Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: boundaries

Showing 12 results:

Every physician leader I coach eventually reaches the same moment. They’ve done the work: gathered data, built coalitions, shared meaningful stories, aligned it to the core corporate values, used every bit of their Crucial Conversations skill set, emotionally intelligenced the nuances, and framed...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 10, 2025 acceptance agency alignment boundaries burnout change clarity coalition community connection discernment energy exhaustion frustration influence integrity leadership mentorship metrics perspective process purpose reality reflection regulation resistance strategy systems values

When Effort Feels Right

A couple of weeks ago, my friend, colleague, and physician advocate Dr. Sasha Shillcutt wrote something that grabbed my attention: “Can we all stop shaming women who work hard?” It resonated. The pendulum has needed to swing toward rest and boundaries for a long time. We’ve finally begun to norma...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 14, 2025 agency alignment autonomy awareness balance boundaries burnout choice clarity compassion curiosity discipline effort energy expectations flow fulfillment inquiry insight intention judgment mindfulness obligation overload passion people pleasing perfectionism perspective priorities purpose recovery reflection reset rest self-care shame signals support sustainability tells validation wellbeing work

Learning to Hold the Tension

The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.” We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched. We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest. We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all. ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Nov 07, 2025 acceptance adjustment agency alignment awareness balance boundaries boundedness caring clarity compassion connection courage deliberation disappointment discernment equanimity ethics harmony integrity intentionality leadership navigation polarity presence prioritization reflection resilience responsibility restraint self-care tension

When Justice Meets the Judge

The shadow side of good values in medicine... I’ve learned that even good values have edges. Justice, for me, especially. We talk a lot about values in medicine: integrity, compassion, excellence, justice. But I’ve learned that even our best values have a "shadow side". Sometimes, even justice ne...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 alignment awareness balance boundaries burnout clarity compassion control criticism discernment distortion ego evolution excellence faith grace humanity humility imbalance integrity judge judgment justice learning martyrdom outrage perfectionism perspective proportion reflection responsibility rigidity self-justification

Reflection: Between the Gates

On her recent Dare to Lead podcast, Brené Brown reads an excerpt from her new book, Solid Ground. In it she described ship locks, sometimes called water elevators in canals, and it’s an image that has stayed with me. For those who haven’t seen them: when a ship moves from one body of water to ano...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 10, 2025 adaptation adjustment alignment attention awareness balance boundaries calm centering compassion connection energy equilibrium flow focus grace grounding humanity integration intention leadership mindfulness patience pause perspective preparation presence recovery reflection regulation renewal reset resilience restoration rhythm self-awareness space stillness sustainability transition

A Ditch on Each Side of the Road (and How to Avoid Them)

Leadership often feels like driving a narrow road. You’re trying to keep the vehicle moving forward, but there’s a ditch on each side that can take you out if you drift too far. Recently I had the chance to moderate an STFM GME Leadership Panel with three seasoned leaders in academic medicine — D...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 10, 2025 accountability balance boundaries burnout collaboration communication creativity delegation development discipline efficiency empowerment engagement feedback focus growth leadership longevity mentoship mindset organization oversight perspective prioritization reflection resilience skillset strategy structure support sustainability time transparency vision

The Farmer's Table: Rethinking Stewardship in Medicine

When we talk about stewardship in medicine, it usually means handling precious resources wisely: Blood bank stewardship (don’t squander that O-negative so it’s there in a crisis) Antibiotic stewardship (use the narrowest spectrum possible, so we don’t fuel resistance) Resource stewardship (choo...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 12, 2025 balance boundaries burnout care clinic costs efficiency generosity inboxes listening medicine notes patients reflection resources shortages stewardship strain sustainability time tradeoffs well-being workforce

Not Everyone Gets a Seat at Your Table

In clinical & academic medicine, and in leadership, “they” shows up a lot. They’ll think I’m a joke. They can tell I don’t belong. They are totally judging me. But here’s the problem: “they” rarely has a face. A faceless crowd gets invited to our mental table of influence, and suddenly we’re serv...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Aug 29, 2025 academia boundaries clarity colleagues comparison critics crowd decisions discernment doubt energy fear feedback growth influence judgment leaders leadership medicine overgeneralization perspective power reflection resilience source table voices worth

Leaders and Legacy Reflection

When physicians or faculty leaders are struggling in their roles—or with certain parts of them—I often ask: "When you think of a leader you admire, what qualities stand out?" They usually name things such as integrity. Strength. Clinical wisdom. Courage. Kindness. Collaboration. And almost always...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 admiration awareness balance boundaries capacity choice clarity courage decline dedication delegation discomfort expansion growth impact influence integrity kindness leaders leadership legacy modeling possibility presence purpose rolemodeling streamline strength sustainability tension wisdom

Purpose at the Crossroads: Story and Reflection

It’s at the crossroads—between opportunity and discernment—that purpose gets tested. - A resident deciding between a desired fellowship and staying in a community they love that may not utilize that training. - A faculty member torn between taking on a leadership role or focusing their energy on ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 alignment authenticity boundaries calling clarity decision making discernment growth humility intentionality leadership long-term impact meaning opportunity purpose responsibility self-awareness service sustainability team based leadership timing transition vocation well-being wisdom

The Helper's Fine Line: Story and Reflection

I usually received good grades and positive comments on my report cards as a kid. However, I received one remark from my first-grade teacher that I wasn't sure how to take. She wrote, "Tonya is sometimes too helpful to her neighbors." Being helpful is good, right? I mean, Dawn was struggling with...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 autonomy boundaries burnout capacity building coaching developmental struggle discomfort enablement expectations growth growth mindset helicoptering independence intention learning mental muscle mentoring modeling overhelping pause rescuing role clarity self-efficacy supportive leadership trust

Time Hack and Emotions: Story and Reflection

Time Hack - I'm modeling scheduled rest and boundaries, so I got creative with scheduling this week's reflection. 😊 Time-hack - make your work count twice. I'm working smarter not harder - linking you to the reflection from my blog rather than writing something new while I'm off. The story: I'm o...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 automation balance boundaries creativity delegation efficiency emotional awareness flexibility intentionality off-grid pacing prioritization reflection rest self-care self-permission simplicity smart working sustainability time management

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: boundaries

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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