Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: boundaries
Showing 12 results:
Leaders and Legacy Reflection
When physicians or faculty leaders are struggling in their roles—or with certain parts of them—I often ask:
"When you think of a leader you admire, what qualities stand out?"
They usually name things such as integrity. Strength. Clinical wisdom. Courage. Kindness. Collaboration.
And almost always...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
admiration
awareness
balance
boundaries
capacity
choice
clarity
courage
decline
dedication
delegation
discomfort
expansion
growth
impact
influence
integrity
kindness
leaders
leadership
legacy
modeling
possibility
presence
purpose
rolemodeling
streamline
strength
sustainability
tension
wisdom
Purpose at the Crossroads: Story and Reflection
It’s at the crossroads—between opportunity and discernment—that purpose gets tested.
- A resident deciding between a desired fellowship and staying in a community they love that may not utilize that training.
- A faculty member torn between taking on a leadership role or focusing their energy on ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
alignment
authenticity
boundaries
calling
clarity
decision making
discernment
growth
humility
intentionality
leadership
long-term impact
meaning
opportunity
purpose
responsibility
self-awareness
service
sustainability
team based leadership
timing
transition
vocation
well-being
wisdom
The Helper's Fine Line: Story and Reflection
I usually received good grades and positive comments on my report cards as a kid. However, I received one remark from my first-grade teacher that I wasn't sure how to take. She wrote, "Tonya is sometimes too helpful to her neighbors."
Being helpful is good, right?
I mean, Dawn was struggling with...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
autonomy
boundaries
burnout
capacity building
coaching
developmental struggle
discomfort
enablement
expectations
growth
growth mindset
helicoptering
independence
intention
learning
mental muscle
mentoring
modeling
overhelping
pause
rescuing
role clarity
self-efficacy
supportive leadership
trust
Time Hack and Emotions: Story and Reflection
Time Hack - I'm modeling scheduled rest and boundaries, so I got creative with scheduling this week's reflection. 😊 Time-hack - make your work count twice. I'm working smarter not harder - linking you to the reflection from my blog rather than writing something new while I'm off.
The story: I'm o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
automation
balance
boundaries
creativity
delegation
efficiency
emotional awareness
flexibility
intentionality
off-grid
pacing
prioritization
reflection
rest
self-care
self-permission
simplicity
smart working
sustainability
time management
Blindfolds: Story and Reflection
For better or worse (mostly better), I'm partly the result of having an older sister.
When we were kids, she had brilliant ideas for games. One of her favorites? A blindfolded taste test.
She claimed it was all in good fun—but let’s be honest, it was her sneaky way of trying to cure my “ridiculou...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
agency
autonomy
boundaries
childhood
coaching
competence
control
curiosity
empowerment
encouragement
experimentation
growth
humor
individuality
insight
learning
memory
non-judgment
persuasion
playfulness
psychological safety
reflection
relatedness
resilience
resistance
self-discovery
skepticism
support
trial and error
trust
Car Problems: Story and Reflection
Shortly after moving to Alaska and starting my core faculty role, I caused a traffic jam. You see, I had pulled onto the busy road in front of the residency and quickly maneuvered across three lanes of traffic to the two packed turn lanes in 5 o'clock traffic.
And then --- my car died - just as t...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
awareness
boundaries
burnout
capacity
community
compassion
embarassment
energy management
gratitude
habits
humility
learning
life balance
limits
metaphor
mindset
pacing
pattern
priorities
recovery
refueling
regulation
resilience
routine
self-awareness
self-care
support
teamwork
vulnerabiulity
warning signs
Reflection: What's Left?
A couple of years ago, at the BE Conference in Scottsdale, speaker and drama researcher, Cy Wakeman demonstrated a tool she called "Edit Your Story" to a room of hundreds of women physicians. She asked for show of hands of who worked with a difficult person on a regular basis. (I snapped the phot...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
agency
boundaries
choice
clarity
cognitive shift
community
compassion
decision making
detachment
drama
editing
emotional intelligence
empowerment
facts
groundedness
interpretation
mindset
narrative
next step
ownership
perception
perspective
reaction
reality
reframing
resilience
self-awareness
self-regulation
story editing
workplace
Seat Swapping Story and Reflection
During our 30th anniversary trip, we explored new locales and discovered fantastic small restaurants that locals were trying hard to keep off TripAdvisor. One such gem was in Mainz, a cozy outdoor setting with beautiful ivy over the brick walls and around the fencing.
If you have ever eaten out w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
adaptability
assessment
attention
awareness
boundaries
comfort
communication
composure
decision making
empathy
experience
foresight
humor
improvisation
instinct
intuition
judgment
observation
partnership
perspective
predictability
protection
relationships
restraint
risk
scenario-reading
self-knowledge
travel
trust
uncertainty
Navigation Story and Reflection
Years ago, my young nephew was carpooling to school with us in my new Honda Odyssey minivan that had my first navigation system. From the captain chair behind me, he exclaimed, "Oh COOL Aunt Tonya! You have a force field?!" It took me a minute to realize he was talking about my dashboard location...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
amygdala
analogy
boundaries
calm
childhood
control
countertransference
curiosity
detachment
emotions
empathy
forcefield
humor
imagination
inner-peace
mindset
narrative
navigation
perspective
protection
reaction
reflection
reframe
regulation
resilience
road-rage
self-awareness
triggers
understanding
visualization
wonder
Boundaries and Antics, Story and Reflection
Many of you know I recommend Brave Boundaries, a book by Dr. Sasha Shillcutt. After she co-hosted a group session for residents and faculty last year, I saw Aardvark (that's our pet-name for our older style Roomba vacuum) and his virtual barrier shown in the photo in a new light. That little cont...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
awareness
boundaries
consequences
experience
growth
humor
instinct
intuition
judgment
learning
planning
protection
reflection
reflex
resilience
risk
safety
self-preservation
vulnerability
wisdom
Cooking with the Caylor's Story & Reflection
A few years back, I had just returned from a rewarding conference in Napa put on by Harvard School of Public Health and the Culinary Institute of America (CIA) - Healthy Kitchens, Healthy Lives. Healthy nutrition science meets taste 💜.
The first year my husband and I attended, I came home energiz...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 09, 2025
adaptation
assumptions
boundaries
burnout
communication
delegation
expectations
gratitude
hospitality
humility
insight
leadership
partnership
preparation
realism
resilience
resources
support
systems
teamwork
Accomplishing the Mission Reflection
Last June, the Titan submersive caught the attention of the world. When he described the Naval Submarine Priorities in all situations, Rear Admiral John Mauger caught my attention when he said: "Number 1 is Safety, Number 2 is maybe something along the lines of avoiding counter detection, Number ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 09, 2025
altruism
boundaries
intervention
leadership
mission
overextension
perspective
prevention
priorities
proactvity
recovery
reflection
resilience
rest
risk
safety
self-awareness
sustainability
warning-signs
wellness
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
