Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: identity

Showing 12 results:

One of the most powerful things we can learn is that the way we think about a situation shapes how we experience it. The facts of a situation may be outside our control. (Other people certainly are.) But between what happens and how we respond, our brains are busy making meaning – it automaticall...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 23, 2026 acceptance accountability adaptability agency authenticity behavior beliefs change coaching communication confidence courage curiosity emotional intelligence emotions empathy empowerments graciousness growth identity influence intention judgment leadership mindfulness mindset personal growth perspective processing professionalism purpose reflection relationships resilience response self-awareness self-development self-judgment thoughts transformation values

Called Up

Not too long ago, I was coaching a resident who had been struggling. Over the course of our work together, we unpacked a lot. On the last session, she said something that I will carry forward from here on out. When I asked what she was taking away from our coaching, she told me she had remembered...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 16, 2026 accountability advocacy behavior belief change coaching compassion confidence development emotional intelligence empathy empowerment encouragement expectations faculty development feedback growith mindset growth human potential identity kindness leadership leadership coaching leadership development learning medical education mentoring mentorship mindset opportunity patience personal growth perspective possibiity potential professional growth professionalism psychological safety reflection relationships resident coaching resilience self-awareness self-compassion servant leadership strengths transformation trust understanding

Acting Out of Character

A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee. With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort. Now she is facin...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 04, 2026 adaptability adaptation alignment authentic leadership authenticity awareness behavior boundaries coaching communicaiton communication style confidence congruence connection courage development emotional awareness emotional intelligence expression extroversion fulfillment growth identity influence integrity interpersonal introversion leadership motivation performance personal growth personality presence psychology purpose purposefulness reflection relationships renewal resilience restoration self-abandonment self-acceptance self-awareness self-expression teaching temperament values vulnerability wellbeing

The Price of Value

This week's theme comes straight from Facebook Marketplace. My husband (who is not a social media guy) asked me to list his Kubota skid steer for "69-9." So I did. I had just sold his utility trailer for $2,200, so I entered all the details, uploaded the photos, and hit Publish. Within seconds, s...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 17, 2026 abundance advocacy appreciation authenticity awareness belief business compensation confidence contribution courage empowerment encouragement entrepreneurship expertise family medicine financial health generosity gratitude growth identity impact influence leadership medicine mentorship mindset negotiation opportunity perception perspective physicians purpose recognition reflection self-advocacy self-worth service support sustainability undervaluing validation value visibility worth worthiness

John and the Honeymoon Effect

Last week I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician wrestling with a career dilemma I hear very frequently: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave m...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 17, 2026 adaptation awareness balance burnout career career change clarity coaching cognition compassion contentment curiosity decision making development feedback fulfillment growth healthcare identity insight intentionality leadership learning medicine mindset motivation negativity bias patterns perspective physician psychology purpose reflection relationships resilience self-assessment self-awareness systems transitions wellbeing

What the Critic Taught Me

I was talking with a physician recently who started his own practice. Someone had asked about him in a local Facebook group. There were about thirty responses. Not just “he’s good,” but detailed, generous paragraphs about his skill, empathy, time, and care. And then one line: “My mom saw him and ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 adaptability attention awareness beliefs boundaries burnout coaching comparison confidence criticism delegation development emotions empathy feeback focus grace growth identity improvement interpretation leadership learning medicine mentorship mindset narrative perspective physician practice purpose reflection reputation resilience reviews selfworth trigger validation values wellbeing

Beauty and Belonging Discovered After Change (From the Archives)

When we moved from Florida to Alaska in 2007, it wasn't necessarily a big hit with our teenage girls. My oldest moved off to college saying she would visit us but she wasn't "moving out of the country." My youngest, was about to start 8th grade and had strong opinions about leaving her friends an...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 18, 2026 acceptance adaptation adolescence alaska awareness beauty belonging change community discovery family gratitude growth home identity impermanence intentin joy mindfulness nature perspective presence refleciton reflection resilience transformation transition

Self-induced Blindspots

One time during a record snowfall winter, we ended up with a weekend alone. Our teenage daughter had been picked up by friends for the weekend. We decided to head downtown for a nice dinner. We took my car. As I was backing up our steep long drive, looking over my shoulder, the car jolted to a su...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Feb 09, 2026 accountability assumptions attention automation awareness bias choice cognition expectations growth habits humility identity insgiht intention learning medicine metacognition mindfulness mindset neuropathways neuroscience parallels perception presence psychology reflection safety selfworth subconcious

What’s Your Fuel Level?

It’s the start of a new year, and for many of us, change is on the horizon. Sometimes that change is self-initiated. Sometimes it’s suggested by others. Sometimes it’s formally required. In medicine and academic life, change often shows up wrapped in goals, milestones, improvement plans, or feedb...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jan 09, 2026 academia agency alignment autonomy behavior beliefs change coaching compliance confidence defensiveness discipline education emotions feedback fuel goals growth identity importance integrity leadership learning meaning medicine motivation needs ownership process purpose readiness reflection reframing resistance sustainability thinking transformation values

The Emerging Choice: Staying for the Long Game or Moving On Gracefully

And just like that, it’s 2026! The perfect time for the final piece in a five-part series exploring what helps when you care deeply about something, your influence no longer influences, and meaningful change seems unlikely. Over the past several weeks, I’ve shared a few different approaches to ha...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jan 09, 2026 abundance academia agency alignment calling choice clarity coaching commitment completion culture departure discernment equanimity fulfillment hope identity influence integrity leadership legacy maturity meaning medicine ownership patience physicians purpose renewal resilience scarcity stewardship sustainability systems timing transition values wellbeing wisdom

Holding Pattern

This is Week 4 of a 5-part series exploring those moments when you care deeply about an issue, and nothing you do seems to move the needle. So far, we’ve looked at three different approaches to that situation: • Week 1: Redefining success when outcomes aren’t changing • Week 2: Navigating real co...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jan 09, 2026 academia agency alignment ambiguity becoming belonging calling choice clarity coaching dignity discernment endurance engagement equilibrium fulfillment holding identity leadership liminality maturity meaning medicine middle patience physicians presence process purpose resilience restraint steadiness tension threshold timing transition uncertainty urgency values wisdom worth

The Hallway Experience (From the Archives)

I recently heard the phrase “hallway experience.” It resonated with me. The hallway represents the waiting period after the quintessential 'one door closes' and before 'another one opens.' For me, the hallway period began somewhat nebulously between the pandemic start and formal coach certific...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 17, 2025 agency alignment calling co-creation coaching fulfillment growth identity liminality meaning medicine purpose reinvention transition uncertainty

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: identity

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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