Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: compassion
Showing 12 results:
Filtering Voices: Story and Reflection
Like many medical students, I went back and forth on what specialty I really loved. OB/GYN? Sports Medicine? Internal Medicine? Rheum? Endocrine? Psychiatry? Adolescent Medicine? (Yes, all of them!)
I also had a fantastic role model in my dad, an outpatient family doc beloved by his patients. And...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
affirmation
belonging
choice
clarity
compassion
confidence
courage
decision making
doubt
encouragement
identity
influence
insecurity
integrity
internal guidance
judgment
medical culture
mentorship
perception
power dynamics
purpose
reassurance
reflection
respect
self-trust
soundtracks
validation
values
voice
wisdom
Reflecting on Two Things
In preparing for the AMWA Evolve Leadership Course for trainees session on Difficult Conversations, I've been reflecting on principles from Crucial Conversations, Super Communicators, Non-Violent Communication, and How to Work with Almost Anyone (all highly recommended books).
We often fall into ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
awareness
balance
binary thinking
communication
compassion
complexity
conflict resolution
contradiction
curiosity
discernment
emotional intelligence
empathy
fool's choice
grace
growth
honesty
kindness
labeling
mindset
nuance
overgeneralization
paradox
perspective
polarity thinking
reflection
relationship
self-regulation
truth
understanding
wake
Car Problems: Story and Reflection
Shortly after moving to Alaska and starting my core faculty role, I caused a traffic jam. You see, I had pulled onto the busy road in front of the residency and quickly maneuvered across three lanes of traffic to the two packed turn lanes in 5 o'clock traffic.
And then --- my car died - just as t...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
awareness
boundaries
burnout
capacity
community
compassion
embarassment
energy management
gratitude
habits
humility
learning
life balance
limits
metaphor
mindset
pacing
pattern
priorities
recovery
refueling
regulation
resilience
routine
self-awareness
self-care
support
teamwork
vulnerabiulity
warning signs
Reflection: What's Left?
A couple of years ago, at the BE Conference in Scottsdale, speaker and drama researcher, Cy Wakeman demonstrated a tool she called "Edit Your Story" to a room of hundreds of women physicians. She asked for show of hands of who worked with a difficult person on a regular basis. (I snapped the phot...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
agency
boundaries
choice
clarity
cognitive shift
community
compassion
decision making
detachment
drama
editing
emotional intelligence
empowerment
facts
groundedness
interpretation
mindset
narrative
next step
ownership
perception
perspective
reaction
reality
reframing
resilience
self-awareness
self-regulation
story editing
workplace
Near Miss Story and Reflection
Many years ago, as a second-year medical student, I stopped by the post office on my way to pathology to mail a certified letter. I had to take a different route than usual - one I knew well because it was my evening route for my study group. It was already 90 degrees with max humidity upon my ar...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
adaptation
automation
awareness
behavior change
change
cognitive load
compassion
course correction
grace
growth
habit
humanity
humility
intentionality
judgment
learning
memory
mindfulness
mistake
neuropathways
neuroplasticity
patterning
progress
reflection
resilience
rewiring
routine
self-forgiveness
self-regulation
Running Up Mountains Story and Reflection
Have you ever been isolated during a race? Me neither, until I was. I participated in a small fundraiser weeknight race after work in late May several years back. It was my first (and last) mountain race.
It was a race up "Peak 3" in the Alaska Chugach Range, with the finish line at the top, smal...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
accomplishment
comparison
compassion
disappointment
disorientation
empathy
exhaustion
expectations
experience
fear
fear response
frustration
growth
humility
identity
isolation
journey
mentorship
metaphor
mindset
normalization
overwhelm
parallel
perseverance
reflection
resilience
self-compassion
transition
uncertainty
vulnerability
Costly Lunch Laughs, Story and Reflection
Back in 2003, I was with four friends in Germany. We ducked into a diner for lunch. The two guys were just hilarious. Their dry sense of humor and perfect timing had us laughing so hard we could barely catch our breaths - literally for my friend Cheryl. 😳
She inhaled food upon laughing, and then ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
action
adrenaline
amygdala
bravery
compassion
courage
decision making
discomfort
doubt
fear
freeze response
growth
hesitation
humor
inner conflict
instinct
intuition
knowing
leadership
ownership
paradox
presene
pressure
reaction
reflection
rescue
responsibility
self-trust
urgency
vulnerability
Forced Pause Story and Reflection
My leisurely start to morning clinic with a no-show was short-lived. The kind, new MA took longer than experienced MAs to room patients, which began stacking up. I had almost caught up when I walked in to see another patient. Based on the CC, I was fairly sure this would be my opportunity to "get...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 09, 2025
acceptance
burnout prevention
cocreation
compassion
connection
control
disruption
empathy
frustration
grace
listening
mindfulness
pause
perspective
presence
reflection
reframe
repair
resilience
systems
Suffering Story and Reflection
We were only a little over 2 hours into our hike, and my feet were killing me. It was my first backpacking trip through Crow Pass. We had knocked out 3 of the 23 miles and 2000 ft elevation gain after work Friday afternoon. We set up camp by Crystal Lake. I was so uncomfortable that I wondered if...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 09, 2025
aging
assumptions
awareness
compassion
confidence
endurance
fitness
growth
humor
innercritic
insight
mindset
misattribution
narrative
perspective
reflection
reframing
resilience
self-doubt
self-talk
suffering
Story Reflection
This past week, I listened to a webinar featuring Dr. Paul Chelminski from UNC - Chapel Hill (and my former faculty advisor in the CHARM GME Wellbeing Course). He stated that much of our discontent in medicine comes from taking too much refuge in the idealized version of medicine. (My interpretat...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 08, 2025
acceptance
advocacy
agency
aspiration
boundaries
compassion
connection
discontent
gratitude
grounding
idealism
inspiration
mindset
perspective
presence
purpose
realignment
reality
reflefction
satisfaction
Edit Reflection
When we lived in Florida, we had a lab mix named Snickers. True to his breed, he loved to be right next to his people. While we were temporarily in a rental house, he had to stay outside, and he became an escape artist. One day driving home from work, I saw him happily trotting on the side of the...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 08, 2025
acceptance
adaptability
bias
compassion
connection
forgiveness
grace
growth
humor
identity
interpretation
learning
lightness
mistakes
ownership
perspective
redemption
reframing
rescue
storytelling
Giving Reflection
This week, in the spirit of giving - I invite you to consider who you might gift a unique gift to.
The gift of extending positive intent is powerful.
I once coached a resident who felt a particular attending "had it out for him." He reviewed the evidence. I asked if there was any other way to see...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 08, 2025
awareness
burnout
coaching
cognitive reframing
compassion
emotional intelligence
empathy
gratitude
growth
insight
intent
leadership
medicine
mindset
perspective
perspective shift
positive intent
reflection
reframing
relationships
resilience
suffering
teaching
wellness
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
