Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: influence
Showing 9 results:
Suitcases, Constraints, and Where Possibility Lives
Last week, I wrote about a familiar moment in medicine: when you’ve used every skillful form of influence you have (data, stories, coalitions, reframing) and nothing moves. When effort stops matching outcome, (high importance, low control, and your influence stalls), there are a few ways forward....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 12, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
agency
burnout
constraint
control
creativity
energy
flexibility
impact
influence
leadership
limits
navigation
possibility
problem-solving
reframing
resilience
strategy
systems
When Influence Stops Influencing
Every physician leader I coach eventually reaches the same moment. They’ve done the work: gathered data, built coalitions, shared meaningful stories, aligned it to the core corporate values, used every bit of their Crucial Conversations skill set, emotionally intelligenced the nuances, and framed...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
acceptance
agency
alignment
boundaries
burnout
change
clarity
coalition
community
connection
discernment
energy
exhaustion
frustration
influence
integrity
leadership
mentorship
metrics
perspective
process
purpose
reality
reflection
regulation
resistance
strategy
systems
values
Not Everyone Gets a Seat at Your Table
In clinical & academic medicine, and in leadership, “they” shows up a lot.
They’ll think I’m a joke.
They can tell I don’t belong.
They are totally judging me.
But here’s the problem: “they” rarely has a face. A faceless crowd gets invited to our mental table of influence, and suddenly we’re serv...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 29, 2025
academia
boundaries
clarity
colleagues
comparison
critics
crowd
decisions
discernment
doubt
energy
fear
feedback
growth
influence
judgment
leaders
leadership
medicine
overgeneralization
perspective
power
reflection
resilience
source
table
voices
worth
Leaders and Legacy Reflection
When physicians or faculty leaders are struggling in their roles—or with certain parts of them—I often ask:
"When you think of a leader you admire, what qualities stand out?"
They usually name things such as integrity. Strength. Clinical wisdom. Courage. Kindness. Collaboration.
And almost always...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
admiration
awareness
balance
boundaries
capacity
choice
clarity
courage
decline
dedication
delegation
discomfort
expansion
growth
impact
influence
integrity
kindness
leaders
leadership
legacy
modeling
possibility
presence
purpose
rolemodeling
streamline
strength
sustainability
tension
wisdom
Reflection: Passing it On
This past week, I had the great honor of sitting in a (virtual) room with five individuals who have dedicated decades of their careers to leadership in graduate medical education (GME).
The idea for this gathering started one morning when I woke up thinking about how tough leading in GME can be. ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
collaborative growth
collective wisdom
community
connection
cultivation
honoring
humility
impact
influence
inspiration
intergenerational learning
knowledge transfer
leadership
legacy
longevity
meaning making
mentorship
reflective practice
ripple effect
slow leadership
stewardship
storytelling
transparency
vision casting
vulnerability
wisdom
Filtering Voices: Story and Reflection
Like many medical students, I went back and forth on what specialty I really loved. OB/GYN? Sports Medicine? Internal Medicine? Rheum? Endocrine? Psychiatry? Adolescent Medicine? (Yes, all of them!)
I also had a fantastic role model in my dad, an outpatient family doc beloved by his patients. And...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
affirmation
belonging
choice
clarity
compassion
confidence
courage
decision making
doubt
encouragement
identity
influence
insecurity
integrity
internal guidance
judgment
medical culture
mentorship
perception
power dynamics
purpose
reassurance
reflection
respect
self-trust
soundtracks
validation
values
voice
wisdom
Great Progress Reflection
What's in a subject line? Specifically an email subject line. No, this isn't a reflection on best email practices. Just the power of words.
You know how we often keep a dialog going via email by replying to the original one sent, creating a chain of emails?
Well, these past couple of weeks, I hav...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
awareness
communication
correspondence
digital dialogue
email
emotion
energy
experiment
framing
impact
influence
intention
interaction
language
messaging
mindfulness
mood
naming
narrative
perception
priming
reflection
resonance
response
subject line
tone
tone setting
word choice
Team Reflection
I invite you this week to pause and reflect.
First, reflect on the BEST team you've ever been a part of. What were the behaviors, characteristics, practices, established culture, and norms made it so? When you've listed it all out, pause, think more, and dig deeper.
Second, if this is your curren...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 03, 2025
alignment
appreciation
awareness
belonging
celebration
collaboration
connection
contribution
culture
engagement
gratitude
growth
influence
leadership
motivation
norms
reflection
support
teamwork
trust
Fall Focus Reflection
"What you focus on expands." (multiple attributions)
I recalled this quote while watching my brilliant friend, Dr. Tricia James, explain how her modification of Stephen Covey's circles of influence and concern applies to us in medicine.
The outer circle applies to all of those things that are ou...
Jun 03, 2025
acceptance
attention
awareness
boundaries
control
emotions
empowerment
energy
focus
growth
influence
intention
leadership
medicine
mindset
perspective
reframing
regulation
resilience
suffering
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
