Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: self-awareness

Showing 12 results:

A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee. With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort. Now she is facin...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 04, 2026 adaptability adaptation alignment authentic leadership authenticity awareness behavior boundaries coaching communicaiton communication style confidence congruence connection courage development emotional awareness emotional intelligence expression extroversion fulfillment growth identity influence integrity interpersonal introversion leadership motivation performance personal growth personality presence psychology purpose purposefulness reflection relationships renewal resilience restoration self-abandonment self-acceptance self-awareness self-expression teaching temperament values vulnerability wellbeing

Pick Up the Phone

A couple of weeks ago, I was juggling multiple time-sensitive projects when someone began doing work which I felt was mine to do, that I wanted to do, and in an order that made no sense to me. I initially reacted from momentary frustration. Becoming a coach does not uninstall the old neural pathw...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 31, 2026 acceptance activation adaptability awareness breathing burnout centering compassion connection creativity curiosity emotional intelligence emotions empathy grounding growth learning mindfulness mindset nervous system neuroscience pathways patience perspective reactions reflection regulation relationships residency resilience responding self-awareness self-regulation stress transformation trust wellness

The Tyranny of the Unfamiliar

Recently, I brought a situation to my coach because I was concerned I might be facing an ethical dilemma. As we worked through it together, it became clear I was actually on solid ground. What I was experiencing wasn't an ethics issue. It was just discomfort. What's interesting is that I've sat w...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 26, 2026 acceptance adaptability adaptation adjustment agility awareness calibration capacity chagne challenge coaching confidence coping courage curiosity development discomfort emotional-intelligence endurance enviornment experience familiarity flexibility growth leadership learning mentorship mindfulness mindset perseverance perspective planning preparation problem solving progress readiness recovery reflection resilience resourcing self-awareness strategy support sustainability transformation uncertainty wellbeing

Cognitive Dissonance (From the Archives)

Growing up, my world consisted of good kids like Spook, Ryan, Barry, Jean, and Christy. Especially Jean, she would draw fun pictures and write nice things in a note folded up for me at school: "To Tonya, my friend. From: Jean, your friend." There were bad kids like Eddie - who would come to our s...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 07, 2026 acceptance accountability ambiguity authenticity balance boundaries change character cognitive dissonance compassion compelxity complexity conflict conviction courage discernment emotional intelligence empathy ethics forgiveness grief growth humanity humility integrity judgment leadership learning loyalty maturity medicine nuance perspective physicians principles reconciliation refleciotn reflection relationships resilience respect sadness self-awareness trust understanding values wisdom

The Hidden Curriculum of a Career

Over the past several weeks, I’ve introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician struggling with a career dilemma I hear often: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel like...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 06, 2026 adaptation appreciation becoming career clarity communication community conribution culture development discernment evolution experience expertise fulfillment gratitude growth impact insight intentionality knowledge leadership learning legacy maturity meaning medicine mentorship operations perspective physicians progress purpose recognition reflection relationships renewal resilience self-awareness stewardship sustainability systems teaching teamwork transformation wisdom

John Changes the Question

A few weeks ago, I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician facing a career dilemma I hear often: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave my current o...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 29, 2026 adaptation agency alignment authenticity awareness burnout career change clarity coaching compassion connection continuity decision making direction discovery engagement fulfillment growth inquiry insight intention leadership listening meaning medicine mindset perspective physicians purpose reflection renewal resilience self-awareness sustainability teaching transformation transition trust values

Retroactive Omniscience and Having Your Own Back

Over the past few weeks, we’ve been following “John,” a fictional physician trying to sort through the emotional aftermath of multiple job changes and the growing belief that maybe he was just bad at choosing jobs. In the first edition, he recognized the story he was telling himself and how it wa...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 23, 2026 adaptability adaptation awareness career career change change clarity coaching cognition compassion confidence curiosity decision making development discernment evolution growth healthcare hindsight insight intentionality judgment leadership learning medicine mindset perspective physician psychology purpose refleciton resilience self-awareness self-doubt selftrust shame stress transitions trust wellbeing

John and the Honeymoon Effect

Last week I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician wrestling with a career dilemma I hear very frequently: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave m...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 17, 2026 adaptation awareness balance burnout career career change clarity coaching cognition compassion contentment curiosity decision making development feedback fulfillment growth healthcare identity insight intentionality leadership learning medicine mindset motivation negativity bias patterns perspective physician psychology purpose reflection relationships resilience self-assessment self-awareness systems transitions wellbeing

John's Decision

A common theme I hear from physicians is this: “I’ve lost confidence in my ability to pick a good job because I’m looking to leave…again.” And honestly, healthcare is different than it was decades ago when physicians often stayed in one practice for 30–40 years. Expectations, systems, autonomy, c...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 14, 2026 adaptation autonomy balance burnout career career change change clarity coaching cognition comparison confidence contentment decision making despair fulfillment growth healthcare insight intention job search leadership medicine mindset motivation negativity bias perspective physician psychology purpose reflection resilience self-awareness shame stress systems thought work transition values wellbeing

Don't Game Tape Alone

Last week, I was sitting in a hotel conference room in Chicago at the AMA Precision Medicine Conference listening to Dr. Lara Varpio from the Perelman School of Medicine talk about agency. Not the vague "you have more power than you think" kind, but the research kind. She offered four of the six ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 04, 2026 advising agency awareness coaching collaboration communication connection constraints conversation culture data development discursive education empowerment faculty feedback growth guidance improvement insight leadership learning meaning medicine mentorship mindset partnership performance practice reflection relational relationships residency self-awareness support systemic systems temporal transformation trust

Back to Now: When the Clock Stops Judging You

A physician I was coaching recently brought this to a session: “I’m always running late in clinic.” If you work in medicine in this day and age, you know that reality. But as we slowed it down, she noticed something important: ‘Late’ has judgment. The actual data? She walked into the room at 10:3...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Mar 27, 2026 acceptance attention awareness balance calm clarity coaching compassion data decision making efficiency effort emotion focus healthcare insight judgment medicine mental health midnfulness observation organization overwhelm patient care perception performance perspective physician presence prioritization process productivity reflection reslience self-awareness self-compassion stress surgeon thoughts wellbeing workflow

Reflection: Between the Gates

On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me. For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 10, 2025 adaptation adjustment alignment attention awareness balance boundaries calm centering compassion connection energy equilibrium flow focus grace grounding humanity integration intention leadership mindfulness patience pause perspective preparation presence recovery reflection regulation renewal reset resilience restoration rhythm self-awareness space stillness sustainability transition

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: self-awareness

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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