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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: confidence

Showing 12 results:


Team Culture: Boundaries, Generosity, and Trust
For me, Fall is closely associated with sports. College football, one of the primary ones, but also volleyball after years of being a volleyball mom.   I have a few friends who find sports a bit pedestrian, too focused on competition, and something they’ve never really understood the appeal of. I...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 18, 2026 accountability adaptability belonging boundaries burnout career coaching collaboration communication community competition confidence connection cooperation culture development empathy flexibility generosity growth growth mindset healthcare leadership learning medicine mentorship partnership physicians positive intent reciprocity recovery reliability residency resilience self-preservation sports sportsmanship support sustainability team culture teaming teammates teamwork trust volleyball vulnerability workload workplace
Brads Over Lectures
When our youngest daughter was about four, she was watching my husband rescreen a door. She stood there studying what he was doing and asked, “What’s that, Dad? Are you putting in brads, Dad?” I remember thinking, What’s a brad? She knew because she had spent a lot of time following her dad aroun...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 11, 2026 adaptability apprenticeship coaching collaboration confidence creativity curiosity development discovery education engagement experience exploration figureoutable gme growth healthcare independence initiative inquiry leadership learning learning by doing medicine mentorship modeling observation parenting persistence physicians practice problem solving reflection residency resilience resourcefulness teaching training
Acting Out of Character
A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee. With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort. Now she is facin...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 04, 2026 adaptability adaptation alignment authentic leadership authenticity awareness behavior boundaries coaching communicaiton communication style confidence congruence connection courage development emotional awareness emotional intelligence expression extroversion fulfillment growth identity influence integrity interpersonal introversion leadership motivation performance personal growth personality presence psychology purpose purposefulness reflection relationships renewal resilience restoration self-abandonment self-acceptance self-awareness self-expression teaching temperament values vulnerability wellbeing
The River Gets Wider
Just prior to marrying my husband, his dad handed us an article torn from a magazine. It used the imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage. The gist that stuck with my young mind was:1. Don’t be shocked by the rapids. They’re a natural outcome of two forces merging.2. Marriage w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 25, 2026 acceptance adaptability adaptation adjustment balance becoming career change coaching commitment confidence courage endurance expectations flexibility gratitude growth hope imperfection joy leadership life transitions marriage medicine mindset navigation partnership perseverance perspective physicians preparation presence progress purpose rapids recovery reflection relationships renewal resilience self-copmpassion stability strength transformation transition trust uncertainty wellbeing whitewater
The Price of Value
This week's theme comes straight from Facebook Marketplace. My husband (who is not a social media guy) asked me to list his Kubota skid steer for "69-9." So I did. I had just sold his utility trailer for $2,200, so I entered all the details, uploaded the photos, and hit Publish. Within seconds, s...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 17, 2026 abundance advocacy appreciation authenticity awareness belief business compensation confidence contribution courage empowerment encouragement entrepreneurship expertise family medicine financial health generosity gratitude growth identity impact influence leadership medicine mentorship mindset negotiation opportunity perception perspective physicians purpose recognition reflection self-advocacy self-worth service support sustainability undervaluing validation value visibility worth worthiness
The Tyranny of the Unfamiliar
Recently, I brought a situation to my coach because I was concerned I might be facing an ethical dilemma. As we worked through it together, it became clear I was actually on solid ground. What I was experiencing wasn't an ethics issue. It was just discomfort. What's interesting is that I've sat w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 26, 2026 acceptance adaptability adaptation adjustment agility awareness calibration capacity chagne challenge coaching confidence coping courage curiosity development discomfort emotional-intelligence endurance enviornment experience familiarity flexibility growth leadership learning mentorship mindfulness mindset perseverance perspective planning preparation problem solving progress readiness recovery reflection resilience resourcing self-awareness strategy support sustainability transformation uncertainty wellbeing
Retroactive Omniscience and Having Your Own Back
Over the past few weeks, we’ve been following “John,” a fictional physician trying to sort through the emotional aftermath of multiple job changes and the growing belief that maybe he was just bad at choosing jobs. In the first edition, he recognized the story he was telling himself and how it wa...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 23, 2026 adaptability adaptation awareness career career change change clarity coaching cognition compassion confidence curiosity decision making development discernment evolution growth healthcare hindsight insight intentionality judgment leadership learning medicine mindset perspective physician psychology purpose refleciton resilience self-awareness self-doubt selftrust shame stress transitions trust wellbeing
John's Decision
A common theme I hear from physicians is this: “I’ve lost confidence in my ability to pick a good job because I’m looking to leave…again.” And honestly, healthcare is different than it was decades ago when physicians often stayed in one practice for 30–40 years. Expectations, systems, autonomy, c...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 14, 2026 adaptation autonomy balance burnout career career change change clarity coaching cognition comparison confidence contentment decision making despair fulfillment growth healthcare insight intention job search leadership medicine mindset motivation negativity bias perspective physician psychology purpose reflection resilience self-awareness shame stress systems thought work transition values wellbeing
What the Critic Taught Me
I was talking with a physician recently who started his own practice. Someone had asked about him in a local Facebook group. There were about thirty responses. Not just “he’s good,” but detailed, generous paragraphs about his skill, empathy, time, and care. And then one line: “My mom saw him and ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 adaptability attention awareness beliefs boundaries burnout coaching comparison confidence criticism delegation development emotions empathy feeback focus grace growth identity improvement interpretation leadership learning medicine mentorship mindset narrative perspective physician practice purpose reflection reputation resilience reviews selfworth trigger validation values wellbeing
Childhood Courage
In our early days as a family with one car, my husband's boss would pick him up for work up on a motorcycle. He kept the spare helmet at our house. Our oldest, a toddler at the time, had an instinctual and intense fear of the helmet -- even when Mark was wearing it (wise beyond her years?). This ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Mar 18, 2026 action behavior bravery breakthrough challenge change childhood coaching comfort-zone confidence courage determination development empowerment family fear fearlessness future goal-setting growth habits inspiration learning life-lessons mindfulness mindset motivation overcoming parenting personal-growth progress psychology reflection resilience reward risk self-growth storytelling success transformation vision
What’s Your Fuel Level?
It’s the start of a new year, and for many of us, change is on the horizon. Sometimes that change is self-initiated. Sometimes it’s suggested by others. Sometimes it’s formally required. In medicine and academic life, change often shows up wrapped in goals, milestones, improvement plans, or feedb...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jan 09, 2026 academia agency alignment autonomy behavior beliefs change coaching compliance confidence defensiveness discipline education emotions feedback fuel goals growth identity importance integrity leadership learning meaning medicine motivation needs ownership process purpose readiness reflection reframing resistance sustainability thinking transformation values
Providing Entertainment in Lane 1
Last week a few things converged and culminated in me taking something head on that I’d been avoiding. First, spectating an Ironman a couple weeks ago. There’s something about being around real athletes who train hard and perform at that level. Inspiring for sure. That swim tho’… Second, planning...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 10, 2025 awareness beginner commitment confidence courage discipline discomfort embarassment fear growth humility improvement inspiration integrity learning mindset motivation persistence practice progress reflection resilience self-talk swimming technique vulnerability

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
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