Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: perception

Showing 12 results:

Recently, something happened in a meeting that used to bother me, but now I find it fascinating. I was catching a colleague up who had missed the previous meeting. We had left one decision unresolved: where to place a particular talk. I mentioned the option we had discussed and asked for her take...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Mar 13, 2026 alignment attention awareness behavior clarity cognition collaboration communication complexity culture curiosity decision making distration dynamics focus grace group hearing inattention information insight integration leaders leadership learning listening management meetings message messaging miscommunication neuroscience patience patterns perception processing psychology reflection reinforcement reminders repetition signals strategy teamwork understanding workplace

Same Game, Different Frame

Two men played chess a few evenings near the main path before dinner. It was entertaining to pass by and see them deep in strategic concentration. One night, two photos were taken about twenty minutes apart from different angles. In the first, the light, sky, and ocean make it feel expansive. So ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 21, 2026 aperture awareness chess contrast curiosity discourse empathy flexibility framing gratitude growth humility insight interpretation leadership lens light love medicine metaphor mindfulness mindset narrative perception perspective presence psychology reflection relationships strategy vantage

Self-induced Blindspots

One time during a record snowfall winter, we ended up with a weekend alone. Our teenage daughter had been picked up by friends for the weekend. We decided to head downtown for a nice dinner. We took my car. As I was backing up our steep long drive, looking over my shoulder, the car jolted to a su...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 09, 2026 accountability assumptions attention automation awareness bias choice cognition expectations growth habits humility identity insgiht intention learning medicine metacognition mindfulness mindset neuropathways neuroscience parallels perception presence psychology reflection safety selfworth subconcious

Story and Reflection: What Story are You Telling?

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk The Danger of a Single Story is one of my all-time favorites. She warns how a narrow narrative can distort the way we see people, cultures, even whole countries. But the danger of a single story doesn’t stop there. It shows up in how we see ourselves. The Singl...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 28, 2025 advocacy belonging coaching confidence doubt event evidence growth humility identity judgment lens meaning medicine narrative perception perspective proof reassurance reflection resident retelling story strengths stress supervisor

How We Think Shapes What We See: Story and Reflection

When I mentioned last month that I was heading to Las Vegas to see the Eagles play in the Sphere, more than one person responded with a look of surprise, post-Super Bowl: “You’re going to a football game?” That moment—a simple case of mistaken reference—got me thinking about how our assumptions a...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 alignment assumptions awareness beliefs clarity coaching communication culture development dynamics evaluations expectations feedback frustration growth insight interpretation mindsets modeling perception reflection reframing support trust understanding

Filtering Voices: Story and Reflection

Like many medical students, I went back and forth on what specialty I really loved. OB/GYN? Sports Medicine? Internal Medicine? Rheum? Endocrine? Psychiatry? Adolescent Medicine? (Yes, all of them!) I also had a fantastic role model in my dad, an outpatient family doc beloved by his patients. And...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 affirmation belonging choice clarity compassion confidence courage decision making doubt encouragement identity influence insecurity integrity internal guidance judgment medical culture mentorship perception power dynamics purpose reassurance reflection respect self-trust soundtracks validation values voice wisdom

Reflection: What's Left?

A couple of years ago, at the BE Conference in Scottsdale, speaker and drama researcher, Cy Wakeman demonstrated a tool she called "Edit Your Story" to a room of hundreds of women physicians. She asked for show of hands of who worked with a difficult person on a regular basis. (I snapped the phot...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 agency boundaries choice clarity cognitive shift community compassion decision making detachment drama editing emotional intelligence empowerment facts groundedness interpretation mindset narrative next step ownership perception perspective reaction reality reframing resilience self-awareness self-regulation story editing workplace

Performance Reflection

I often talk with residents about what I term "performance mode" and how it negatively impacts us. It's that feeling of playing a persona in order to fit the mold, earn praise, and be accepted. We are socialized as we progress through premed and medical school to look for the approval of others -...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 alignment anxiety authenticity autonomy confidence detachment empowerment essence external approval feedback growth identity impact insecurity integrity introspection medical training mindset motivation perception performance mode persona presence reflection resilience self-awareness self-trust self-worth validation worthiness

Twin Perspectives: Story and Reflection

One day a few of years ago, my husband and I started watching Medici - the historical Netflix series set in medieval Italy. The two main brothers looked so much alike during those first two episodes. I kept getting so confused. After asking Mark for the 6th time which brother was speaking, he fin...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 acceptance adjustment attentiveness awareness balance clarity confusion distortion emotional regulation focus humility insight judgment lens mindfulness mindset narrative overwhelm patience perception perspective presence proportion reframe self-awareness self-reflection storytelling strengths values zooming-out

Ziplining Snafu: Story and Reflection

When we explored Alaska with our 13-year-old before our move from Florida 17 years ago, we made sure to make it adventurous for her. We signed up for zip-lining in Ketchikan among the tall Western Hemlocks. I've never been a fan of heights (understatement of the year!), but I was determined. We r...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 action adventure agency behavior choice courage detachment embarassment emotion fear growth identity internalization labeling mindset naming narrative perception personal growth perspective reframing resilience self-awareness self-compassion self-definition self-talk shame transformation validation vulnerability

"Alaskan Tough" Story and Reflection

Memorial Day weekend was the best weather we've had in Anchorage in quite some time. My friend, Kari, a lifelong Alaskan, asked if I wanted to hike Bird Ridge which starts at the Bird Creek parking lot, a popular moderate to difficult 5-mile 3400 ft elevation hike. I've never done it, although mo...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 adaptability assumptions attentiveness automaticity awareness clarity confirmation bias correction curiosity expectation humor identity insight interpretation language listening mindset miscommunication mistake narrative observation overconfidence perception preparation presence readiness realization reflection reframing storytelling

Great Progress Reflection

What's in a subject line? Specifically an email subject line. No, this isn't a reflection on best email practices. Just the power of words. You know how we often keep a dialog going via email by replying to the original one sent, creating a chain of emails? Well, these past couple of weeks, I hav...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 awareness communication correspondence digital dialogue email emotion energy experiment framing impact influence intention interaction language messaging mindfulness mood naming narrative perception priming reflection resonance response subject line tone tone setting word choice

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: perception

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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