Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: development

Showing 12 results:

Team Culture: Boundaries, Generosity, and Trust

For me, Fall is closely associated with sports. College football, one of the primary ones, but also volleyball after years of being a volleyball mom. I have a few friends who find sports a bit pedestrian, too focused on competition, and something they’ve never really understood the appeal of. I...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 18, 2026 accountability adaptability belonging boundaries burnout career coaching collaboration communication community competition confidence connection cooperation culture development empathy flexibility generosity growth growth mindset healthcare leadership learning medicine mentorship partnership physicians positive intent reciprocity recovery reliability residency resilience self-preservation sports sportsmanship support sustainability team culture teaming teammates teamwork trust volleyball vulnerability workload workplace

Brads Over Lectures

When our youngest daughter was about four, she was watching my husband rescreen a door. She stood there studying what he was doing and asked, “What’s that, Dad? Are you putting in brads, Dad?” I remember thinking, What’s a brad? She knew because she had spent a lot of time following her dad aroun...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 11, 2026 adaptability apprenticeship coaching collaboration confidence creativity curiosity development discovery education engagement experience exploration figureoutable gme growth healthcare independence initiative inquiry leadership learning learning by doing medicine mentorship modeling observation parenting persistence physicians practice problem solving reflection residency resilience resourcefulness teaching training

Acting Out of Character

A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee. With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort. Now she is facin...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 04, 2026 adaptability adaptation alignment authentic leadership authenticity awareness behavior boundaries coaching communicaiton communication style confidence congruence connection courage development emotional awareness emotional intelligence expression extroversion fulfillment growth identity influence integrity interpersonal introversion leadership motivation performance personal growth personality presence psychology purpose purposefulness reflection relationships renewal resilience restoration self-abandonment self-acceptance self-awareness self-expression teaching temperament values vulnerability wellbeing

Caring Enough to Tell the Truth

I’ve been reflecting on a situation someone close to me recently faced in her work as a consultant. She was brought into a high-stakes situation by her boss, who had asked her to help a close friend. The friend believed that other people involved in an important transition were the problem. Her a...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 28, 2026 accountability advocacy boundaries candor care clinicians coaching communication compassion conflict courage development dignity education empathy evaluation expectations faculty fairness feedback growth healthcare honesty integrity leadership learning medicine mentorship patient care performance professionalism reflection relationships remediation residency residents responsibility standards supervision support teaching transparency trust truth

When an Unexpected Next Step is the Right One

When I began telling people I was considering becoming the Founding Program Director of a new family medicine residency in rural Eastern Washington, the responses were not exactly subtle. “Are you nuts?” “Do you need me to say WTF, Tonya?!” And, perhaps most thoughtfully: “This doesn’t seem align...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 19, 2026 access accreditation alignment building calling career change coaching collaboration commitment community courage culture curriculum decisions development discernment education faculty family gme growth healthcare impact innovation intention leadership medicine mentorship mission moses lake opportunity physicians primary care purpose reflection residency residents resilience rural samaritan service sustainability systems teaching teams throughline training transformation transition trust washington workforce wsu wwami

The Tyranny of the Unfamiliar

Recently, I brought a situation to my coach because I was concerned I might be facing an ethical dilemma. As we worked through it together, it became clear I was actually on solid ground. What I was experiencing wasn't an ethics issue. It was just discomfort. What's interesting is that I've sat w...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 26, 2026 acceptance adaptability adaptation adjustment agility awareness calibration capacity chagne challenge coaching confidence coping courage curiosity development discomfort emotional-intelligence endurance enviornment experience familiarity flexibility growth leadership learning mentorship mindfulness mindset perseverance perspective planning preparation problem solving progress readiness recovery reflection resilience resourcing self-awareness strategy support sustainability transformation uncertainty wellbeing

The Hidden Curriculum of a Career

Over the past several weeks, I’ve introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician struggling with a career dilemma I hear often: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel like...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 06, 2026 adaptation appreciation becoming career clarity communication community conribution culture development discernment evolution experience expertise fulfillment gratitude growth impact insight intentionality knowledge leadership learning legacy maturity meaning medicine mentorship operations perspective physicians progress purpose recognition reflection relationships renewal resilience self-awareness stewardship sustainability systems teaching teamwork transformation wisdom

Retroactive Omniscience and Having Your Own Back

Over the past few weeks, we’ve been following “John,” a fictional physician trying to sort through the emotional aftermath of multiple job changes and the growing belief that maybe he was just bad at choosing jobs. In the first edition, he recognized the story he was telling himself and how it wa...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 23, 2026 adaptability adaptation awareness career career change change clarity coaching cognition compassion confidence curiosity decision making development discernment evolution growth healthcare hindsight insight intentionality judgment leadership learning medicine mindset perspective physician psychology purpose refleciton resilience self-awareness self-doubt selftrust shame stress transitions trust wellbeing

John and the Honeymoon Effect

Last week I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician wrestling with a career dilemma I hear very frequently: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave m...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — May 17, 2026 adaptation awareness balance burnout career career change clarity coaching cognition compassion contentment curiosity decision making development feedback fulfillment growth healthcare identity insight intentionality leadership learning medicine mindset motivation negativity bias patterns perspective physician psychology purpose reflection relationships resilience self-assessment self-awareness systems transitions wellbeing

Learning As We Go

We’re in the thick of our Washington build, and I’ve lost count of how many times the plan has had to change on a dime. Not many major ones. But what feels like a near-constant set of pivots. Inspection corrections. New ideas. The domino effect of one decision making another no longer feasible. A...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 24, 2026 adaptability adjustment ai awareness balance change coaching cognition consistency decision making development education efficiency flexibility framework future growth improvement innovation insight iteration leadership learning medicine mindset planning problem solving progress reasoning reflection residency resilience skills strategy teaching technology thinking transformation

Two Kinds of Motivation

I had the chance to host Dr Tyra Fainstad (University of Colorado, Better Together Coaching Founder) for a group coaching session on mindset, and she opened with Self-Determination Theory (SDT). I've loved the topic of SDT since hearing Dr Richard Ryan speak at the IOC Coaching in Leadership and ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 autonomy awareness behavior burnout capability choice clarity coaching cognition competence connection development educaiton emotions engagement extrinsic focus growth habits innercritic intrinsic introjects leadership learning medicine mindset motivation performance physician psychology purpose reflection relatedness resilience self-determination thinking values wellbeing

What the Critic Taught Me

I was talking with a physician recently who started his own practice. Someone had asked about him in a local Facebook group. There were about thirty responses. Not just “he’s good,” but detailed, generous paragraphs about his skill, empathy, time, and care. And then one line: “My mom saw him and ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Apr 23, 2026 adaptability attention awareness beliefs boundaries burnout coaching comparison confidence criticism delegation development emotions empathy feeback focus grace growth identity improvement interpretation leadership learning medicine mentorship mindset narrative perspective physician practice purpose reflection reputation resilience reviews selfworth trigger validation values wellbeing

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: development

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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