Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: connection

Showing 12 results:

Every physician leader I coach eventually reaches the same moment. They’ve done the work: gathered data, built coalitions, shared meaningful stories, aligned it to the core corporate values, used every bit of their Crucial Conversations skill set, emotionally intelligenced the nuances, and framed...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 10, 2025 acceptance agency alignment boundaries burnout change clarity coalition community connection discernment energy exhaustion frustration influence integrity leadership mentorship metrics perspective process purpose reality reflection regulation resistance strategy systems values

Learning to Hold the Tension

The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.” We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched. We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest. We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all. ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 07, 2025 acceptance adjustment agency alignment awareness balance boundaries boundedness caring clarity compassion connection courage deliberation disappointment discernment equanimity ethics harmony integrity intentionality leadership navigation polarity presence prioritization reflection resilience responsibility restraint self-care tension

Ask Responsibly

I was thinking recently about how agreeable my AI assistant, Scribbs, is with me. He’s great at coming up with answers in the direction I point him - quick to confirm, validate, or spot what might be off. It’s a lot like those friends we turn to when we just want someone to agree with us. But I’v...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 ai alignment assumption awareness bias clarity confirmation connection course-correction criticism curiosity detective dialogue direction excitement exploration feedback growth guidance humility impulsivity inquiry insight intention judgment learning listening meaning-making mindset mirror oversight perspective purpose questions reflection reframing relevance self-talk

Reflection: Between the Gates

On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me. For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 10, 2025 adaptation adjustment alignment attention awareness balance boundaries calm centering compassion connection energy equilibrium flow focus grace grounding humanity integration intention leadership mindfulness patience pause perspective preparation presence recovery reflection regulation renewal reset resilience restoration rhythm self-awareness space stillness sustainability transition

Structure Creates Culture: Lessons from Launching the Alaska GME Council

Culture doesn’t just “happen.” It’s shaped — often by the structures we choose. That was clear to me during the recent launch of the Alaska GME Council, a 3½-hour sprint where structure set the tone for team identity, purpose, and action. (And yes, it also showed up in my sleep — a classic sign o...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 28, 2025 action adoption agreements authenticity charter connection coordination culture decision-making design energy engagement foundation funding identity layout leadership meeting officers outcomes ownership principles priorities purpose reflection structure subcommittees team vision voice

The Power of a Pen: Story and Reflection

Sometimes autonomy doesn’t start with a policy change or a big career decision. Sometimes it starts with… a pen. Last week, I listened to Dr. Jeff Haney, Vice Dean for Clinical Affairs at WSU Elson S. Floyd COM, share a story during a session on emotional intelligence. He described a night on cal...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 22, 2025 agency autonomy awareness burnout choice connection empowerment engagement fulfillment identity intentionality mindset resilience well-being

Beyond Labels: Story and Reflection

It’s not infrequent that I’m in conversation with a faculty member who’s frustrated with one or two residents they see as lazy or disengaged. Those moments take me right back to how I sometimes felt a decade ago, when I was burned out in my core faculty role. I remember the intensity of that frus...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 22, 2025 barriers burnout connection conversations criticism curiosity data defesiveness drive efficiency energy engagement exhuastion experience feedback frustration gaps growth immersion interviewing labels language learning minset motivation nuance patience perspective procrastination quality rapport reflection remediation repitition resources responsibility safety strengths support trust understanding

Power of Conversation, Story and Invitation

A thoughtful reader recently wrote in and asked me: “How did you build the strong relationships you have with specialists?” At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My brain went to the tactical: referrals, shared patients, thank-yous. (These are still paramount. Doing your due diligence with worku...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 02, 2025 assumptions collaboration communication community connection consistency conversation curiosity empathy engagement fallibility grace gratitude habit humanity initiative intentionality invitation listening mindset overwhelm participation perfectionism presence professionalism reflection relationships respect support trust vulnerability

Right Pause, Right Time Story and Reflection

Years ago, I was leading a medical team in Southeast Asia after the tsunami. Infrastructure was gone, local health workers were either missing or tending to their own communities, and our team, hosted by a local NGO, was running long, hot, and emotionally heavy days. One morning, something was of...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 31, 2025 awareness breath burnout clarity cohesion compassion connection emotion gratitude healing humanity insight intention leadership listening medicine mindfulness observation pause perspective presence purpose recovery reflection resilience restoration support sustainability teamwork wellbeing

Story and Reflection: What Success Really Looks Like

As a new academic year begins—fresh name badges, new roles, different rhythms—I’ve been returning to a question I first heard from Dr. Kerri Palamara, a national leader in coaching in graduate medical education and Director of the Center for Physician Well-Being at Massachusetts General Hospital....

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 11, 2025 agency alignment aspirations authenticity awareness belonging career clarity coaching compassion connection curiosity fulfillment growth intention meaning navigation pause perspective presence purpose redefinition reflection relationships success transformation values well-being wholeness

Freedom Reflection

As we mark Independence Day, I find myself drawn to a quieter kind of patriotism. Instead of fireworks and fanfare, the steady work of building systems where physicians and learners can thrive. It shows up in faculty who pause long enough to ask better questions. In leaders willing to shift from ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 11, 2025 change coaching compassion connection freedom hope interdependence leadership learning listening patriotism reflection support systemic truth

The Award Not Won: Story and Reflection

It’s that season again. Graduation programs. Thank-you speeches. Awards. A flurry of new titles, public praise, and quiet appreciation. We do this because it matters. Recognition is powerful. Appreciation even more so. But in the messiness of human systems, it doesn’t always land how we intend. I...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 27, 2025 acknowledgment alignment appreciation authenticity belonging care celebration community compassion connection contribution encouragement equity gratitude humanity humility impact inclusion integrity leadership mentorship mindfulness presence process purpose recognition reflection service stewardship support systems values visibility well-being

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: connection

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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