Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: feedback
Showing 12 results:
Ask Responsibly
I was thinking recently about how agreeable my AI assistant, Scribbs, is with me. He’s great at coming up with answers in the direction I point him - quick to confirm, validate, or spot what might be off.
It’s a lot like those friends we turn to when we just want someone to agree with us.
But I’v...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 24, 2025
ai
alignment
assumption
awareness
bias
clarity
confirmation
connection
course-correction
criticism
curiosity
detective
dialogue
direction
excitement
exploration
feedback
growth
guidance
humility
impulsivity
inquiry
insight
intention
judgment
learning
listening
meaning-making
mindset
mirror
oversight
perspective
purpose
questions
reflection
reframing
relevance
self-talk
A Ditch on Each Side of the Road (and How to Avoid Them)
Leadership often feels like driving a narrow road. You’re trying to keep the vehicle moving forward, but there’s a ditch on each side that can take you out if you drift too far.
Recently I had the chance to moderate an STFM GME Leadership Panel with three seasoned leaders in academic medicine — D...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
accountability
balance
boundaries
burnout
collaboration
communication
creativity
delegation
development
discipline
efficiency
empowerment
engagement
feedback
focus
growth
leadership
longevity
mentoship
mindset
organization
oversight
perspective
prioritization
reflection
resilience
skillset
strategy
structure
support
sustainability
time
transparency
vision
Not Everyone Gets a Seat at Your Table
In clinical & academic medicine, and in leadership, “they” shows up a lot.
They’ll think I’m a joke.
They can tell I don’t belong.
They are totally judging me.
But here’s the problem: “they” rarely has a face. A faceless crowd gets invited to our mental table of influence, and suddenly we’re serv...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 29, 2025
academia
boundaries
clarity
colleagues
comparison
critics
crowd
decisions
discernment
doubt
energy
fear
feedback
growth
influence
judgment
leaders
leadership
medicine
overgeneralization
perspective
power
reflection
resilience
source
table
voices
worth
Beyond Labels: Story and Reflection
It’s not infrequent that I’m in conversation with a faculty member who’s frustrated with one or two residents they see as lazy or disengaged. Those moments take me right back to how I sometimes felt a decade ago, when I was burned out in my core faculty role. I remember the intensity of that frus...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 22, 2025
barriers
burnout
connection
conversations
criticism
curiosity
data
defesiveness
drive
efficiency
energy
engagement
exhuastion
experience
feedback
frustration
gaps
growth
immersion
interviewing
labels
language
learning
minset
motivation
nuance
patience
perspective
procrastination
quality
rapport
reflection
remediation
repitition
resources
responsibility
safety
strengths
support
trust
understanding
How We Think Shapes What We See: Story and Reflection
When I mentioned last month that I was heading to Las Vegas to see the Eagles play in the Sphere, more than one person responded with a look of surprise, post-Super Bowl: “You’re going to a football game?”
That moment—a simple case of mistaken reference—got me thinking about how our assumptions a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
alignment
assumptions
awareness
beliefs
clarity
coaching
communication
culture
development
dynamics
evaluations
expectations
feedback
frustration
growth
insight
interpretation
mindsets
modeling
perception
reflection
reframing
support
trust
understanding
All That Jazz Story and Reflection
I'm going to give away one of the truths that throws people off when I play two truths and a lie. I learned to tap dance and even performed on stage after I was a practicing physician. I know, I know - hard to picture. 😉
My daughter was taking violin lessons in a studio that had just started offe...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
all-or-nothing
awkwardness
challenge
control
creativity
discomfort
encouragement
expectations
feedback
fun
growth mindset
inspiration
learning
letting go
mastery
mindset
motivation
patience
perfectionism
performance
perseverance
personal growth
practice
reflection
reframe
resilience
role modeling
self-awareness
self-compassion
vulnerability
Winning Reflections
As we close out 2024, I want to point our minds toward the wins. What you learned, what impact you made, how you grew, etc. You all know it's one area I like to be intentional and savor.
Last week, my own coach just elevated the process for me by 1. recognizing something I was unknowingly doing a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
affirmation
awareness
celebration
coaching
communication
confidence
energy
feedback
growth
insight
intentionality
leadership
learning
mindset
positivity
preparation
process
progress
recognition
reflection
reinforcement
repeatability
rumination
savoring
self-awareness
shift
success
sustainability
team dynamics
widsom
Story and Reflection: Lessons from Strife
During my part of my time as core faculty, I gained many humorous memories and more valuable (even if somewhat unorthodox) lessons. We were a large group (12 in all), and for a short while, the makeup of personalities and dynamics created some unruly situations. Many memorable and laughable lesso...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
adaptability
agreement
collaboration
communication
conflict
consensus
culture
decision making
emotional intelligence
emotional regulation
facilitation
feedback
group dynamics
humanity
humor
leadership
lessons
perspective
process
productivity
psychological safety
reflection
regulation
relationship preservation
repetition
resolution
self-awareness
strategy
strife
systems
teamwork
yes-and
Reflection: Game Tape
One small aspect of the culture I grew up in centered around College Football. (Stick with me, non-sports fans) As we soon head into the College Football Playoffs, watching Sports Center Game Day with retired coach Nick Saban and former players Des Howard and Kirk Herbstreet is entertaining and i...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
adaptation
adult learning
analysis
clinical reasoning
coaching
cognition
decision making
execution
feedback
flexibility
growth
improvement
insight
intentionality
learning
metacognition
minfulness
non-judgment
observation
pattern recognition
performance
practice
productivity
recognition
reflect-in
reflect-on
reflection
rumination
self-awareness
situatinal awareness
Performance Reflection
I often talk with residents about what I term "performance mode" and how it negatively impacts us. It's that feeling of playing a persona in order to fit the mold, earn praise, and be accepted.
We are socialized as we progress through premed and medical school to look for the approval of others -...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
alignment
anxiety
authenticity
autonomy
confidence
detachment
empowerment
essence
external approval
feedback
growth
identity
impact
insecurity
integrity
introspection
medical training
mindset
motivation
perception
performance mode
persona
presence
reflection
resilience
self-awareness
self-trust
self-worth
validation
worthiness
Burger Surprise: Story and Reflection
As many of you know, my husband loves to cook and is quite good at it. I had learned to make only two meals before marriage (I avoided the kitchen despite my mom's pleading). But I was suddenly eager to impress my husband with my expanding culinary feats. In those early days of wedding bliss, the...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
communication
connection
courage
creativity
culinary
diappointment
encouragement
experimentation
feedback
fixed mindset
growth
honesty
humility
humor
improvement
intention
kindness
learning
openness
perseverance
practice
reflection
relationship
resilience
self-awareness
skill building
trust
vulnerability
The Youngest Flower Girl: Story and Reflection
I'm not sure every parent of a flower girl fears how the ceremony will go, but my husband and I sure did years ago. You see, our oldest was invited to be the flower girl for 2 of our med school classmates when she was barely three years old. We had many voices of experience say she's too young. A...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
balance
big picture
celebration
ceremony
detail-orientation
embarrassment
feedback
focus
humanity
humor
hyperfocus
joy
learning
memory
mindfulness
mistake
negativity bias
overfocus
parenting
perfectionism
perspective
presence
reflection
regulation
self-awareness
self-compassion
social cues
storytelling
worry
zooming-out
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
