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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: wellbeing

Showing 12 results:


The Penstock Paradox
I've been catching up on Lisa Rosenbaum's Not Otherwise Specified podcast series on primary care. https://not-otherwise-specified-podcast.nejm.org/e/when-no-ones-watching/ The final episode is titled When No One's Watching. Near the end, Jonathan Han, a family physician and residency director, ta...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 23, 2026 alignment artistry authenticity balance burnout caring community compassion connection contribution creativity encouragement energy engagement excellence flourishing fulfillment generosity gratidtude humanity impact influence inspiration intentionality joy kindness leadership legacy meaning mentorship motivation presence purpose purpose driven regognition rejuvenation relationships relection renewal resilience restoration service significance stewardship sustainability values wellbeing
Retroactive Omniscience and Having Your Own Back
Over the past few weeks, we’ve been following “John,” a fictional physician trying to sort through the emotional aftermath of multiple job changes and the growing belief that maybe he was just bad at choosing jobs. In the first edition, he recognized the story he was telling himself and how it wa...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 23, 2026 adaptability adaptation awareness career career change change clarity coaching cognition compassion confidence curiosity decision making development discernment evolution growth healthcare hindsight insight intentionality judgment leadership learning medicine mindset perspective physician psychology purpose refleciton resilience self-awareness self-doubt selftrust shame stress transitions trust wellbeing
John and the Honeymoon Effect
Last week I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician wrestling with a career dilemma I hear very frequently: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave m...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 17, 2026 adaptation awareness balance burnout career career change clarity coaching cognition compassion contentment curiosity decision making development feedback fulfillment growth healthcare identity insight intentionality leadership learning medicine mindset motivation negativity bias patterns perspective physician psychology purpose reflection relationships resilience self-assessment self-awareness systems transitions wellbeing
John's Decision
A common theme I hear from physicians is this: “I’ve lost confidence in my ability to pick a good job because I’m looking to leave…again.” And honestly, healthcare is different than it was decades ago when physicians often stayed in one practice for 30–40 years. Expectations, systems, autonomy, c...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 14, 2026 adaptation autonomy balance burnout career career change change clarity coaching cognition comparison confidence contentment decision making despair fulfillment growth healthcare insight intention job search leadership medicine mindset motivation negativity bias perspective physician psychology purpose reflection resilience self-awareness shame stress systems thought work transition values wellbeing
A Christmas Epiphany (From the Archives)
Early in our marriage, we lived in an ongoing renovation of a historic home. It had an entryway with stairs wrapping up to the second floor, creating the ideal spot for our Christmas tree. We would take the girls to the tree farm and pick out the largest one with near-perfect branches and set it ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 adaptation awareness balance behavior calm change clarity cognition communication conflict connection control emotion environment family growth habits holidays influence innner dialogue joy marriage mindset narrative perfectionism perspective psychology reflection regulation relationships resilience self awareness soundtracks stress thinking traditions trigger wellbeing
Two Kinds of Motivation
I had the chance to host Dr Tyra Fainstad (University of Colorado, Better Together Coaching Founder) for a group coaching session on mindset, and she opened with Self-Determination Theory (SDT). I've loved the topic of SDT since hearing Dr Richard Ryan speak at the IOC Coaching in Leadership and ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 autonomy awareness behavior burnout capability choice clarity coaching cognition competence connection development educaiton emotions engagement extrinsic focus growth habits innercritic intrinsic introjects leadership learning medicine mindset motivation performance physician psychology purpose reflection relatedness resilience self-determination thinking values wellbeing
What the Critic Taught Me
I was talking with a physician recently who started his own practice. Someone had asked about him in a local Facebook group. There were about thirty responses. Not just “he’s good,” but detailed, generous paragraphs about his skill, empathy, time, and care. And then one line: “My mom saw him and ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 adaptability attention awareness beliefs boundaries burnout coaching comparison confidence criticism delegation development emotions empathy feeback focus grace growth identity improvement interpretation leadership learning medicine mentorship mindset narrative perspective physician practice purpose reflection reputation resilience reviews selfworth trigger validation values wellbeing
Back to Now: When the Clock Stops Judging You
A physician I was coaching recently brought this to a session: “I’m always running late in clinic.” If you work in medicine in this day and age, you know that reality. But as we slowed it down, she noticed something important: ‘Late’ has judgment. The actual data? She walked into the room at 10:3...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Mar 27, 2026 acceptance attention awareness balance calm clarity coaching compassion data decision making efficiency effort emotion focus healthcare insight judgment medicine mental health midnfulness observation organization overwhelm patient care perception performance perspective physician presence prioritization process productivity reflection reslience self-awareness self-compassion stress surgeon thoughts wellbeing workflow
The Emerging Choice: Staying for the Long Game or Moving On Gracefully
And just like that, it’s 2026! The perfect time for the final piece in a five-part series exploring what helps when you care deeply about something, your influence no longer influences, and meaningful change seems unlikely. Over the past several weeks, I’ve shared a few different approaches to ha...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jan 09, 2026 abundance academia agency alignment calling choice clarity coaching commitment completion culture departure discernment equanimity fulfillment hope identity influence integrity leadership legacy maturity meaning medicine ownership patience physicians purpose renewal resilience scarcity stewardship sustainability systems timing transition values wellbeing wisdom
When Effort Feels Right
A couple of weeks ago, my friend, colleague, and physician advocate Dr. Sasha Shillcutt wrote something that grabbed my attention: “Can we all stop shaming women who work hard?” It resonated. The pendulum has needed to swing toward rest and boundaries for a long time. We’ve finally begun to norma...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 14, 2025 agency alignment autonomy awareness balance boundaries burnout choice clarity compassion curiosity discipline effort energy expectations flow fulfillment inquiry insight intention judgment mindfulness obligation overload passion people pleasing perfectionism perspective priorities purpose recovery reflection reset rest self-care shame signals support sustainability tells validation wellbeing work
Right Pause, Right Time Story and Reflection
Years ago, I was leading a medical team in Southeast Asia after the tsunami. Infrastructure was gone, local health workers were either missing or tending to their own communities, and our team, hosted by a local NGO, was running long, hot, and emotionally heavy days. One morning, something was of...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 31, 2025 awareness breath burnout clarity cohesion compassion connection emotion gratitude healing humanity insight intention leadership listening medicine mindfulness observation pause perspective presence purpose recovery reflection resilience restoration support sustainability teamwork wellbeing
Pattern Reflection
This week, I invite you to reflect on what patterns you observe in yourself - concerning anything - relationships, lifestyle, planning, mindsets, etc. You likely have some very helpful adaptive patterns and some that may be, well, less supportive of the life you want to live. There is great news ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 adaptation awareness behavior change disruption experimentation growth habits intentionality lifestyle mindfulness mindset observation patterns planning progress reflection resilience transformation wellbeing

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
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