Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: clarity

Showing 12 results:

A Christmas Epiphany (From the Archives)

Early in our marriage, we lived in an ongoing renovation of a historic home. It had an entryway with stairs wrapping up to the second floor, creating the ideal spot for our Christmas tree. We would take the girls to the tree farm and pick out the largest one with near-perfect branches and set it ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 adaptation awareness balance behavior calm change clarity cognition communication conflict connection control emotion environment family growth habits holidays influence innner dialogue joy marriage mindset narrative perfectionism perspective psychology reflection regulation relationships resilience self awareness soundtracks stress thinking traditions trigger wellbeing

Two Kinds of Motivation

I had the chance to host Dr Tyra Fainstad (University of Colorado, Better Together Coaching Founder) for a group coaching session on mindset, and she opened with Self-Determination Theory (SDT). I've loved the topic of SDT since hearing Dr Richard Ryan speak at the IOC Coaching in Leadership and ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 autonomy awareness behavior burnout capability choice clarity coaching cognition competence connection development educaiton emotions engagement extrinsic focus growth habits innercritic intrinsic introjects leadership learning medicine mindset motivation performance physician psychology purpose reflection relatedness resilience self-determination thinking values wellbeing

Back to Now: When the Clock Stops Judging You

A physician I was coaching recently brought this to a session: “I’m always running late in clinic.” If you work in medicine in this day and age, you know that reality. But as we slowed it down, she noticed something important: ‘Late’ has judgment. The actual data? She walked into the room at 10:3...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Mar 27, 2026 acceptance attention awareness balance calm clarity coaching compassion data decision making efficiency effort emotion focus healthcare insight judgment medicine mental health midnfulness observation organization overwhelm patient care perception performance perspective physician presence prioritization process productivity reflection reslience self-awareness self-compassion stress surgeon thoughts wellbeing workflow

Say It Again

Recently, something happened in a meeting that used to bother me, but now I find it fascinating. I was catching a colleague up who had missed the previous meeting. We had left one decision unresolved: where to place a particular talk. I mentioned the option we had discussed and asked for her take...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Mar 13, 2026 alignment attention awareness behavior clarity cognition collaboration communication complexity culture curiosity decision making distration dynamics focus grace group hearing inattention information insight integration leaders leadership learning listening management meetings message messaging miscommunication neuroscience patience patterns perception processing psychology reflection reinforcement reminders repetition signals strategy teamwork understanding workplace

What Renovation Taught Me About Teams

My husband and I are back in the messy middle of building. We are not a strangers to it. We completely renovated a historic home over seven years and our Alaskan home over ten, with my husband acting as contractor, doing the work he enjoyed and subbing the rest out. And now, we’re building remote...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Mar 13, 2026 adaptation alignment behavior building change clarity co-creation collaboration communication conflict construction creativity decision making development dynamics expectations forming friction group growth homebuilding innovation leadership learning marriage mindset organization partnership patience performing problem solving process progress reflection remodel renovation resilience satisfaction storming structure teams teamwork transformation uncertainty vision

Tools and Strategies

Mindset I always spend a lot of time on mindset. It is foundational and under-discussed. However, if we only change mindset without also learning strategies and new tools, many things will stay the same. For instance, you may have a whole new outlook on your inbox. But if you want to improve comm...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 27, 2026 accountability alignment assertiveness awareness boundaries burnout clarity cognitive load communication compassion conflict decision making development efficiency emotional intelligence empowerment energy management execution feedback focus growth intentionality kindness leadership mindset ownership perspective prevention prioritization proactivity processes productivity professionalism psychological safety reactivity reflection relationships repair resilience respect response sbar self-efficacy self-leadership self-regulation strategy structure systems triage

The Myth of Ready

This week, I tried a simple AI morning brain-warm-up experiment at the suggestion of Alex Morgan from The Neuron. I gave ChatGPT this reflective prompt: Share one interesting assumption I might hold without realizing. The response: Sometimes we assume we need clarity before we’re allowed to move....

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 06, 2026 action balance burnout clarity contribution creativity decision default mode direction equlibrium experimentation growth healing insight leadership learning metaphor mindset momentum movement neuroscience paddleboarding progress reassessment recovery reflection resilience rest strategy thinking uncertainty

The Emerging Choice: Staying for the Long Game or Moving On Gracefully

And just like that, it’s 2026! The perfect time for the final piece in a five-part series exploring what helps when you care deeply about something, your influence no longer influences, and meaningful change seems unlikely. Over the past several weeks, I’ve shared a few different approaches to ha...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jan 09, 2026 abundance academia agency alignment calling choice clarity coaching commitment completion culture departure discernment equanimity fulfillment hope identity influence integrity leadership legacy maturity meaning medicine ownership patience physicians purpose renewal resilience scarcity stewardship sustainability systems timing transition values wellbeing wisdom

Holding Pattern

This is Week 4 of a 5-part series exploring those moments when you care deeply about an issue, and nothing you do seems to move the needle. So far, we’ve looked at three different approaches to that situation: • Week 1: Redefining success when outcomes aren’t changing • Week 2: Navigating real co...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jan 09, 2026 academia agency alignment ambiguity becoming belonging calling choice clarity coaching dignity discernment endurance engagement equilibrium fulfillment holding identity leadership liminality maturity meaning medicine middle patience physicians presence process purpose resilience restraint steadiness tension threshold timing transition uncertainty urgency values wisdom worth

When Influence Stops Working: Acceptance Without Endorsement

This is Part 3 of a 5-part series exploring what helps when influence has stopped working. Nothing moves. No matter how much skill, strategy, data, coalition-building, or heart you bring. And it’s something you care deeply about. Earlier pieces focused on redefining success and navigating constra...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jan 09, 2026 academia acceptance adaptation agency alignment boundaries bureaucracy burnout clarity coaching constraint control detachment discernment dynamics dysfunction emotionality endorsement energy equanimity expectations frustration influence leadership letting go maturity medicine ownership predictability prioritization reafctivity reality regulation resilience sobriety stewardship sustainability systems tolerance wisdom

When Influence Stops Influencing

Every physician leader I coach eventually reaches the same moment. They’ve done the work: gathered data, built coalitions, shared meaningful stories, aligned it to the core corporate values, used every bit of their Crucial Conversations skill set, emotionally intelligenced the nuances, and framed...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 10, 2025 acceptance agency alignment boundaries burnout change clarity coalition community connection discernment energy exhaustion frustration influence integrity leadership mentorship metrics perspective process purpose reality reflection regulation resistance strategy systems values

Grateful for Rejection? A Post-Thanksgiving Reflection

If you’re feeling maxed out on gratitude messages this month, you’re not alone. The day after Thanksgiving tends to expose the gap between the gratitude we’re “supposed” to feel and how our brains actually work. That gap is where the science gets interesting. So instead of another round of holida...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 10, 2025 acceptance awareness bias burnout clarity disappointment ego gratitude growth happiness insight mindfulness mindset mood negativity perspective positivity psychology purpose reflection reframing resilience sleep stress

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: clarity

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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