Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: development
Showing 12 results:
Learning As We Go
We’re in the thick of our Washington build, and I’ve lost count of how many times the plan has had to change on a dime.
Not many major ones. But what feels like a near-constant set of pivots. Inspection corrections. New ideas. The domino effect of one decision making another no longer feasible.
A...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 24, 2026
adaptability
adjustment
ai
awareness
balance
change
coaching
cognition
consistency
decision making
development
education
efficiency
flexibility
framework
future
growth
improvement
innovation
insight
iteration
leadership
learning
medicine
mindset
planning
problem solving
progress
reasoning
reflection
residency
resilience
skills
strategy
teaching
technology
thinking
transformation
Two Kinds of Motivation
I had the chance to host Dr Tyra Fainstad (University of Colorado, Better Together Coaching Founder) for a group coaching session on mindset, and she opened with Self-Determination Theory (SDT).
I've loved the topic of SDT since hearing Dr Richard Ryan speak at the IOC Coaching in Leadership and ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 23, 2026
autonomy
awareness
behavior
burnout
capability
choice
clarity
coaching
cognition
competence
connection
development
educaiton
emotions
engagement
extrinsic
focus
growth
habits
innercritic
intrinsic
introjects
leadership
learning
medicine
mindset
motivation
performance
physician
psychology
purpose
reflection
relatedness
resilience
self-determination
thinking
values
wellbeing
What the Critic Taught Me
I was talking with a physician recently who started his own practice.
Someone had asked about him in a local Facebook group. There were about thirty responses. Not just “he’s good,” but detailed, generous paragraphs about his skill, empathy, time, and care.
And then one line:
“My mom saw him and ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 23, 2026
adaptability
attention
awareness
beliefs
boundaries
burnout
coaching
comparison
confidence
criticism
delegation
development
emotions
empathy
feeback
focus
grace
growth
identity
improvement
interpretation
leadership
learning
medicine
mentorship
mindset
narrative
perspective
physician
practice
purpose
reflection
reputation
resilience
reviews
selfworth
trigger
validation
values
wellbeing
Don't Game Tape Alone
Last week, I was sitting in a hotel conference room in Chicago at the AMA Precision Medicine Conference listening to Dr. Lara Varpio from the Perelman School of Medicine talk about agency. Not the vague "you have more power than you think" kind, but the research kind.
She offered four of the six ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 04, 2026
advising
agency
awareness
coaching
collaboration
communication
connection
constraints
conversation
culture
data
development
discursive
education
empowerment
faculty
feedback
growth
guidance
improvement
insight
leadership
learning
meaning
medicine
mentorship
mindset
partnership
performance
practice
reflection
relational
relationships
residency
self-awareness
support
systemic
systems
temporal
transformation
trust
Childhood Courage
In our early days as a family with one car, my husband's boss would pick him up for work up on a motorcycle. He kept the spare helmet at our house. Our oldest, a toddler at the time, had an instinctual and intense fear of the helmet -- even when Mark was wearing it (wise beyond her years?). This ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Mar 18, 2026
action
behavior
bravery
breakthrough
challenge
change
childhood
coaching
comfort-zone
confidence
courage
determination
development
empowerment
family
fear
fearlessness
future
goal-setting
growth
habits
inspiration
learning
life-lessons
mindfulness
mindset
motivation
overcoming
parenting
personal-growth
progress
psychology
reflection
resilience
reward
risk
self-growth
storytelling
success
transformation
vision
What Renovation Taught Me About Teams
My husband and I are back in the messy middle of building.
We are not a strangers to it. We completely renovated a historic home over seven years and our Alaskan home over ten, with my husband acting as contractor, doing the work he enjoyed and subbing the rest out.
And now, we’re building remote...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Mar 13, 2026
adaptation
alignment
behavior
building
change
clarity
co-creation
collaboration
communication
conflict
construction
creativity
decision making
development
dynamics
expectations
forming
friction
group
growth
homebuilding
innovation
leadership
learning
marriage
mindset
organization
partnership
patience
performing
problem solving
process
progress
reflection
remodel
renovation
resilience
satisfaction
storming
structure
teams
teamwork
transformation
uncertainty
vision
Tools and Strategies
Mindset
I always spend a lot of time on mindset. It is foundational and under-discussed. However, if we only change mindset without also learning strategies and new tools, many things will stay the same.
For instance, you may have a whole new outlook on your inbox. But if you want to improve comm...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Feb 27, 2026
accountability
alignment
assertiveness
awareness
boundaries
burnout
clarity
cognitive load
communication
compassion
conflict
decision making
development
efficiency
emotional intelligence
empowerment
energy management
execution
feedback
focus
growth
intentionality
kindness
leadership
mindset
ownership
perspective
prevention
prioritization
proactivity
processes
productivity
professionalism
psychological safety
reactivity
reflection
relationships
repair
resilience
respect
response
sbar
self-efficacy
self-leadership
self-regulation
strategy
structure
systems
triage
Progress Through Process
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately in complex work with many moving parts: helping design a longitudinal faculty coach training with the STFM CBME Faculty Coach Training initiative, and collaborating with colleagues through an AMA-funded Precision Medicine education grant with GAFP. In both ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 28, 2026
adaptability
attention
chunking
coaching
development
discipline
discomfort
focus
growth
improvement
incremental
integration
learning
mastery
mindfulness
observation
patience
persistence
planning
practice
process
progression
reflection
resilience
skillbuilding
A Ditch on Each Side of the Road (and How to Avoid Them)
Leadership often feels like driving a narrow road. You’re trying to keep the vehicle moving forward, but there’s a ditch on each side that can take you out if you drift too far.
Recently I had the chance to moderate an STFM GME Leadership Panel with three seasoned leaders in academic medicine — D...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 10, 2025
accountability
balance
boundaries
burnout
collaboration
communication
creativity
delegation
development
discipline
efficiency
empowerment
engagement
feedback
focus
growth
leadership
longevity
mentoship
mindset
organization
oversight
perspective
prioritization
reflection
resilience
skillset
strategy
structure
support
sustainability
time
transparency
vision
How We Think Shapes What We See: Story and Reflection
When I mentioned last month that I was heading to Las Vegas to see the Eagles play in the Sphere, more than one person responded with a look of surprise, post-Super Bowl: “You’re going to a football game?”
That moment—a simple case of mistaken reference—got me thinking about how our assumptions a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
alignment
assumptions
awareness
beliefs
clarity
coaching
communication
culture
development
dynamics
evaluations
expectations
feedback
frustration
growth
insight
interpretation
mindsets
modeling
perception
reflection
reframing
support
trust
understanding
Annoyance Reflection
In the past couple of weeks, both in a group coaching session and a couple of individual coaching sessions with residents, the topic of strengths came up.
There was an HBR article a while back that points out that many of us overlook our strengths (which are critical to optimizing our impact). In...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 03, 2025
awareness
blindspots
clarity
coaching
development
empowerment
frustration
gratitude
growth
impact
insight
leadership
mindset
perspective
reflection
reframing
self-awareness
strengths
tolerance
understanding
Growth Reflection
Here's an exercise that I hope you find useful.
Think of either past examples that you would define as your best self. Or think of the self you'd like to aspire to be.
Now, which of your strengths are you exhibiting? What happens internally for you? How does it impact your relationships? What's o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 03, 2025
abundance
alignment
aspiration
authenticity
awareness
development
empowerment
growth
improvement
intention
mindfulness
motivation
positivity
practice
reflection
relationships
self-compassion
self-talk
strengths
wellbeing
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
