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Two Kinds of Motivation

by Dr. Tonya Caylor
Apr 23, 2026

I had the chance to host Dr Tyra Fainstad (University of Colorado, Better Together Coaching Founder) for a group coaching session on mindset, and she opened with Self-Determination Theory (SDT).

I've loved the topic of SDT since hearing Dr Richard Ryan speak at the IOC Coaching in Leadership and Healthcare Conference in 2021. And Tyra taught us many new connections on SDT as it relates to medical education (stay tuned for her upcoming publication).

One of the things she added that I hadn’t fully appreciated before was how often what we call “motivation” is actually driven by two different sources. A common one is our introjects, those internalized rules that show up as I should. The "Inner Critic." 💡

If asked to label the emotion, most of us might say motivated.

I see this all the time with the physicians I coach. And honestly, with myself.

We’re working hard to do things “right.”

The right note. The right plan. The right way to be a doctor, an educator, a parent.

Even the right way to separate work and life.

The automatic thoughts sound like:

I should get my notes done. I should be more efficient. I should be a good role model.

But it feels unpleasant and pressurized.

And over time, that kind of motivation doesn’t create engagement. It creates resistance...or resentment.

Self-Determination Theory describes the other motivation, one that’s more sustainable and feels pleasant and energizing. It's higher in quality than external carrots and sticks and higher than our introjects. It’s grounded in autonomy, competence, and relatedness.

In simpler terms:

* a sense of choice

* a sense of capability

* and a sense of connection

This wasn’t entirely new information. But it was a new level of precision. Because I’ve taught about the inner critic, “shoulds” thought distortions, and even motivation in medical education. I even taught about discursive agency based on norms. But she helped me see the connections.

Not all motivation is the same.

What’s driving you will shape how the work feels. And we know emotions drive our actions.

So if you're finding yourself avoiding or complaining or distracting yourself, it may be worth a relook at who is driving - is it your inner critic?

Reflection:

If you set aside what you “should” do, what part of this actually matters to you?

What would help this feel more like something you're choosing, capable of, or connected to?

Responses

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