Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: connection
Showing 12 results:
Team Culture: Boundaries, Generosity, and Trust
For me, Fall is closely associated with sports. College football, one of the primary ones, but also volleyball after years of being a volleyball mom.
I have a few friends who find sports a bit pedestrian, too focused on competition, and something they’ve never really understood the appeal of. I...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 18, 2026
accountability
adaptability
belonging
boundaries
burnout
career
coaching
collaboration
communication
community
competition
confidence
connection
cooperation
culture
development
empathy
flexibility
generosity
growth
growth mindset
healthcare
leadership
learning
medicine
mentorship
partnership
physicians
positive intent
reciprocity
recovery
reliability
residency
resilience
self-preservation
sports
sportsmanship
support
sustainability
team culture
teaming
teammates
teamwork
trust
volleyball
vulnerability
workload
workplace
Acting Out of Character
A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee.
With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort.
Now she is facin...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 04, 2026
adaptability
adaptation
alignment
authentic leadership
authenticity
awareness
behavior
boundaries
coaching
communicaiton
communication style
confidence
congruence
connection
courage
development
emotional awareness
emotional intelligence
expression
extroversion
fulfillment
growth
identity
influence
integrity
interpersonal
introversion
leadership
motivation
performance
personal growth
personality
presence
psychology
purpose
purposefulness
reflection
relationships
renewal
resilience
restoration
self-abandonment
self-acceptance
self-awareness
self-expression
teaching
temperament
values
vulnerability
wellbeing
Friendships on Purpose
I’m writing from my kitchen counter, sitting on one of the few things not making the journey to Washington: our kitchen stools.
Behind me, three people are wrapping and taping up nearly everything we own. They start loading the truck tomorrow. We are down to one drawer, one cabinet, one coffee ma...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 14, 2026
#bemyfriend
alaska
anchorage
authenticity
ballard
belonging
community
companionship
conference
connection
courage
encouragement
friendship
friendship building
girdwood
gratitude
intentionality
invitation
kindness
medicine
memories
mentorship
moving
networking
physicians
presence
purpose
reflection
relationships
relocation
resilience
retirement
reunion
storyslam
storytelling
support
transition
vulnerability
washington
wellbeing
women
Pick Up the Phone
A couple of weeks ago, I was juggling multiple time-sensitive projects when someone began doing work which I felt was mine to do, that I wanted to do, and in an order that made no sense to me.
I initially reacted from momentary frustration.
Becoming a coach does not uninstall the old neural pathw...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 31, 2026
acceptance
activation
adaptability
awareness
breathing
burnout
centering
compassion
connection
creativity
curiosity
emotional intelligence
emotions
empathy
grounding
growth
learning
mindfulness
mindset
nervous system
neuroscience
pathways
patience
perspective
reactions
reflection
regulation
relationships
residency
resilience
responding
self-awareness
self-regulation
stress
transformation
trust
wellness
The Penstock Paradox
I've been catching up on Lisa Rosenbaum's Not Otherwise Specified podcast series on primary care. https://not-otherwise-specified-podcast.nejm.org/e/when-no-ones-watching/
The final episode is titled When No One's Watching.
Near the end, Jonathan Han, a family physician and residency director, ta...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 23, 2026
alignment
artistry
authenticity
balance
burnout
caring
community
compassion
connection
contribution
creativity
encouragement
energy
engagement
excellence
flourishing
fulfillment
generosity
gratidtude
humanity
impact
influence
inspiration
intentionality
joy
kindness
leadership
legacy
meaning
mentorship
motivation
presence
purpose
purpose driven
regognition
rejuvenation
relationships
relection
renewal
resilience
restoration
service
significance
stewardship
sustainability
values
wellbeing
John Changes the Question
A few weeks ago, I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician facing a career dilemma I hear often:
“I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave my current o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 29, 2026
adaptation
agency
alignment
authenticity
awareness
burnout
career
change
clarity
coaching
compassion
connection
continuity
decision making
direction
discovery
engagement
fulfillment
growth
inquiry
insight
intention
leadership
listening
meaning
medicine
mindset
perspective
physicians
purpose
reflection
renewal
resilience
self-awareness
sustainability
teaching
transformation
transition
trust
values
The Impact We Don't Always See
I came across a piece from Sahil Bloom not too long ago about the “Stonecutter Principle,” which is so relatable to the work I do.
In case you’re not familiar with the story - a quick recap: three stonecutters doing the same work but describing it very differently: cutting stone, building a wall,...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 14, 2026
administration
awareness
burnout
caregiving
cathedral
compassion
connection
documentation
empathy
forms
fulfillment
gratitude
growth
healing
healthcare
humanity
impact
leadership
legacy
meaning
medicine
mindset
motivation
patient care
perspective
physician
purpose
purposeful work
quality of life
reflection
reframing
relationships
resilience
service
stonecutter
storytelling
support
values
A Christmas Epiphany (From the Archives)
Early in our marriage, we lived in an ongoing renovation of a historic home. It had an entryway with stairs wrapping up to the second floor, creating the ideal spot for our Christmas tree. We would take the girls to the tree farm and pick out the largest one with near-perfect branches and set it ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 23, 2026
adaptation
awareness
balance
behavior
calm
change
clarity
cognition
communication
conflict
connection
control
emotion
environment
family
growth
habits
holidays
influence
innner dialogue
joy
marriage
mindset
narrative
perfectionism
perspective
psychology
reflection
regulation
relationships
resilience
self awareness
soundtracks
stress
thinking
traditions
trigger
wellbeing
Two Kinds of Motivation
I had the chance to host Dr Tyra Fainstad (University of Colorado, Better Together Coaching Founder) for a group coaching session on mindset, and she opened with Self-Determination Theory (SDT).
I've loved the topic of SDT since hearing Dr Richard Ryan speak at the IOC Coaching in Leadership and ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 23, 2026
autonomy
awareness
behavior
burnout
capability
choice
clarity
coaching
cognition
competence
connection
development
educaiton
emotions
engagement
extrinsic
focus
growth
habits
innercritic
intrinsic
introjects
leadership
learning
medicine
mindset
motivation
performance
physician
psychology
purpose
reflection
relatedness
resilience
self-determination
thinking
values
wellbeing
Don't Game Tape Alone
Last week, I was sitting in a hotel conference room in Chicago at the AMA Precision Medicine Conference listening to Dr. Lara Varpio from the Perelman School of Medicine talk about agency. Not the vague "you have more power than you think" kind, but the research kind.
She offered four of the six ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 04, 2026
advising
agency
awareness
coaching
collaboration
communication
connection
constraints
conversation
culture
data
development
discursive
education
empowerment
faculty
feedback
growth
guidance
improvement
insight
leadership
learning
meaning
medicine
mentorship
mindset
partnership
performance
practice
reflection
relational
relationships
residency
self-awareness
support
systemic
systems
temporal
transformation
trust
When Influence Stops Influencing
Every physician leader I coach eventually reaches the same moment. They’ve done the work: gathered data, built coalitions, shared meaningful stories, aligned it to the core corporate values, used every bit of their Crucial Conversations skill set, emotionally intelligenced the nuances, and framed...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
acceptance
agency
alignment
boundaries
burnout
change
clarity
coalition
community
connection
discernment
energy
exhaustion
frustration
influence
integrity
leadership
mentorship
metrics
perspective
process
purpose
reality
reflection
regulation
resistance
strategy
systems
values
Learning to Hold the Tension
The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.”
We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched.
We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest.
We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all.
...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
acceptance
adjustment
agency
alignment
awareness
balance
boundaries
boundedness
caring
clarity
compassion
connection
courage
deliberation
disappointment
discernment
equanimity
ethics
harmony
integrity
intentionality
leadership
navigation
polarity
presence
prioritization
reflection
resilience
responsibility
restraint
self-care
tension
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
