Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: wellbeing

Showing 12 results:

A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee. With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort. Now she is facin...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 04, 2026 adaptability adaptation alignment authentic leadership authenticity awareness behavior boundaries coaching communicaiton communication style confidence congruence connection courage development emotional awareness emotional intelligence expression extroversion fulfillment growth identity influence integrity interpersonal introversion leadership motivation performance personal growth personality presence psychology purpose purposefulness reflection relationships renewal resilience restoration self-abandonment self-acceptance self-awareness self-expression teaching temperament values vulnerability wellbeing

Friendships on Purpose

I’m writing from my kitchen counter, sitting on one of the few things not making the journey to Washington: our kitchen stools. Behind me, three people are wrapping and taping up nearly everything we own. They start loading the truck tomorrow. We are down to one drawer, one cabinet, one coffee ma...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 14, 2026 #bemyfriend alaska anchorage authenticity ballard belonging community companionship conference connection courage encouragement friendship friendship building girdwood gratitude intentionality invitation kindness medicine memories mentorship moving networking physicians presence purpose reflection relationships relocation resilience retirement reunion storyslam storytelling support transition vulnerability washington wellbeing women

The River Gets Wider

Just prior to marrying my husband, his dad handed us an article torn from a magazine. It used the imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage. The gist that stuck with my young mind was:1. Don’t be shocked by the rapids. They’re a natural outcome of two forces merging.2. Marriage w...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 25, 2026 acceptance adaptability adaptation adjustment balance becoming career change coaching commitment confidence courage endurance expectations flexibility gratitude growth hope imperfection joy leadership life transitions marriage medicine mindset navigation partnership perseverance perspective physicians preparation presence progress purpose rapids recovery reflection relationships renewal resilience self-copmpassion stability strength transformation transition trust uncertainty wellbeing whitewater

The Tyranny of the Unfamiliar

Recently, I brought a situation to my coach because I was concerned I might be facing an ethical dilemma. As we worked through it together, it became clear I was actually on solid ground. What I was experiencing wasn't an ethics issue. It was just discomfort. What's interesting is that I've sat w...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 26, 2026 acceptance adaptability adaptation adjustment agility awareness calibration capacity chagne challenge coaching confidence coping courage curiosity development discomfort emotional-intelligence endurance enviornment experience familiarity flexibility growth leadership learning mentorship mindfulness mindset perseverance perspective planning preparation problem solving progress readiness recovery reflection resilience resourcing self-awareness strategy support sustainability transformation uncertainty wellbeing

The Penstock Paradox

I've been catching up on Lisa Rosenbaum's Not Otherwise Specified podcast series on primary care. https://not-otherwise-specified-podcast.nejm.org/e/when-no-ones-watching/ The final episode is titled When No One's Watching. Near the end, Jonathan Han, a family physician and residency director, ta...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 23, 2026 alignment artistry authenticity balance burnout caring community compassion connection contribution creativity encouragement energy engagement excellence flourishing fulfillment generosity gratidtude humanity impact influence inspiration intentionality joy kindness leadership legacy meaning mentorship motivation presence purpose purpose driven regognition rejuvenation relationships relection renewal resilience restoration service significance stewardship sustainability values wellbeing

Retroactive Omniscience and Having Your Own Back

Over the past few weeks, we’ve been following “John,” a fictional physician trying to sort through the emotional aftermath of multiple job changes and the growing belief that maybe he was just bad at choosing jobs. In the first edition, he recognized the story he was telling himself and how it wa...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 23, 2026 adaptability adaptation awareness career career change change clarity coaching cognition compassion confidence curiosity decision making development discernment evolution growth healthcare hindsight insight intentionality judgment leadership learning medicine mindset perspective physician psychology purpose refleciton resilience self-awareness self-doubt selftrust shame stress transitions trust wellbeing

John and the Honeymoon Effect

Last week I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician wrestling with a career dilemma I hear very frequently: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave m...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 17, 2026 adaptation awareness balance burnout career career change clarity coaching cognition compassion contentment curiosity decision making development feedback fulfillment growth healthcare identity insight intentionality leadership learning medicine mindset motivation negativity bias patterns perspective physician psychology purpose reflection relationships resilience self-assessment self-awareness systems transitions wellbeing

John's Decision

A common theme I hear from physicians is this: “I’ve lost confidence in my ability to pick a good job because I’m looking to leave…again.” And honestly, healthcare is different than it was decades ago when physicians often stayed in one practice for 30–40 years. Expectations, systems, autonomy, c...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 14, 2026 adaptation autonomy balance burnout career career change change clarity coaching cognition comparison confidence contentment decision making despair fulfillment growth healthcare insight intention job search leadership medicine mindset motivation negativity bias perspective physician psychology purpose reflection resilience self-awareness shame stress systems thought work transition values wellbeing

A Christmas Epiphany (From the Archives)

Early in our marriage, we lived in an ongoing renovation of a historic home. It had an entryway with stairs wrapping up to the second floor, creating the ideal spot for our Christmas tree. We would take the girls to the tree farm and pick out the largest one with near-perfect branches and set it ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 adaptation awareness balance behavior calm change clarity cognition communication conflict connection control emotion environment family growth habits holidays influence innner dialogue joy marriage mindset narrative perfectionism perspective psychology reflection regulation relationships resilience self awareness soundtracks stress thinking traditions trigger wellbeing

Two Kinds of Motivation

I had the chance to host Dr Tyra Fainstad (University of Colorado, Better Together Coaching Founder) for a group coaching session on mindset, and she opened with Self-Determination Theory (SDT). I've loved the topic of SDT since hearing Dr Richard Ryan speak at the IOC Coaching in Leadership and ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 autonomy awareness behavior burnout capability choice clarity coaching cognition competence connection development educaiton emotions engagement extrinsic focus growth habits innercritic intrinsic introjects leadership learning medicine mindset motivation performance physician psychology purpose reflection relatedness resilience self-determination thinking values wellbeing

What the Critic Taught Me

I was talking with a physician recently who started his own practice. Someone had asked about him in a local Facebook group. There were about thirty responses. Not just “he’s good,” but detailed, generous paragraphs about his skill, empathy, time, and care. And then one line: “My mom saw him and ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 adaptability attention awareness beliefs boundaries burnout coaching comparison confidence criticism delegation development emotions empathy feeback focus grace growth identity improvement interpretation leadership learning medicine mentorship mindset narrative perspective physician practice purpose reflection reputation resilience reviews selfworth trigger validation values wellbeing

Back to Now: When the Clock Stops Judging You

A physician I was coaching recently brought this to a session: “I’m always running late in clinic.” If you work in medicine in this day and age, you know that reality. But as we slowed it down, she noticed something important: ‘Late’ has judgment. The actual data? She walked into the room at 10:3...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Mar 27, 2026 acceptance attention awareness balance calm clarity coaching compassion data decision making efficiency effort emotion focus healthcare insight judgment medicine mental health midnfulness observation organization overwhelm patient care perception performance perspective physician presence prioritization process productivity reflection reslience self-awareness self-compassion stress surgeon thoughts wellbeing workflow

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: wellbeing

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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