Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: curiosity

Showing 12 results:

A couple of weeks ago, my friend, colleague, and physician advocate Dr. Sasha Shillcutt wrote something that grabbed my attention: “Can we all stop shaming women who work hard?” It resonated. The pendulum has needed to swing toward rest and boundaries for a long time. We’ve finally begun to norma...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 14, 2025 agency alignment autonomy awareness balance boundaries burnout choice clarity compassion curiosity discipline effort energy expectations flow fulfillment inquiry insight intention judgment mindfulness obligation overload passion people pleasing perfectionism perspective priorities purpose recovery reflection reset rest self-care shame signals support sustainability tells validation wellbeing work

Ask Responsibly

I was thinking recently about how agreeable my AI assistant, Scribbs, is with me. He’s great at coming up with answers in the direction I point him - quick to confirm, validate, or spot what might be off. It’s a lot like those friends we turn to when we just want someone to agree with us. But I’v...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 ai alignment assumption awareness bias clarity confirmation connection course-correction criticism curiosity detective dialogue direction excitement exploration feedback growth guidance humility impulsivity inquiry insight intention judgment learning listening meaning-making mindset mirror oversight perspective purpose questions reflection reframing relevance self-talk

Beyond Labels: Story and Reflection

It’s not infrequent that I’m in conversation with a faculty member who’s frustrated with one or two residents they see as lazy or disengaged. Those moments take me right back to how I sometimes felt a decade ago, when I was burned out in my core faculty role. I remember the intensity of that frus...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 22, 2025 barriers burnout connection conversations criticism curiosity data defesiveness drive efficiency energy engagement exhuastion experience feedback frustration gaps growth immersion interviewing labels language learning minset motivation nuance patience perspective procrastination quality rapport reflection remediation repitition resources responsibility safety strengths support trust understanding

Power of Conversation, Story and Invitation

A thoughtful reader recently wrote in and asked me: “How did you build the strong relationships you have with specialists?” At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My brain went to the tactical: referrals, shared patients, thank-yous. (These are still paramount. Doing your due diligence with worku...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 02, 2025 assumptions collaboration communication community connection consistency conversation curiosity empathy engagement fallibility grace gratitude habit humanity initiative intentionality invitation listening mindset overwhelm participation perfectionism presence professionalism reflection relationships respect support trust vulnerability

Story and Reflection: What Success Really Looks Like

As a new academic year begins—fresh name badges, new roles, different rhythms—I’ve been returning to a question I first heard from Dr. Kerri Palamara, a national leader in coaching in graduate medical education and Director of the Center for Physician Well-Being at Massachusetts General Hospital....

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 11, 2025 agency alignment aspirations authenticity awareness belonging career clarity coaching compassion connection curiosity fulfillment growth intention meaning navigation pause perspective presence purpose redefinition reflection relationships success transformation values well-being wholeness

Lessons in the Messy Middle Reflection

“Celebrate the abundance within troubles.” – Will Miller, MD, Annals of Family Medicine, 2010 📸 Thanks to Jay Fetter for the reminder and this powerful slide in Atlanta last week where the year long STFM CBME pilot project wrapped up. The CBME pilot participants showed us what it looks like to le...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 19, 2025 abundance adaptation breakthrough challenge change clarity complexity courage culture curiosity design discovery experimentation failure growth innovation insight leadership learning meaning momentum optimism persistence progress purpose reflection resilience tension transformation uncertainty

Confessions of a Former Night Owl: Story and Reflection on Identity, Change, and Quiet Growth

We often resist change when it feels like it threatens who we are. But not all change is self-abandonment. Not long ago, someone shared that she felt a surprising amount of grief around changing—even when the change was meant to help a relationship work better. Authenticity was a deeply held valu...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 adaptation adjustment alignment authenticity change commitment curiosity discovery evolution flexibility grief growth habits identity intention mindset motivation openness patterns resistance selfhood surprises transformation values willingness

Story and Reflection: Mining for Value

Recently, I noticed that a member of our team had quietly pulled back. I knew she had experience—she’d been introduced as someone who had worked with universities, served as a legislative liaison, and helped stand up GME programs. She had consistently offered thoughtful perspectives, often seeing...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 awareness confidence confidence without arrogance contribution over ego curiosity deep listening dignity drawing out strengths experience experience matters expertise hidden hidden assets hidden strength honoring the whole person humility inclusive leadership influence beyond title invitational leadership leadership legacy listening mining mining for gold presence quiet contributors reactivation recognition relational leadership respectul curiosity storytelling strength team awareness undervalued undervalued expertise unseen unseen wisdom wisdom

Reflection: The Adventure of Conversation

I had just turned a group of faculty workshop participants loose to help each other work on short term career goals & to do so by practicing their new coaching skills with each other. I encouraged them to keep their advice-monster at bay. (See Michael Bungay Stanier's The Advice Trap). When they ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 advice trap awareness co-creation coaching communication connection curiosity discovery empathy engagement exploration facilitation growth guidance insight interaction learning listening mindset non-judgment openness pattern recognition physician habit practice presence reflection restraint storytelling transformation trust

Blindfolds: Story and Reflection

For better or worse (mostly better), I'm partly the result of having an older sister. When we were kids, she had brilliant ideas for games. One of her favorites? A blindfolded taste test. She claimed it was all in good fun—but let’s be honest, it was her sneaky way of trying to cure my “ridiculou...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 agency autonomy boundaries childhood coaching competence control curiosity empowerment encouragement experimentation growth humor individuality insight learning memory non-judgment persuasion playfulness psychological safety reflection relatedness resilience resistance self-discovery skepticism support trial and error trust

Reflecting on Two Things

In preparing for the AMWA Evolve Leadership Course for trainees session on Difficult Conversations, I've been reflecting on principles from Crucial Conversations, Super Communicators, Non-Violent Communication, and How to Work with Almost Anyone (all highly recommended books). We often fall into ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 awareness balance binary thinking communication compassion complexity conflict resolution contradiction curiosity discernment emotional intelligence empathy fool's choice grace growth honesty kindness labeling mindset nuance overgeneralization paradox perspective polarity thinking reflection relationship self-regulation truth understanding wake

Balancing Reflection

I received two important pieces of advice once while taking an ocean paddle boarding course. I will cover the first of those today and the other in a future reflection. The advice: As soon as you stand upright on the board, put your paddle in the water and start moving. It's like a bike - You wou...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 action adaptability balance burnout commitment courage curiosity decision making experimentation flexbility forward motion growth imperfection learning metaphor momentum movement navigation progress purpose readiness reassessment recovery reflection rejuvenation resilience risk self-leadership timing uncertainty

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: curiosity

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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