Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: coaching
Showing 12 results:
Asking a Better Question
One of the most powerful things we can learn is that the way we think about a situation shapes how we experience it.
The facts of a situation may be outside our control. (Other people certainly are.) But between what happens and how we respond, our brains are busy making meaning – it automaticall...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 23, 2026
acceptance
accountability
adaptability
agency
authenticity
behavior
beliefs
change
coaching
communication
confidence
courage
curiosity
emotional intelligence
emotions
empathy
empowerments
graciousness
growth
identity
influence
intention
judgment
leadership
mindfulness
mindset
personal growth
perspective
processing
professionalism
purpose
reflection
relationships
resilience
response
self-awareness
self-development
self-judgment
thoughts
transformation
values
Called Up
Not too long ago, I was coaching a resident who had been struggling. Over the course of our work together, we unpacked a lot. On the last session, she said something that I will carry forward from here on out.
When I asked what she was taking away from our coaching, she told me she had remembered...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 16, 2026
accountability
advocacy
behavior
belief
change
coaching
compassion
confidence
development
emotional intelligence
empathy
empowerment
encouragement
expectations
faculty development
feedback
growith mindset
growth
human potential
identity
kindness
leadership
leadership coaching
leadership development
learning
medical education
mentoring
mentorship
mindset
opportunity
patience
personal growth
perspective
possibiity
potential
professional growth
professionalism
psychological safety
reflection
relationships
resident coaching
resilience
self-awareness
self-compassion
servant leadership
strengths
transformation
trust
understanding
Team Culture: Boundaries, Generosity, and Trust
For me, Fall is closely associated with sports. College football, one of the primary ones, but also volleyball after years of being a volleyball mom.
I have a few friends who find sports a bit pedestrian, too focused on competition, and something they’ve never really understood the appeal of. I...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 18, 2026
accountability
adaptability
belonging
boundaries
burnout
career
coaching
collaboration
communication
community
competition
confidence
connection
cooperation
culture
development
empathy
flexibility
generosity
growth
growth mindset
healthcare
leadership
learning
medicine
mentorship
partnership
physicians
positive intent
reciprocity
recovery
reliability
residency
resilience
self-preservation
sports
sportsmanship
support
sustainability
team culture
teaming
teammates
teamwork
trust
volleyball
vulnerability
workload
workplace
Brads Over Lectures
When our youngest daughter was about four, she was watching my husband rescreen a door.
She stood there studying what he was doing and asked, “What’s that, Dad? Are you putting in brads, Dad?”
I remember thinking, What’s a brad?
She knew because she had spent a lot of time following her dad aroun...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 11, 2026
adaptability
apprenticeship
coaching
collaboration
confidence
creativity
curiosity
development
discovery
education
engagement
experience
exploration
figureoutable
gme
growth
healthcare
independence
initiative
inquiry
leadership
learning
learning by doing
medicine
mentorship
modeling
observation
parenting
persistence
physicians
practice
problem solving
reflection
residency
resilience
resourcefulness
teaching
training
Acting Out of Character
A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee.
With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort.
Now she is facin...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 04, 2026
adaptability
adaptation
alignment
authentic leadership
authenticity
awareness
behavior
boundaries
coaching
communicaiton
communication style
confidence
congruence
connection
courage
development
emotional awareness
emotional intelligence
expression
extroversion
fulfillment
growth
identity
influence
integrity
interpersonal
introversion
leadership
motivation
performance
personal growth
personality
presence
psychology
purpose
purposefulness
reflection
relationships
renewal
resilience
restoration
self-abandonment
self-acceptance
self-awareness
self-expression
teaching
temperament
values
vulnerability
wellbeing
Caring Enough to Tell the Truth
I’ve been reflecting on a situation someone close to me recently faced in her work as a consultant.
She was brought into a high-stakes situation by her boss, who had asked her to help a close friend. The friend believed that other people involved in an important transition were the problem. Her a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 28, 2026
accountability
advocacy
boundaries
candor
care
clinicians
coaching
communication
compassion
conflict
courage
development
dignity
education
empathy
evaluation
expectations
faculty
fairness
feedback
growth
healthcare
honesty
integrity
leadership
learning
medicine
mentorship
patient care
performance
professionalism
reflection
relationships
remediation
residency
residents
responsibility
standards
supervision
support
teaching
transparency
trust
truth
When an Unexpected Next Step is the Right One
When I began telling people I was considering becoming the Founding Program Director of a new family medicine residency in rural Eastern Washington, the responses were not exactly subtle.
“Are you nuts?”
“Do you need me to say WTF, Tonya?!”
And, perhaps most thoughtfully:
“This doesn’t seem align...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 19, 2026
access
accreditation
alignment
building
calling
career
change
coaching
collaboration
commitment
community
courage
culture
curriculum
decisions
development
discernment
education
faculty
family
gme
growth
healthcare
impact
innovation
intention
leadership
medicine
mentorship
mission
moses lake
opportunity
physicians
primary care
purpose
reflection
residency
residents
resilience
rural
samaritan
service
sustainability
systems
teaching
teams
throughline
training
transformation
transition
trust
washington
workforce
wsu
wwami
The River Gets Wider
Just prior to marrying my husband, his dad handed us an article torn from a magazine. It used the imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage.
The gist that stuck with my young mind was:1. Don’t be shocked by the rapids. They’re a natural outcome of two forces merging.2. Marriage w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 25, 2026
acceptance
adaptability
adaptation
adjustment
balance
becoming
career
change
coaching
commitment
confidence
courage
endurance
expectations
flexibility
gratitude
growth
hope
imperfection
joy
leadership
life transitions
marriage
medicine
mindset
navigation
partnership
perseverance
perspective
physicians
preparation
presence
progress
purpose
rapids
recovery
reflection
relationships
renewal
resilience
self-copmpassion
stability
strength
transformation
transition
trust
uncertainty
wellbeing
whitewater
The Tyranny of the Unfamiliar
Recently, I brought a situation to my coach because I was concerned I might be facing an ethical dilemma.
As we worked through it together, it became clear I was actually on solid ground.
What I was experiencing wasn't an ethics issue. It was just discomfort.
What's interesting is that I've sat w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 26, 2026
acceptance
adaptability
adaptation
adjustment
agility
awareness
calibration
capacity
chagne
challenge
coaching
confidence
coping
courage
curiosity
development
discomfort
emotional-intelligence
endurance
enviornment
experience
familiarity
flexibility
growth
leadership
learning
mentorship
mindfulness
mindset
perseverance
perspective
planning
preparation
problem solving
progress
readiness
recovery
reflection
resilience
resourcing
self-awareness
strategy
support
sustainability
transformation
uncertainty
wellbeing
John Changes the Question
A few weeks ago, I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician facing a career dilemma I hear often:
“I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave my current o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 29, 2026
adaptation
agency
alignment
authenticity
awareness
burnout
career
change
clarity
coaching
compassion
connection
continuity
decision making
direction
discovery
engagement
fulfillment
growth
inquiry
insight
intention
leadership
listening
meaning
medicine
mindset
perspective
physicians
purpose
reflection
renewal
resilience
self-awareness
sustainability
teaching
transformation
transition
trust
values
Retroactive Omniscience and Having Your Own Back
Over the past few weeks, we’ve been following “John,” a fictional physician trying to sort through the emotional aftermath of multiple job changes and the growing belief that maybe he was just bad at choosing jobs.
In the first edition, he recognized the story he was telling himself and how it wa...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 23, 2026
adaptability
adaptation
awareness
career
career change
change
clarity
coaching
cognition
compassion
confidence
curiosity
decision making
development
discernment
evolution
growth
healthcare
hindsight
insight
intentionality
judgment
leadership
learning
medicine
mindset
perspective
physician
psychology
purpose
refleciton
resilience
self-awareness
self-doubt
selftrust
shame
stress
transitions
trust
wellbeing
John and the Honeymoon Effect
Last week I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician wrestling with a career dilemma I hear very frequently: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave m...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 17, 2026
adaptation
awareness
balance
burnout
career
career change
clarity
coaching
cognition
compassion
contentment
curiosity
decision making
development
feedback
fulfillment
growth
healthcare
identity
insight
intentionality
leadership
learning
medicine
mindset
motivation
negativity bias
patterns
perspective
physician
psychology
purpose
reflection
relationships
resilience
self-assessment
self-awareness
systems
transitions
wellbeing
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections