Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: identity
Showing 12 results:
The Hallway Experience (From the Archives)
I recently heard the phrase “hallway experience.” It resonated with me.
The hallway represents the waiting period after the quintessential 'one door closes' and before 'another one opens.' For me, the hallway period began somewhat nebulously between the pandemic start and formal coach certific...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 17, 2025
agency
alignment
calling
co-creation
coaching
fulfillment
growth
identity
liminality
meaning
medicine
purpose
reinvention
transition
uncertainty
Story and Reflection: What Story are You Telling?
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk The Danger of a Single Story is one of my all-time favorites. She warns how a narrow narrative can distort the way we see people, cultures, even whole countries.
But the danger of a single story doesn’t stop there. It shows up in how we see ourselves.
The Singl...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 28, 2025
advocacy
belonging
coaching
confidence
doubt
event
evidence
growth
humility
identity
judgment
lens
meaning
medicine
narrative
perception
perspective
proof
reassurance
reflection
resident
retelling
story
strengths
stress
supervisor
Structure Creates Culture: Lessons from Launching the Alaska GME Council
Culture doesn’t just “happen.” It’s shaped — often by the structures we choose. That was clear to me during the recent launch of the Alaska GME Council, a 3½-hour sprint where structure set the tone for team identity, purpose, and action.
(And yes, it also showed up in my sleep — a classic sign o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 28, 2025
action
adoption
agreements
authenticity
charter
connection
coordination
culture
decision-making
design
energy
engagement
foundation
funding
identity
layout
leadership
meeting
officers
outcomes
ownership
principles
priorities
purpose
reflection
structure
subcommittees
team
vision
voice
The Power of a Pen: Story and Reflection
Sometimes autonomy doesn’t start with a policy change or a big career decision. Sometimes it starts with… a pen.
Last week, I listened to Dr. Jeff Haney, Vice Dean for Clinical Affairs at WSU Elson S. Floyd COM, share a story during a session on emotional intelligence. He described a night on cal...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 22, 2025
agency
autonomy
awareness
burnout
choice
connection
empowerment
engagement
fulfillment
identity
intentionality
mindset
resilience
well-being
Confessions of a Former Night Owl: Story and Reflection on Identity, Change, and Quiet Growth
We often resist change when it feels like it threatens who we are. But not all change is self-abandonment.
Not long ago, someone shared that she felt a surprising amount of grief around changing—even when the change was meant to help a relationship work better. Authenticity was a deeply held valu...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
adaptation
adjustment
alignment
authenticity
change
commitment
curiosity
discovery
evolution
flexibility
grief
growth
habits
identity
intention
mindset
motivation
openness
patterns
resistance
selfhood
surprises
transformation
values
willingness
Filtering Voices: Story and Reflection
Like many medical students, I went back and forth on what specialty I really loved. OB/GYN? Sports Medicine? Internal Medicine? Rheum? Endocrine? Psychiatry? Adolescent Medicine? (Yes, all of them!)
I also had a fantastic role model in my dad, an outpatient family doc beloved by his patients. And...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
affirmation
belonging
choice
clarity
compassion
confidence
courage
decision making
doubt
encouragement
identity
influence
insecurity
integrity
internal guidance
judgment
medical culture
mentorship
perception
power dynamics
purpose
reassurance
reflection
respect
self-trust
soundtracks
validation
values
voice
wisdom
Word of the Year Reflection
Choosing a word of the year provides a simple yet powerful compass that can guide your decisions, actions, and mindset throughout the year. It's like a quick check-in on your purpose statement focused on 2025.
As we step into a new year, take 15 minutes to sit quietly with yourself and reflect. A...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
adaptability
alignment
amalgamation
blending
choice
clarity
coaching
decision making
direction
empowerment
flexibility
focus
guidance
identity
integration
intention
leadership
mentoring
mindfulness
personal growth
purpose
reflection
resilience
roles
self-awareness
strength
transformation
transition
values
word of the year
Performance Reflection
I often talk with residents about what I term "performance mode" and how it negatively impacts us. It's that feeling of playing a persona in order to fit the mold, earn praise, and be accepted.
We are socialized as we progress through premed and medical school to look for the approval of others -...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
alignment
anxiety
authenticity
autonomy
confidence
detachment
empowerment
essence
external approval
feedback
growth
identity
impact
insecurity
integrity
introspection
medical training
mindset
motivation
perception
performance mode
persona
presence
reflection
resilience
self-awareness
self-trust
self-worth
validation
worthiness
The Dilemma: Story and Reflection
Many of you have heard me tell how being a great wife landed me in Alaska from Florida in 2007. It has been a fantastic decision. I don't often talk about the fears I had. I worried about moving an 8th grader away from good friends and the sunny beach to an unknown, cold, dark place (the story of...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
adaptation
adjustment
all-or-nothing
binary thinking
career
catastrophizing
compromise
decision making
emotional growth
expansion
fear
flexibility
gray-area
identity
mindset
narrative
opportunity
options
overthinking
parenting
perspective
problem solving
reframing
resilience
self-awareness
success
support
transition
trust
vulnerability
Ziplining Snafu: Story and Reflection
When we explored Alaska with our 13-year-old before our move from Florida 17 years ago, we made sure to make it adventurous for her.
We signed up for zip-lining in Ketchikan among the tall Western Hemlocks. I've never been a fan of heights (understatement of the year!), but I was determined. We r...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
action
adventure
agency
behavior
choice
courage
detachment
embarassment
emotion
fear
growth
identity
internalization
labeling
mindset
naming
narrative
perception
personal growth
perspective
reframing
resilience
self-awareness
self-compassion
self-definition
self-talk
shame
transformation
validation
vulnerability
"Alaskan Tough" Story and Reflection
Memorial Day weekend was the best weather we've had in Anchorage in quite some time. My friend, Kari, a lifelong Alaskan, asked if I wanted to hike Bird Ridge which starts at the Bird Creek parking lot, a popular moderate to difficult 5-mile 3400 ft elevation hike. I've never done it, although mo...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
adaptability
assumptions
attentiveness
automaticity
awareness
clarity
confirmation bias
correction
curiosity
expectation
humor
identity
insight
interpretation
language
listening
mindset
miscommunication
mistake
narrative
observation
overconfidence
perception
preparation
presence
readiness
realization
reflection
reframing
storytelling
Running Up Mountains Story and Reflection
Have you ever been isolated during a race? Me neither, until I was. I participated in a small fundraiser weeknight race after work in late May several years back. It was my first (and last) mountain race.
It was a race up "Peak 3" in the Alaska Chugach Range, with the finish line at the top, smal...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
accomplishment
comparison
compassion
disappointment
disorientation
empathy
exhaustion
expectations
experience
fear
fear response
frustration
growth
humility
identity
isolation
journey
mentorship
metaphor
mindset
normalization
overwhelm
parallel
perseverance
reflection
resilience
self-compassion
transition
uncertainty
vulnerability
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
