Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: learning

Showing 12 results:

Last week a few things converged and culminated in me taking something head on that I’d been avoiding. First, spectating an Ironman a couple weeks ago. There’s something about being around real athletes who train hard and perform at that level. Inspiring for sure. That swim tho’… Second, planning...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 10, 2025 awareness beginner commitment confidence courage discipline discomfort embarassment fear growth humility improvement inspiration integrity learning mindset motivation persistence practice progress reflection resilience self-talk swimming technique vulnerability

Ask Responsibly

I was thinking recently about how agreeable my AI assistant, Scribbs, is with me. He’s great at coming up with answers in the direction I point him - quick to confirm, validate, or spot what might be off. It’s a lot like those friends we turn to when we just want someone to agree with us. But I’v...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 ai alignment assumption awareness bias clarity confirmation connection course-correction criticism curiosity detective dialogue direction excitement exploration feedback growth guidance humility impulsivity inquiry insight intention judgment learning listening meaning-making mindset mirror oversight perspective purpose questions reflection reframing relevance self-talk

When Justice Meets the Judge

The shadow side of good values in medicine... I’ve learned that even good values have edges. Justice, for me, especially. We talk a lot about values in medicine: integrity, compassion, excellence, justice. But I’ve learned that even our best values have a "shadow side". Sometimes, even justice ne...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 alignment awareness balance boundaries burnout clarity compassion control criticism discernment distortion ego evolution excellence faith grace humanity humility imbalance integrity judge judgment justice learning martyrdom outrage perfectionism perspective proportion reflection responsibility rigidity self-justification

Beyond Labels: Story and Reflection

It’s not infrequent that I’m in conversation with a faculty member who’s frustrated with one or two residents they see as lazy or disengaged. Those moments take me right back to how I sometimes felt a decade ago, when I was burned out in my core faculty role. I remember the intensity of that frus...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 22, 2025 barriers burnout connection conversations criticism curiosity data defesiveness drive efficiency energy engagement exhuastion experience feedback frustration gaps growth immersion interviewing labels language learning minset motivation nuance patience perspective procrastination quality rapport reflection remediation repitition resources responsibility safety strengths support trust understanding

Responsibility Revisited: Story and Reflection

We don’t always talk about guilt in medicine unless it’s framed as toxic or as a byproduct of impossible systems. But some guilt is earned. Some of it’s useful. The kind that nudges us when we’ve strayed from our values. And some is not. What follows is a story out of several that came to mine fr...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 08, 2025 adaptation alignment awareness character conscience deicision ethics fatigue growth guilt integrity judgment learning medicine observation reflection residency responsibility self-correction values

Freedom Reflection

As we mark Independence Day, I find myself drawn to a quieter kind of patriotism. Instead of fireworks and fanfare, the steady work of building systems where physicians and learners can thrive. It shows up in faculty who pause long enough to ask better questions. In leaders willing to shift from ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 11, 2025 change coaching compassion connection freedom hope interdependence leadership learning listening patriotism reflection support systemic truth

Lessons in the Messy Middle Reflection

“Celebrate the abundance within troubles.” – Will Miller, MD, Annals of Family Medicine, 2010 📸 Thanks to Jay Fetter for the reminder and this powerful slide in Atlanta last week where the year long STFM CBME pilot project wrapped up. The CBME pilot participants showed us what it looks like to le...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 19, 2025 abundance adaptation breakthrough challenge change clarity complexity courage culture curiosity design discovery experimentation failure growth innovation insight leadership learning meaning momentum optimism persistence progress purpose reflection resilience tension transformation uncertainty

The Helper's Fine Line: Story and Reflection

I usually received good grades and positive comments on my report cards as a kid. However, I received one remark from my first-grade teacher that I wasn't sure how to take. She wrote, "Tonya is sometimes too helpful to her neighbors." Being helpful is good, right? I mean, Dawn was struggling with...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 autonomy boundaries burnout capacity building coaching developmental struggle discomfort enablement expectations growth growth mindset helicoptering independence intention learning mental muscle mentoring modeling overhelping pause rescuing role clarity self-efficacy supportive leadership trust

Reflection: The Adventure of Conversation

I had just turned a group of faculty workshop participants loose to help each other work on short term career goals & to do so by practicing their new coaching skills with each other. I encouraged them to keep their advice-monster at bay. (See Michael Bungay Stanier's The Advice Trap). When they ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 advice trap awareness co-creation coaching communication connection curiosity discovery empathy engagement exploration facilitation growth guidance insight interaction learning listening mindset non-judgment openness pattern recognition physician habit practice presence reflection restraint storytelling transformation trust

Blindfolds: Story and Reflection

For better or worse (mostly better), I'm partly the result of having an older sister. When we were kids, she had brilliant ideas for games. One of her favorites? A blindfolded taste test. She claimed it was all in good fun—but let’s be honest, it was her sneaky way of trying to cure my “ridiculou...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 agency autonomy boundaries childhood coaching competence control curiosity empowerment encouragement experimentation growth humor individuality insight learning memory non-judgment persuasion playfulness psychological safety reflection relatedness resilience resistance self-discovery skepticism support trial and error trust

All That Jazz Story and Reflection

I'm going to give away one of the truths that throws people off when I play two truths and a lie. I learned to tap dance and even performed on stage after I was a practicing physician. I know, I know - hard to picture. 😉 My daughter was taking violin lessons in a studio that had just started offe...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 all-or-nothing awkwardness challenge control creativity discomfort encouragement expectations feedback fun growth mindset inspiration learning letting go mastery mindset motivation patience perfectionism performance perseverance personal growth practice reflection reframe resilience role modeling self-awareness self-compassion vulnerability

Winning Reflections

As we close out 2024, I want to point our minds toward the wins. What you learned, what impact you made, how you grew, etc. You all know it's one area I like to be intentional and savor. Last week, my own coach just elevated the process for me by 1. recognizing something I was unknowingly doing a...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 affirmation awareness celebration coaching communication confidence energy feedback growth insight intentionality leadership learning mindset positivity preparation process progress recognition reflection reinforcement repeatability rumination savoring self-awareness shift success sustainability team dynamics widsom

1 2 3

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: learning

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Stay Connected