Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: growth
Showing 12 results:
The Hallway Experience (From the Archives)
I recently heard the phrase “hallway experience.” It resonated with me.
The hallway represents the waiting period after the quintessential 'one door closes' and before 'another one opens.' For me, the hallway period began somewhat nebulously between the pandemic start and formal coach certific...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 17, 2025
agency
alignment
calling
co-creation
coaching
fulfillment
growth
identity
liminality
meaning
medicine
purpose
reinvention
transition
uncertainty
Grateful for Rejection? A Post-Thanksgiving Reflection
If you’re feeling maxed out on gratitude messages this month, you’re not alone. The day after Thanksgiving tends to expose the gap between the gratitude we’re “supposed” to feel and how our brains actually work. That gap is where the science gets interesting. So instead of another round of holida...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
acceptance
awareness
bias
burnout
clarity
disappointment
ego
gratitude
growth
happiness
insight
mindfulness
mindset
mood
negativity
perspective
positivity
psychology
purpose
reflection
reframing
resilience
sleep
stress
Providing Entertainment in Lane 1
Last week a few things converged and culminated in me taking something head on that I’d been avoiding.
First, spectating an Ironman a couple weeks ago. There’s something about being around real athletes who train hard and perform at that level. Inspiring for sure. That swim tho’…
Second, planning...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
awareness
beginner
commitment
confidence
courage
discipline
discomfort
embarassment
fear
growth
humility
improvement
inspiration
integrity
learning
mindset
motivation
persistence
practice
progress
reflection
resilience
self-talk
swimming
technique
vulnerability
Ask Responsibly
I was thinking recently about how agreeable my AI assistant, Scribbs, is with me. He’s great at coming up with answers in the direction I point him - quick to confirm, validate, or spot what might be off.
It’s a lot like those friends we turn to when we just want someone to agree with us.
But I’v...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 24, 2025
ai
alignment
assumption
awareness
bias
clarity
confirmation
connection
course-correction
criticism
curiosity
detective
dialogue
direction
excitement
exploration
feedback
growth
guidance
humility
impulsivity
inquiry
insight
intention
judgment
learning
listening
meaning-making
mindset
mirror
oversight
perspective
purpose
questions
reflection
reframing
relevance
self-talk
A Ditch on Each Side of the Road (and How to Avoid Them)
Leadership often feels like driving a narrow road. You’re trying to keep the vehicle moving forward, but there’s a ditch on each side that can take you out if you drift too far.
Recently I had the chance to moderate an STFM GME Leadership Panel with three seasoned leaders in academic medicine — D...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
accountability
balance
boundaries
burnout
collaboration
communication
creativity
delegation
development
discipline
efficiency
empowerment
engagement
feedback
focus
growth
leadership
longevity
mentoship
mindset
organization
oversight
perspective
prioritization
reflection
resilience
skillset
strategy
structure
support
sustainability
time
transparency
vision
Story and Reflection: What Story are You Telling?
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk The Danger of a Single Story is one of my all-time favorites. She warns how a narrow narrative can distort the way we see people, cultures, even whole countries.
But the danger of a single story doesn’t stop there. It shows up in how we see ourselves.
The Singl...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 28, 2025
advocacy
belonging
coaching
confidence
doubt
event
evidence
growth
humility
identity
judgment
lens
meaning
medicine
narrative
perception
perspective
proof
reassurance
reflection
resident
retelling
story
strengths
stress
supervisor
Quiet Quitting, Nike’s Reframe, and the Real Risk in Medicine
Quiet quitting is no longer just a workplace buzzword. A new study in Family Medicine described how residency leaders are seeing disengagement, professionalism concerns, and strategic “time protection” among trainees. The authors traced this disengagement back to multiple causes: generational shi...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 13, 2025
burnout
challenges
collaboration
commitment
communication
cringe culture
discernment
disengagement
education
efficiency
effort
faculty
frustration
generations
growth
mentorship
motivation
patient care
professionalism
quiet quitting
rebranding
reflection
residency
selectivity
sustainability
systemic pressures
time protection
trainees
trust
work values
workplace
Not Everyone Gets a Seat at Your Table
In clinical & academic medicine, and in leadership, “they” shows up a lot.
They’ll think I’m a joke.
They can tell I don’t belong.
They are totally judging me.
But here’s the problem: “they” rarely has a face. A faceless crowd gets invited to our mental table of influence, and suddenly we’re serv...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 29, 2025
academia
boundaries
clarity
colleagues
comparison
critics
crowd
decisions
discernment
doubt
energy
fear
feedback
growth
influence
judgment
leaders
leadership
medicine
overgeneralization
perspective
power
reflection
resilience
source
table
voices
worth
Beyond Labels: Story and Reflection
It’s not infrequent that I’m in conversation with a faculty member who’s frustrated with one or two residents they see as lazy or disengaged. Those moments take me right back to how I sometimes felt a decade ago, when I was burned out in my core faculty role. I remember the intensity of that frus...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 22, 2025
barriers
burnout
connection
conversations
criticism
curiosity
data
defesiveness
drive
efficiency
energy
engagement
exhuastion
experience
feedback
frustration
gaps
growth
immersion
interviewing
labels
language
learning
minset
motivation
nuance
patience
perspective
procrastination
quality
rapport
reflection
remediation
repitition
resources
responsibility
safety
strengths
support
trust
understanding
Responsibility Revisited: Story and Reflection
We don’t always talk about guilt in medicine unless it’s framed as toxic or as a byproduct of impossible systems. But some guilt is earned. Some of it’s useful. The kind that nudges us when we’ve strayed from our values. And some is not.
What follows is a story out of several that came to mine fr...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 08, 2025
adaptation
alignment
awareness
character
conscience
deicision
ethics
fatigue
growth
guilt
integrity
judgment
learning
medicine
observation
reflection
residency
responsibility
self-correction
values
Story and Reflection: What Success Really Looks Like
As a new academic year begins—fresh name badges, new roles, different rhythms—I’ve been returning to a question I first heard from Dr. Kerri Palamara, a national leader in coaching in graduate medical education and Director of the Center for Physician Well-Being at Massachusetts General Hospital....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 11, 2025
agency
alignment
aspirations
authenticity
awareness
belonging
career
clarity
coaching
compassion
connection
curiosity
fulfillment
growth
intention
meaning
navigation
pause
perspective
presence
purpose
redefinition
reflection
relationships
success
transformation
values
well-being
wholeness
Lessons in the Messy Middle Reflection
“Celebrate the abundance within troubles.” – Will Miller, MD, Annals of Family Medicine, 2010 📸 Thanks to Jay Fetter for the reminder and this powerful slide in Atlanta last week where the year long STFM CBME pilot project wrapped up.
The CBME pilot participants showed us what it looks like to le...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 19, 2025
abundance
adaptation
breakthrough
challenge
change
clarity
complexity
courage
culture
curiosity
design
discovery
experimentation
failure
growth
innovation
insight
leadership
learning
meaning
momentum
optimism
persistence
progress
purpose
reflection
resilience
tension
transformation
uncertainty
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
