Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: burnout
Showing 12 results:
The Penstock Paradox
I've been catching up on Lisa Rosenbaum's Not Otherwise Specified podcast series on primary care. https://not-otherwise-specified-podcast.nejm.org/e/when-no-ones-watching/
The final episode is titled When No One's Watching.
Near the end, Jonathan Han, a family physician and residency director, ta...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 23, 2026
alignment
artistry
authenticity
balance
burnout
caring
community
compassion
connection
contribution
creativity
encouragement
energy
engagement
excellence
flourishing
fulfillment
generosity
gratidtude
humanity
impact
influence
inspiration
intentionality
joy
kindness
leadership
legacy
meaning
mentorship
motivation
presence
purpose
purpose driven
regognition
rejuvenation
relationships
relection
renewal
resilience
restoration
service
significance
stewardship
sustainability
values
wellbeing
John Changes the Question
A few weeks ago, I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician facing a career dilemma I hear often:
“I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave my current o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 29, 2026
adaptation
agency
alignment
authenticity
awareness
burnout
career
change
clarity
coaching
compassion
connection
continuity
decision making
direction
discovery
engagement
fulfillment
growth
inquiry
insight
intention
leadership
listening
meaning
medicine
mindset
perspective
physicians
purpose
reflection
renewal
resilience
self-awareness
sustainability
teaching
transformation
transition
trust
values
John and the Honeymoon Effect
Last week I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician wrestling with a career dilemma I hear very frequently: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave m...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 17, 2026
adaptation
awareness
balance
burnout
career
career change
clarity
coaching
cognition
compassion
contentment
curiosity
decision making
development
feedback
fulfillment
growth
healthcare
identity
insight
intentionality
leadership
learning
medicine
mindset
motivation
negativity bias
patterns
perspective
physician
psychology
purpose
reflection
relationships
resilience
self-assessment
self-awareness
systems
transitions
wellbeing
John's Decision
A common theme I hear from physicians is this:
“I’ve lost confidence in my ability to pick a good job because I’m looking to leave…again.”
And honestly, healthcare is different than it was decades ago when physicians often stayed in one practice for 30–40 years. Expectations, systems, autonomy, c...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 14, 2026
adaptation
autonomy
balance
burnout
career
career change
change
clarity
coaching
cognition
comparison
confidence
contentment
decision making
despair
fulfillment
growth
healthcare
insight
intention
job search
leadership
medicine
mindset
motivation
negativity bias
perspective
physician
psychology
purpose
reflection
resilience
self-awareness
shame
stress
systems
thought work
transition
values
wellbeing
The Impact We Don't Always See
I came across a piece from Sahil Bloom not too long ago about the “Stonecutter Principle,” which is so relatable to the work I do.
In case you’re not familiar with the story - a quick recap: three stonecutters doing the same work but describing it very differently: cutting stone, building a wall,...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 14, 2026
administration
awareness
burnout
caregiving
cathedral
compassion
connection
documentation
empathy
forms
fulfillment
gratitude
growth
healing
healthcare
humanity
impact
leadership
legacy
meaning
medicine
mindset
motivation
patient care
perspective
physician
purpose
purposeful work
quality of life
reflection
reframing
relationships
resilience
service
stonecutter
storytelling
support
values
Two Kinds of Motivation
I had the chance to host Dr Tyra Fainstad (University of Colorado, Better Together Coaching Founder) for a group coaching session on mindset, and she opened with Self-Determination Theory (SDT).
I've loved the topic of SDT since hearing Dr Richard Ryan speak at the IOC Coaching in Leadership and ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 23, 2026
autonomy
awareness
behavior
burnout
capability
choice
clarity
coaching
cognition
competence
connection
development
educaiton
emotions
engagement
extrinsic
focus
growth
habits
innercritic
intrinsic
introjects
leadership
learning
medicine
mindset
motivation
performance
physician
psychology
purpose
reflection
relatedness
resilience
self-determination
thinking
values
wellbeing
What the Critic Taught Me
I was talking with a physician recently who started his own practice.
Someone had asked about him in a local Facebook group. There were about thirty responses. Not just “he’s good,” but detailed, generous paragraphs about his skill, empathy, time, and care.
And then one line:
“My mom saw him and ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Apr 23, 2026
adaptability
attention
awareness
beliefs
boundaries
burnout
coaching
comparison
confidence
criticism
delegation
development
emotions
empathy
feeback
focus
grace
growth
identity
improvement
interpretation
leadership
learning
medicine
mentorship
mindset
narrative
perspective
physician
practice
purpose
reflection
reputation
resilience
reviews
selfworth
trigger
validation
values
wellbeing
Tools and Strategies
Mindset
I always spend a lot of time on mindset. It is foundational and under-discussed. However, if we only change mindset without also learning strategies and new tools, many things will stay the same.
For instance, you may have a whole new outlook on your inbox. But if you want to improve comm...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Feb 27, 2026
accountability
alignment
assertiveness
awareness
boundaries
burnout
clarity
cognitive load
communication
compassion
conflict
decision making
development
efficiency
emotional intelligence
empowerment
energy management
execution
feedback
focus
growth
intentionality
kindness
leadership
mindset
ownership
perspective
prevention
prioritization
proactivity
processes
productivity
professionalism
psychological safety
reactivity
reflection
relationships
repair
resilience
respect
response
sbar
self-efficacy
self-leadership
self-regulation
strategy
structure
systems
triage
The Myth of Ready
This week, I tried a simple AI morning brain-warm-up experiment at the suggestion of Alex Morgan from The Neuron.
I gave ChatGPT this reflective prompt: Share one interesting assumption I might hold without realizing.
The response: Sometimes we assume we need clarity before we’re allowed to move....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Feb 06, 2026
action
balance
burnout
clarity
contribution
creativity
decision
default mode
direction
equlibrium
experimentation
growth
healing
insight
leadership
learning
metaphor
mindset
momentum
movement
neuroscience
paddleboarding
progress
reassessment
recovery
reflection
resilience
rest
strategy
thinking
uncertainty
The Casting Room
I’ve been reflecting on how easily past training experiences (or any experience for that matter) can be oversimplified by those who didn’t live them.
It took me a minute to understand why that bothered me. It's because those oversimplified accounts tell a very narrow story of some of the very exp...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 31, 2026
burnout
compassion
grace
healing
healthcare
humanity
humility
kindness
medicine
mentorship
perfectionism
professionalism
reflection
residency
resilience
stress
suffering
surgery
training
trauma
vulnerability
witnessing
When Influence Stops Working: Acceptance Without Endorsement
This is Part 3 of a 5-part series exploring what helps when influence has stopped working. Nothing moves. No matter how much skill, strategy, data, coalition-building, or heart you bring. And it’s something you care deeply about.
Earlier pieces focused on redefining success and navigating constra...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 09, 2026
academia
acceptance
adaptation
agency
alignment
boundaries
bureaucracy
burnout
clarity
coaching
constraint
control
detachment
discernment
dynamics
dysfunction
emotionality
endorsement
energy
equanimity
expectations
frustration
influence
leadership
letting go
maturity
medicine
ownership
predictability
prioritization
reafctivity
reality
regulation
resilience
sobriety
stewardship
sustainability
systems
tolerance
wisdom
Suitcases, Constraints, and Where Possibility Lives
Last week, I wrote about a familiar moment in medicine: when you’ve used every skillful form of influence you have (data, stories, coalitions, reframing) and nothing moves. When effort stops matching outcome, (high importance, low control, and your influence stalls), there are a few ways forward....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 12, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
agency
burnout
constraint
control
creativity
energy
flexibility
impact
influence
leadership
limits
navigation
possibility
problem-solving
reframing
resilience
strategy
systems
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
