Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: acceptance
Showing 12 results:
Story and Reflection: By the Book
A lighter note for today. I thought it’d be fun to share a story about what happens when my rule-follower tendencies show up at the exact moment my plan stops matching reality.
Not too long ago, while traveling with multiple stops, airline changes, and short layovers, I was determined to fit ever...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 28, 2026
acceptance
adaptability
control
determination
flexibility
frustration
humility
humor
improvisation
mindfulness
partnership
patience
perseverance
perspective
planning
problem-solving
reflection
resilience
rules
travel
When Influence Stops Working: Acceptance Without Endorsement
This is Part 3 of a 5-part series exploring what helps when influence has stopped working. Nothing moves. No matter how much skill, strategy, data, coalition-building, or heart you bring. And it’s something you care deeply about.
Earlier pieces focused on redefining success and navigating constra...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 09, 2026
academia
acceptance
adaptation
agency
alignment
boundaries
bureaucracy
burnout
clarity
coaching
constraint
control
detachment
discernment
dynamics
dysfunction
emotionality
endorsement
energy
equanimity
expectations
frustration
influence
leadership
letting go
maturity
medicine
ownership
predictability
prioritization
reafctivity
reality
regulation
resilience
sobriety
stewardship
sustainability
systems
tolerance
wisdom
Suitcases, Constraints, and Where Possibility Lives
Last week, I wrote about a familiar moment in medicine: when you’ve used every skillful form of influence you have (data, stories, coalitions, reframing) and nothing moves. When effort stops matching outcome, (high importance, low control, and your influence stalls), there are a few ways forward....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 12, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
agency
burnout
constraint
control
creativity
energy
flexibility
impact
influence
leadership
limits
navigation
possibility
problem-solving
reframing
resilience
strategy
systems
When Influence Stops Influencing
Every physician leader I coach eventually reaches the same moment. They’ve done the work: gathered data, built coalitions, shared meaningful stories, aligned it to the core corporate values, used every bit of their Crucial Conversations skill set, emotionally intelligenced the nuances, and framed...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
acceptance
agency
alignment
boundaries
burnout
change
clarity
coalition
community
connection
discernment
energy
exhaustion
frustration
influence
integrity
leadership
mentorship
metrics
perspective
process
purpose
reality
reflection
regulation
resistance
strategy
systems
values
Grateful for Rejection? A Post-Thanksgiving Reflection
If you’re feeling maxed out on gratitude messages this month, you’re not alone. The day after Thanksgiving tends to expose the gap between the gratitude we’re “supposed” to feel and how our brains actually work. That gap is where the science gets interesting. So instead of another round of holida...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
acceptance
awareness
bias
burnout
clarity
disappointment
ego
gratitude
growth
happiness
insight
mindfulness
mindset
mood
negativity
perspective
positivity
psychology
purpose
reflection
reframing
resilience
sleep
stress
Learning to Hold the Tension
The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.”
We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched.
We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest.
We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all.
...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
acceptance
adjustment
agency
alignment
awareness
balance
boundaries
boundedness
caring
clarity
compassion
connection
courage
deliberation
disappointment
discernment
equanimity
ethics
harmony
integrity
intentionality
leadership
navigation
polarity
presence
prioritization
reflection
resilience
responsibility
restraint
self-care
tension
Behind the Blame: Story and Reflection
In medicine and academic leadership, change is constant. But the kind we choose feels different than the kind we don’t. Lately, I’ve found myself thinking about what lies beneath the surface when frustration rises. Sometimes what looks like resistance or blame turns out to be something else entir...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 24, 2025
acceptance
blame
change
clarity
collaboration
conversation
frustration
grief
honesty
insight
leadership
loss
mission
purpose
reality
recognition
resistance
softening
transition
values
Two Travelers and A Mountain: Tale and Reflection
Two explorers set out on a journey to find a hidden village high in the mountains. Both were experienced travelers, used to well-marked paths, sturdy bridges, and reliable guides.
They started on different sides of the mountain which strattled two countries. The first traveler was started in an...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
agency
awareness
calm in chaos
clarity
comparison
expectation reset
expectations
frustration
internal shift
journey
mindset
orientation
perspective
presence
privilege
purpose
reframing
resilience
resistance
surrender
systems thinking
transformation
trial and error
Wake Up Call in Paradise: Story and Reflection
In 2018, our annual mid-winter break took us to Hawaii with our adult daughters and our one grand-little at the time. We stayed together in an Airbnb, soaking up the warmth and beauty of the islands.
One morning, I took the grand in the stroller while the others split into two groups of runners h...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
acceptance
calm in chaos
clarity
composure
detachment
emergency
faith
false alarm
family
gratitude
grounding
instinct
legacy
meaning
mindfulness
mindset
perspective
presence
priority reset
reflection
resilience
surrealism
surrender
uncertainty
value alignment
Twin Perspectives: Story and Reflection
One day a few of years ago, my husband and I started watching Medici - the historical Netflix series set in medieval Italy. The two main brothers looked so much alike during those first two episodes. I kept getting so confused.
After asking Mark for the 6th time which brother was speaking, he fin...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
acceptance
adjustment
attentiveness
awareness
balance
clarity
confusion
distortion
emotional regulation
focus
humility
insight
judgment
lens
mindfulness
mindset
narrative
overwhelm
patience
perception
perspective
presence
proportion
reframe
self-awareness
self-reflection
storytelling
strengths
values
zooming-out
The Tale of Two Challenges
Challenge #1 The Hike. When my kids were both back in Alaska, they insisted that we climb the frontside of Flattop one rainy day. It's a popular local hike. It's my least favorite because I loathe the "scramble" at the top, where you create your own rock climbing path up. It's not particularly st...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
acceptance
adaptability
agency
automatic thoughts
challenge
control
discomfort
emotions
experience
fear
flexibility
frustration
growth
humor
memory making
mindset
narrative
negativity
ownership
perspective
reactivity
reflection
reframing
resilience
responsibility
self-awareness
self-compasssion
self-talk
storytelling
thoughts
transformation
Envy or Esteem Reflection
They're everywhere.
Physicians who own their own thriving practices.
Physicians who lead departments and hospital systems.
Physicians who lead well-being initiatives in effective, meaningful ways within their systems.
Physician coaches who work clinically full-time.
Physicians who have retired a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
acceptance
admiration
agency
appreciation
aspiration
authenticity
celebration
choices
comparison
confidence
discontent
envy
esteem
fulfillment
highlight reel
identity
inspiration
journey
joy
mindset
priorities
purpose
reflection
self-doubt
self-worth
shift
strenghts
uniqueness
values
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
