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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: identity

Showing 12 results:


Confessions of a Former Night Owl: Story and Reflection on Identity, Change, and Quiet Growth
We often resist change when it feels like it threatens who we are. But not all change is self-abandonment. Not long ago, someone shared that she felt a surprising amount of grief around changing—even when the change was meant to help a relationship work better. Authenticity was a deeply held valu...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 adaptation adjustment alignment authenticity change commitment curiosity discovery evolution flexibility grief growth habits identity intention mindset motivation openness patterns resistance selfhood surprises transformation values willingness
Filtering Voices: Story and Reflection
Like many medical students, I went back and forth on what specialty I really loved. OB/GYN? Sports Medicine? Internal Medicine? Rheum? Endocrine? Psychiatry? Adolescent Medicine? (Yes, all of them!) I also had a fantastic role model in my dad, an outpatient family doc beloved by his patients. And...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 affirmation belonging choice clarity compassion confidence courage decision making doubt encouragement identity influence insecurity integrity internal guidance judgment medical culture mentorship perception power dynamics purpose reassurance reflection respect self-trust soundtracks validation values voice wisdom
Word of the Year Reflection
Choosing a word of the year provides a simple yet powerful compass that can guide your decisions, actions, and mindset throughout the year. It's like a quick check-in on your purpose statement focused on 2025. As we step into a new year, take 15 minutes to sit quietly with yourself and reflect. A...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 adaptability alignment amalgamation blending choice clarity coaching decision making direction empowerment flexibility focus guidance identity integration intention leadership mentoring mindfulness personal growth purpose reflection resilience roles self-awareness strength transformation transition values word of the year
Performance Reflection
I often talk with residents about what I term "performance mode" and how it negatively impacts us. It's that feeling of playing a persona in order to fit the mold, earn praise, and be accepted. We are socialized as we progress through premed and medical school to look for the approval of others -...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 alignment anxiety authenticity autonomy confidence detachment empowerment essence external approval feedback growth identity impact insecurity integrity introspection medical training mindset motivation perception performance mode persona presence reflection resilience self-awareness self-trust self-worth validation worthiness
The Dilemma: Story and Reflection
Many of you have heard me tell how being a great wife landed me in Alaska from Florida in 2007. It has been a fantastic decision. I don't often talk about the fears I had. I worried about moving an 8th grader away from good friends and the sunny beach to an unknown, cold, dark place (the story of...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 adaptation adjustment all-or-nothing binary thinking career catastrophizing compromise decision making emotional growth expansion fear flexibility gray-area identity mindset narrative opportunity options overthinking parenting perspective problem solving reframing resilience self-awareness success support transition trust vulnerability
Ziplining Snafu: Story and Reflection
When we explored Alaska with our 13-year-old before our move from Florida 17 years ago, we made sure to make it adventurous for her. We signed up for zip-lining in Ketchikan among the tall Western Hemlocks. I've never been a fan of heights (understatement of the year!), but I was determined. We r...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 action adventure agency behavior choice courage detachment embarassment emotion fear growth identity internalization labeling mindset naming narrative perception personal growth perspective reframing resilience self-awareness self-compassion self-definition self-talk shame transformation validation vulnerability
"Alaskan Tough" Story and Reflection
Memorial Day weekend was the best weather we've had in Anchorage in quite some time. My friend, Kari, a lifelong Alaskan, asked if I wanted to hike Bird Ridge which starts at the Bird Creek parking lot, a popular moderate to difficult 5-mile 3400 ft elevation hike. I've never done it, although mo...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 adaptability assumptions attentiveness automaticity awareness clarity confirmation bias correction curiosity expectation humor identity insight interpretation language listening mindset miscommunication mistake narrative observation overconfidence perception preparation presence readiness realization reflection reframing storytelling
Running Up Mountains Story and Reflection
Have you ever been isolated during a race? Me neither, until I was. I participated in a small fundraiser weeknight race after work in late May several years back. It was my first (and last) mountain race. It was a race up "Peak 3" in the Alaska Chugach Range, with the finish line at the top, smal...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 accomplishment comparison compassion disappointment disorientation empathy exhaustion expectations experience fear fear response frustration growth humility identity isolation journey mentorship metaphor mindset normalization overwhelm parallel perseverance reflection resilience self-compassion transition uncertainty vulnerability
Envy or Esteem Reflection
They're everywhere. Physicians who own their own thriving practices. Physicians who lead departments and hospital systems. Physicians who lead well-being initiatives in effective, meaningful ways within their systems. Physician coaches who work clinically full-time. Physicians who have retired a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 acceptance admiration agency appreciation aspiration authenticity celebration choices comparison confidence discontent envy esteem fulfillment highlight reel identity inspiration journey joy mindset priorities purpose reflection self-doubt self-worth shift strenghts uniqueness values
Laughs and Confidence, Story and Reflection
I was recently discussing confidence in the lecture setting with a few faculty physicians, and it brought up some memories. One of the first didactics I taught as a new faculty member was 9 years out of residency. (Actual photo around that time of me as new faculty, 2007-2008 above.) I was presen...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 adaptability authenticity confidence connection courage credibility didactic education expertise growth mindset humility humor identity imperfection imposter-phenomenon insecurity learning mentorship partnership presence presentation reflection relatability resilience self-acceptance support teaching teamwork transparency vulnerability
Spring Outside Story and Reflection
On March 6, my husband said - let's run tomorrow night. Our local running store offers unofficial community runs each week. Normally, I'm the least spontaneous person I know - maybe it was his enthusiasm or the sun shining through my Alaskan window. I was like, "Let's do it!" It was a fabulous ru...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 adaptation appreciation awareness change community gratitude growth hope humor identity joy light optimism perspective privilege reflection reframing resilience seasons spontaneity
Edit Reflection
When we lived in Florida, we had a lab mix named Snickers. True to his breed, he loved to be right next to his people. While we were temporarily in a rental house, he had to stay outside, and he became an escape artist. One day driving home from work, I saw him happily trotting on the side of the...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 acceptance adaptability bias compassion connection forgiveness grace growth humor identity interpretation learning lightness mistakes ownership perspective redemption reframing rescue storytelling

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
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