Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: courage
Showing 12 results:
Acting Out of Character
A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee.
With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort.
Now she is facin...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 04, 2026
adaptability
adaptation
alignment
authentic leadership
authenticity
awareness
behavior
boundaries
coaching
communicaiton
communication style
confidence
congruence
connection
courage
development
emotional awareness
emotional intelligence
expression
extroversion
fulfillment
growth
identity
influence
integrity
interpersonal
introversion
leadership
motivation
performance
personal growth
personality
presence
psychology
purpose
purposefulness
reflection
relationships
renewal
resilience
restoration
self-abandonment
self-acceptance
self-awareness
self-expression
teaching
temperament
values
vulnerability
wellbeing
Caring Enough to Tell the Truth
I’ve been reflecting on a situation someone close to me recently faced in her work as a consultant.
She was brought into a high-stakes situation by her boss, who had asked her to help a close friend. The friend believed that other people involved in an important transition were the problem. Her a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 28, 2026
accountability
advocacy
boundaries
candor
care
clinicians
coaching
communication
compassion
conflict
courage
development
dignity
education
empathy
evaluation
expectations
faculty
fairness
feedback
growth
healthcare
honesty
integrity
leadership
learning
medicine
mentorship
patient care
performance
professionalism
reflection
relationships
remediation
residency
residents
responsibility
standards
supervision
support
teaching
transparency
trust
truth
When an Unexpected Next Step is the Right One
When I began telling people I was considering becoming the Founding Program Director of a new family medicine residency in rural Eastern Washington, the responses were not exactly subtle.
“Are you nuts?”
“Do you need me to say WTF, Tonya?!”
And, perhaps most thoughtfully:
“This doesn’t seem align...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 19, 2026
access
accreditation
alignment
building
calling
career
change
coaching
collaboration
commitment
community
courage
culture
curriculum
decisions
development
discernment
education
faculty
family
gme
growth
healthcare
impact
innovation
intention
leadership
medicine
mentorship
mission
moses lake
opportunity
physicians
primary care
purpose
reflection
residency
residents
resilience
rural
samaritan
service
sustainability
systems
teaching
teams
throughline
training
transformation
transition
trust
washington
workforce
wsu
wwami
Friendships on Purpose
I’m writing from my kitchen counter, sitting on one of the few things not making the journey to Washington: our kitchen stools.
Behind me, three people are wrapping and taping up nearly everything we own. They start loading the truck tomorrow. We are down to one drawer, one cabinet, one coffee ma...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 14, 2026
#bemyfriend
alaska
anchorage
authenticity
ballard
belonging
community
companionship
conference
connection
courage
encouragement
friendship
friendship building
girdwood
gratitude
intentionality
invitation
kindness
medicine
memories
mentorship
moving
networking
physicians
presence
purpose
reflection
relationships
relocation
resilience
retirement
reunion
storyslam
storytelling
support
transition
vulnerability
washington
wellbeing
women
The River Gets Wider
Just prior to marrying my husband, his dad handed us an article torn from a magazine. It used the imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage.
The gist that stuck with my young mind was:1. Don’t be shocked by the rapids. They’re a natural outcome of two forces merging.2. Marriage w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 25, 2026
acceptance
adaptability
adaptation
adjustment
balance
becoming
career
change
coaching
commitment
confidence
courage
endurance
expectations
flexibility
gratitude
growth
hope
imperfection
joy
leadership
life transitions
marriage
medicine
mindset
navigation
partnership
perseverance
perspective
physicians
preparation
presence
progress
purpose
rapids
recovery
reflection
relationships
renewal
resilience
self-copmpassion
stability
strength
transformation
transition
trust
uncertainty
wellbeing
whitewater
The Price of Value
This week's theme comes straight from Facebook Marketplace.
My husband (who is not a social media guy) asked me to list his Kubota skid steer for "69-9."
So I did.
I had just sold his utility trailer for $2,200, so I entered all the details, uploaded the photos, and hit Publish.
Within seconds, s...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 17, 2026
abundance
advocacy
appreciation
authenticity
awareness
belief
business
compensation
confidence
contribution
courage
empowerment
encouragement
entrepreneurship
expertise
family medicine
financial health
generosity
gratitude
growth
identity
impact
influence
leadership
medicine
mentorship
mindset
negotiation
opportunity
perception
perspective
physicians
purpose
recognition
reflection
self-advocacy
self-worth
service
support
sustainability
undervaluing
validation
value
visibility
worth
worthiness
The Tyranny of the Unfamiliar
Recently, I brought a situation to my coach because I was concerned I might be facing an ethical dilemma.
As we worked through it together, it became clear I was actually on solid ground.
What I was experiencing wasn't an ethics issue. It was just discomfort.
What's interesting is that I've sat w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 26, 2026
acceptance
adaptability
adaptation
adjustment
agility
awareness
calibration
capacity
chagne
challenge
coaching
confidence
coping
courage
curiosity
development
discomfort
emotional-intelligence
endurance
enviornment
experience
familiarity
flexibility
growth
leadership
learning
mentorship
mindfulness
mindset
perseverance
perspective
planning
preparation
problem solving
progress
readiness
recovery
reflection
resilience
resourcing
self-awareness
strategy
support
sustainability
transformation
uncertainty
wellbeing
Cognitive Dissonance (From the Archives)
Growing up, my world consisted of good kids like Spook, Ryan, Barry, Jean, and Christy. Especially Jean, she would draw fun pictures and write nice things in a note folded up for me at school: "To Tonya, my friend. From: Jean, your friend." There were bad kids like Eddie - who would come to our s...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 07, 2026
acceptance
accountability
ambiguity
authenticity
balance
boundaries
change
character
cognitive dissonance
compassion
compelxity
complexity
conflict
conviction
courage
discernment
emotional intelligence
empathy
ethics
forgiveness
grief
growth
humanity
humility
integrity
judgment
leadership
learning
loyalty
maturity
medicine
nuance
perspective
physicians
principles
reconciliation
refleciotn
reflection
relationships
resilience
respect
sadness
self-awareness
trust
understanding
values
wisdom
Childhood Courage
In our early days as a family with one car, my husband's boss would pick him up for work up on a motorcycle. He kept the spare helmet at our house. Our oldest, a toddler at the time, had an instinctual and intense fear of the helmet -- even when Mark was wearing it (wise beyond her years?). This ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Mar 18, 2026
action
behavior
bravery
breakthrough
challenge
change
childhood
coaching
comfort-zone
confidence
courage
determination
development
empowerment
family
fear
fearlessness
future
goal-setting
growth
habits
inspiration
learning
life-lessons
mindfulness
mindset
motivation
overcoming
parenting
personal-growth
progress
psychology
reflection
resilience
reward
risk
self-growth
storytelling
success
transformation
vision
Providing Entertainment in Lane 1
Last week a few things converged and culminated in me taking something head on that I’d been avoiding.
First, spectating an Ironman a couple weeks ago. There’s something about being around real athletes who train hard and perform at that level. Inspiring for sure. That swim tho’…
Second, planning...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
awareness
beginner
commitment
confidence
courage
discipline
discomfort
embarassment
fear
growth
humility
improvement
inspiration
integrity
learning
mindset
motivation
persistence
practice
progress
reflection
resilience
self-talk
swimming
technique
vulnerability
Learning to Hold the Tension
The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.”
We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched.
We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest.
We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all.
...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
acceptance
adjustment
agency
alignment
awareness
balance
boundaries
boundedness
caring
clarity
compassion
connection
courage
deliberation
disappointment
discernment
equanimity
ethics
harmony
integrity
intentionality
leadership
navigation
polarity
presence
prioritization
reflection
resilience
responsibility
restraint
self-care
tension
Lessons in the Messy Middle Reflection
“Celebrate the abundance within troubles.” – Will Miller, MD, Annals of Family Medicine, 2010 📸 Thanks to Jay Fetter for the reminder and this powerful slide in Atlanta last week where the year long STFM CBME pilot project wrapped up.
The CBME pilot participants showed us what it looks like to le...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 19, 2025
abundance
adaptation
breakthrough
challenge
change
clarity
complexity
courage
culture
curiosity
design
discovery
experimentation
failure
growth
innovation
insight
leadership
learning
meaning
momentum
optimism
persistence
progress
purpose
reflection
resilience
tension
transformation
uncertainty
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
