Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: burnout

Showing 12 results:

Suitcases, Constraints, and Where Possibility Lives

Last week, I wrote about a familiar moment in medicine: when you’ve used every skillful form of influence you have (data, stories, coalitions, reframing) and nothing moves. When effort stops matching outcome, (high importance, low control, and your influence stalls), there are a few ways forward....

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 12, 2025 acceptance adaptation agency burnout constraint control creativity energy flexibility impact influence leadership limits navigation possibility problem-solving reframing resilience strategy systems

When Influence Stops Influencing

Every physician leader I coach eventually reaches the same moment. They’ve done the work: gathered data, built coalitions, shared meaningful stories, aligned it to the core corporate values, used every bit of their Crucial Conversations skill set, emotionally intelligenced the nuances, and framed...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 10, 2025 acceptance agency alignment boundaries burnout change clarity coalition community connection discernment energy exhaustion frustration influence integrity leadership mentorship metrics perspective process purpose reality reflection regulation resistance strategy systems values

Grateful for Rejection? A Post-Thanksgiving Reflection

If you’re feeling maxed out on gratitude messages this month, you’re not alone. The day after Thanksgiving tends to expose the gap between the gratitude we’re “supposed” to feel and how our brains actually work. That gap is where the science gets interesting. So instead of another round of holida...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 10, 2025 acceptance awareness bias burnout clarity disappointment ego gratitude growth happiness insight mindfulness mindset mood negativity perspective positivity psychology purpose reflection reframing resilience sleep stress

When Effort Feels Right

A couple of weeks ago, my friend, colleague, and physician advocate Dr. Sasha Shillcutt wrote something that grabbed my attention: “Can we all stop shaming women who work hard?” It resonated. The pendulum has needed to swing toward rest and boundaries for a long time. We’ve finally begun to norma...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 14, 2025 agency alignment autonomy awareness balance boundaries burnout choice clarity compassion curiosity discipline effort energy expectations flow fulfillment inquiry insight intention judgment mindfulness obligation overload passion people pleasing perfectionism perspective priorities purpose recovery reflection reset rest self-care shame signals support sustainability tells validation wellbeing work

When Justice Meets the Judge

The shadow side of good values in medicine... I’ve learned that even good values have edges. Justice, for me, especially. We talk a lot about values in medicine: integrity, compassion, excellence, justice. But I’ve learned that even our best values have a "shadow side". Sometimes, even justice ne...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 alignment awareness balance boundaries burnout clarity compassion control criticism discernment distortion ego evolution excellence faith grace humanity humility imbalance integrity judge judgment justice learning martyrdom outrage perfectionism perspective proportion reflection responsibility rigidity self-justification

A Ditch on Each Side of the Road (and How to Avoid Them)

Leadership often feels like driving a narrow road. You’re trying to keep the vehicle moving forward, but there’s a ditch on each side that can take you out if you drift too far. Recently I had the chance to moderate an STFM GME Leadership Panel with three seasoned leaders in academic medicine — D...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 10, 2025 accountability balance boundaries burnout collaboration communication creativity delegation development discipline efficiency empowerment engagement feedback focus growth leadership longevity mentoship mindset organization oversight perspective prioritization reflection resilience skillset strategy structure support sustainability time transparency vision

Quiet Quitting, Nike’s Reframe, and the Real Risk in Medicine

Quiet quitting is no longer just a workplace buzzword. A new study in Family Medicine described how residency leaders are seeing disengagement, professionalism concerns, and strategic “time protection” among trainees. The authors traced this disengagement back to multiple causes: generational shi...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 13, 2025 burnout challenges collaboration commitment communication cringe culture discernment disengagement education efficiency effort faculty frustration generations growth mentorship motivation patient care professionalism quiet quitting rebranding reflection residency selectivity sustainability systemic pressures time protection trainees trust work values workplace

The Farmer's Table: Rethinking Stewardship in Medicine

When we talk about stewardship in medicine, it usually means handling precious resources wisely: Blood bank stewardship (don’t squander that O-negative so it’s there in a crisis) Antibiotic stewardship (use the narrowest spectrum possible, so we don’t fuel resistance) Resource stewardship (choo...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 12, 2025 balance boundaries burnout care clinic costs efficiency generosity inboxes listening medicine notes patients reflection resources shortages stewardship strain sustainability time tradeoffs well-being workforce

The Power of a Pen: Story and Reflection

Sometimes autonomy doesn’t start with a policy change or a big career decision. Sometimes it starts with… a pen. Last week, I listened to Dr. Jeff Haney, Vice Dean for Clinical Affairs at WSU Elson S. Floyd COM, share a story during a session on emotional intelligence. He described a night on cal...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 22, 2025 agency autonomy awareness burnout choice connection empowerment engagement fulfillment identity intentionality mindset resilience well-being

Beyond Labels: Story and Reflection

It’s not infrequent that I’m in conversation with a faculty member who’s frustrated with one or two residents they see as lazy or disengaged. Those moments take me right back to how I sometimes felt a decade ago, when I was burned out in my core faculty role. I remember the intensity of that frus...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 22, 2025 barriers burnout connection conversations criticism curiosity data defesiveness drive efficiency energy engagement exhuastion experience feedback frustration gaps growth immersion interviewing labels language learning minset motivation nuance patience perspective procrastination quality rapport reflection remediation repitition resources responsibility safety strengths support trust understanding

Right Pause, Right Time Story and Reflection

Years ago, I was leading a medical team in Southeast Asia after the tsunami. Infrastructure was gone, local health workers were either missing or tending to their own communities, and our team, hosted by a local NGO, was running long, hot, and emotionally heavy days. One morning, something was of...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jul 31, 2025 awareness breath burnout clarity cohesion compassion connection emotion gratitude healing humanity insight intention leadership listening medicine mindfulness observation pause perspective presence purpose recovery reflection resilience restoration support sustainability teamwork wellbeing

The Helper's Fine Line: Story and Reflection

I usually received good grades and positive comments on my report cards as a kid. However, I received one remark from my first-grade teacher that I wasn't sure how to take. She wrote, "Tonya is sometimes too helpful to her neighbors." Being helpful is good, right? I mean, Dawn was struggling with...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 autonomy boundaries burnout capacity building coaching developmental struggle discomfort enablement expectations growth growth mindset helicoptering independence intention learning mental muscle mentoring modeling overhelping pause rescuing role clarity self-efficacy supportive leadership trust

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: burnout

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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