareness
balance
discipline
effort
endurance
flow
focus
integration
microbreaks
momentum
patience
persistence
preparation
presence
process
recovery
recovery load
reflection
resilience
restraint
savoring
threshold
training
trust
Reflection: Between the Gates
On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me.
For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
adaptation
adjustment
alignment
attention
awareness
balance
boundaries
calm
centering
compassion
connection
energy
equilibrium
flow
focus
grace
grounding
humanity
integration
intention
leadership
mindfulness
patience
pause
perspective
preparation
presence
recovery
reflection
regulation
renewal
reset
resilience
restoration
rhythm
self-awareness
space
stillness
sustainability
transition
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
