Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: compassion

Showing 12 results:

A couple of weeks ago, my friend, colleague, and physician advocate Dr. Sasha Shillcutt wrote something that grabbed my attention: “Can we all stop shaming women who work hard?” It resonated. The pendulum has needed to swing toward rest and boundaries for a long time. We’ve finally begun to norma...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 14, 2025 agency alignment autonomy awareness balance boundaries burnout choice clarity compassion curiosity discipline effort energy expectations flow fulfillment inquiry insight intention judgment mindfulness obligation overload passion people pleasing perfectionism perspective priorities purpose recovery reflection reset rest self-care shame signals support sustainability tells validation wellbeing work

Learning to Hold the Tension

The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.” We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched. We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest. We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all. ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 07, 2025 acceptance adjustment agency alignment awareness balance boundaries boundedness caring clarity compassion connection courage deliberation disappointment discernment equanimity ethics harmony integrity intentionality leadership navigation polarity presence prioritization reflection resilience responsibility restraint self-care tension

When Justice Meets the Judge

The shadow side of good values in medicine... I’ve learned that even good values have edges. Justice, for me, especially. We talk a lot about values in medicine: integrity, compassion, excellence, justice. But I’ve learned that even our best values have a "shadow side". Sometimes, even justice ne...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 alignment awareness balance boundaries burnout clarity compassion control criticism discernment distortion ego evolution excellence faith grace humanity humility imbalance integrity judge judgment justice learning martyrdom outrage perfectionism perspective proportion reflection responsibility rigidity self-justification

Reflection: Between the Gates

On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me. For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 10, 2025 adaptation adjustment alignment attention awareness balance boundaries calm centering compassion connection energy equilibrium flow focus grace grounding humanity integration intention leadership mindfulness patience pause perspective preparation presence recovery reflection regulation renewal reset resilience restoration rhythm self-awareness space stillness sustainability transition

Right Pause, Right Time Story and Reflection

Years ago, I was leading a medical team in Southeast Asia after the tsunami. Infrastructure was gone, local health workers were either missing or tending to their own communities, and our team, hosted by a local NGO, was running long, hot, and emotionally heavy days. One morning, something was of...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 31, 2025 awareness breath burnout clarity cohesion compassion connection emotion gratitude healing humanity insight intention leadership listening medicine mindfulness observation pause perspective presence purpose recovery reflection resilience restoration support sustainability teamwork wellbeing

Story and Reflection: What Success Really Looks Like

As a new academic year begins—fresh name badges, new roles, different rhythms—I’ve been returning to a question I first heard from Dr. Kerri Palamara, a national leader in coaching in graduate medical education and Director of the Center for Physician Well-Being at Massachusetts General Hospital....

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 11, 2025 agency alignment aspirations authenticity awareness belonging career clarity coaching compassion connection curiosity fulfillment growth intention meaning navigation pause perspective presence purpose redefinition reflection relationships success transformation values well-being wholeness

Freedom Reflection

As we mark Independence Day, I find myself drawn to a quieter kind of patriotism. Instead of fireworks and fanfare, the steady work of building systems where physicians and learners can thrive. It shows up in faculty who pause long enough to ask better questions. In leaders willing to shift from ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 11, 2025 change coaching compassion connection freedom hope interdependence leadership learning listening patriotism reflection support systemic truth

The Award Not Won: Story and Reflection

It’s that season again. Graduation programs. Thank-you speeches. Awards. A flurry of new titles, public praise, and quiet appreciation. We do this because it matters. Recognition is powerful. Appreciation even more so. But in the messiness of human systems, it doesn’t always land how we intend. I...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 27, 2025 acknowledgment alignment appreciation authenticity belonging care celebration community compassion connection contribution encouragement equity gratitude humanity humility impact inclusion integrity leadership mentorship mindfulness presence process purpose recognition reflection service stewardship support systems values visibility well-being

Filtering Voices: Story and Reflection

Like many medical students, I went back and forth on what specialty I really loved. OB/GYN? Sports Medicine? Internal Medicine? Rheum? Endocrine? Psychiatry? Adolescent Medicine? (Yes, all of them!) I also had a fantastic role model in my dad, an outpatient family doc beloved by his patients. And...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 affirmation belonging choice clarity compassion confidence courage decision making doubt encouragement identity influence insecurity integrity internal guidance judgment medical culture mentorship perception power dynamics purpose reassurance reflection respect self-trust soundtracks validation values voice wisdom

Reflecting on Two Things

In preparing for the AMWA Evolve Leadership Course for trainees session on Difficult Conversations, I've been reflecting on principles from Crucial Conversations, Super Communicators, Non-Violent Communication, and How to Work with Almost Anyone (all highly recommended books). We often fall into ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 awareness balance binary thinking communication compassion complexity conflict resolution contradiction curiosity discernment emotional intelligence empathy fool's choice grace growth honesty kindness labeling mindset nuance overgeneralization paradox perspective polarity thinking reflection relationship self-regulation truth understanding wake

Car Problems: Story and Reflection

Shortly after moving to Alaska and starting my core faculty role, I caused a traffic jam. You see, I had pulled onto the busy road in front of the residency and quickly maneuvered across three lanes of traffic to the two packed turn lanes in 5 o'clock traffic. And then --- my car died - just as t...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 awareness boundaries burnout capacity community compassion embarassment energy management gratitude habits humility learning life balance limits metaphor mindset pacing pattern priorities recovery refueling regulation resilience routine self-awareness self-care support teamwork vulnerabiulity warning signs

Reflection: What's Left?

A couple of years ago, at the BE Conference in Scottsdale, speaker and drama researcher, Cy Wakeman demonstrated a tool she called "Edit Your Story" to a room of hundreds of women physicians. She asked for show of hands of who worked with a difficult person on a regular basis. (I snapped the phot...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 agency boundaries choice clarity cognitive shift community compassion decision making detachment drama editing emotional intelligence empowerment facts groundedness interpretation mindset narrative next step ownership perception perspective reaction reality reframing resilience self-awareness self-regulation story editing workplace

1 2 3

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: compassion

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Stay Connected