Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: balance
Showing 12 results:
When Effort Feels Right
A couple of weeks ago, my friend, colleague, and physician advocate Dr. Sasha Shillcutt wrote something that grabbed my attention:
“Can we all stop shaming women who work hard?”
It resonated.
The pendulum has needed to swing toward rest and boundaries for a long time. We’ve finally begun to norma...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 14, 2025
agency
alignment
autonomy
awareness
balance
boundaries
burnout
choice
clarity
compassion
curiosity
discipline
effort
energy
expectations
flow
fulfillment
inquiry
insight
intention
judgment
mindfulness
obligation
overload
passion
people pleasing
perfectionism
perspective
priorities
purpose
recovery
reflection
reset
rest
self-care
shame
signals
support
sustainability
tells
validation
wellbeing
work
Learning to Hold the Tension
The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.”
We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched.
We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest.
We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all.
...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
acceptance
adjustment
agency
alignment
awareness
balance
boundaries
boundedness
caring
clarity
compassion
connection
courage
deliberation
disappointment
discernment
equanimity
ethics
harmony
integrity
intentionality
leadership
navigation
polarity
presence
prioritization
reflection
resilience
responsibility
restraint
self-care
tension
Endurance, Recovery, and Trust: What Medicine Can Learn from an Ironman
I logged 24,000 steps a couple of weeks ago, not competing, just spectating. Cheering at an Ironman turned out to be its own endurance event!
Somewhere between the cowbells and the cheers, I found myself thinking about what it really takes to sustain that kind of effort. Not just on race day and ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
adaptability
adaptation
awareness
balance
discipline
effort
endurance
flow
focus
integration
microbreaks
momentum
patience
persistence
preparation
presence
process
recovery
recovery load
reflection
resilience
restraint
savoring
threshold
training
trust
When Justice Meets the Judge
The shadow side of good values in medicine...
I’ve learned that even good values have edges. Justice, for me, especially.
We talk a lot about values in medicine: integrity, compassion, excellence, justice. But I’ve learned that even our best values have a "shadow side". Sometimes, even justice ne...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 24, 2025
alignment
awareness
balance
boundaries
burnout
clarity
compassion
control
criticism
discernment
distortion
ego
evolution
excellence
faith
grace
humanity
humility
imbalance
integrity
judge
judgment
justice
learning
martyrdom
outrage
perfectionism
perspective
proportion
reflection
responsibility
rigidity
self-justification
Reflection: Between the Gates
On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me.
For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
adaptation
adjustment
alignment
attention
awareness
balance
boundaries
calm
centering
compassion
connection
energy
equilibrium
flow
focus
grace
grounding
humanity
integration
intention
leadership
mindfulness
patience
pause
perspective
preparation
presence
recovery
reflection
regulation
renewal
reset
resilience
restoration
rhythm
self-awareness
space
stillness
sustainability
transition
A Ditch on Each Side of the Road (and How to Avoid Them)
Leadership often feels like driving a narrow road. You’re trying to keep the vehicle moving forward, but there’s a ditch on each side that can take you out if you drift too far.
Recently I had the chance to moderate an STFM GME Leadership Panel with three seasoned leaders in academic medicine — D...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
accountability
balance
boundaries
burnout
collaboration
communication
creativity
delegation
development
discipline
efficiency
empowerment
engagement
feedback
focus
growth
leadership
longevity
mentoship
mindset
organization
oversight
perspective
prioritization
reflection
resilience
skillset
strategy
structure
support
sustainability
time
transparency
vision
The Farmer's Table: Rethinking Stewardship in Medicine
When we talk about stewardship in medicine, it usually means handling precious resources wisely:
Blood bank stewardship (don’t squander that O-negative so it’s there in a crisis)
Antibiotic stewardship (use the narrowest spectrum possible, so we don’t fuel resistance)
Resource stewardship (choo...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 12, 2025
balance
boundaries
burnout
care
clinic
costs
efficiency
generosity
inboxes
listening
medicine
notes
patients
reflection
resources
shortages
stewardship
strain
sustainability
time
tradeoffs
well-being
workforce
Leaders and Legacy Reflection
When physicians or faculty leaders are struggling in their roles—or with certain parts of them—I often ask:
"When you think of a leader you admire, what qualities stand out?"
They usually name things such as integrity. Strength. Clinical wisdom. Courage. Kindness. Collaboration.
And almost always...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
admiration
awareness
balance
boundaries
capacity
choice
clarity
courage
decline
dedication
delegation
discomfort
expansion
growth
impact
influence
integrity
kindness
leaders
leadership
legacy
modeling
possibility
presence
purpose
rolemodeling
streamline
strength
sustainability
tension
wisdom
Waves and Wakes: Reflection
Reflections: Paddle-boarding on Waves & Wakes
Last November, I promised part 2 of my paddle-boarding lesson - so here it is. If you’ve ever been paddleboarding in the ocean, you know to expect waves. You bend your knees, stay flexible, and adjust your stance to keep your balance. It’s part of the...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
adaptability
anticipatory grace
balance
clam within chaos
core strength
emotional agility
equanimity
expectation
flexibility
grounding
inner anchor
mindset
non reactivity
perspective shift
postural awareness
preparation
purposeful adjustment
readiness
resilience
self regulation
situational awareness
turbulence
uncertainty navigation
values
values alignment
wake readiness
Time Hack and Emotions: Story and Reflection
Time Hack - I'm modeling scheduled rest and boundaries, so I got creative with scheduling this week's reflection. 😊 Time-hack - make your work count twice. I'm working smarter not harder - linking you to the reflection from my blog rather than writing something new while I'm off.
The story: I'm o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
automation
balance
boundaries
creativity
delegation
efficiency
emotional awareness
flexibility
intentionality
off-grid
pacing
prioritization
reflection
rest
self-care
self-permission
simplicity
smart working
sustainability
time management
The Draft Reflection
At the start of the pandemic, my primary role was in a private practice setting, though I still filled in as faculty at the residency (as I do now).
In our group of six physicians and one PA, we were constantly using every resource available to stay up to date on the ever-evolving science—what it...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
adaptability
advocacy
balance
bandwidth
burnout
collaboration
communication
community
drafting
educaiton
energy management
information fatigue
leadership
misinformation
overload
pacing
perspective
priorities
public health
recovery
reflection
regulation
resilience
resource sharing
solidarity
support
sustainability
teamwork
trust
uncertainty
Reflecting on Two Things
In preparing for the AMWA Evolve Leadership Course for trainees session on Difficult Conversations, I've been reflecting on principles from Crucial Conversations, Super Communicators, Non-Violent Communication, and How to Work with Almost Anyone (all highly recommended books).
We often fall into ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
awareness
balance
binary thinking
communication
compassion
complexity
conflict resolution
contradiction
curiosity
discernment
emotional intelligence
empathy
fool's choice
grace
growth
honesty
kindness
labeling
mindset
nuance
overgeneralization
paradox
perspective
polarity thinking
reflection
relationship
self-regulation
truth
understanding
wake
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
